Out of surgery
Cleaned up and going home!
One week out – They say it looks good!
Maybe having your throat sliced open in order to replace a damaged disc with a state of the art artificial disc caused me to have early end of year reflections…but, for whatever reason – I am.
The upside is that I have the ability to plan out next year, before Dec 26 – Jan 1! This could be a great new pattern!
I’ve been having Deep thoughts – based on the book “The Happiness of Pursuit” by Chris Guillebeau
What really makes me tick? Not ticked! or ticked that I can’t tick!
Last night, I watched a movie/tv series from BBC called “The Bletchley Circle”. It’s kind of gruesome for that genre time, but not for murder mysteries for 2012 and on.
Anyway – they were cracking a murder code by looking at patterns – and one of the characters said
” when you are given corrupted code, you backtrack to the known pure code”.
This goes hand in hand with this summary of Chris’ book –
Everywhere that Chris visited he found ordinary people working toward extraordinary goals, making daily down payments on their dream. These “questers” included a suburban mom pursuing a wildly ambitious culinary project, a DJ producing the world’s largest symphony, a young widower completing the tasks his wife would never accomplish, and a teenager crossing an entire ocean alone – as well as a do-it-yourselfer tackling M.I.T.’s computer-science course, a nerd turning himself into real-life James Bond, and scores of others writing themselves into the record books.
The more Chris spoke with these strivers, the more he began to appreciate the direct link between questing and long-term happiness — how going after something in a methodical way enriches our lives — and he was compelled to complete a comprehensive study of the phenomenon and extract the best advice. In The Happiness of Pursuit he draws on interviews with hundreds of questers, revealing their secret motivations, their selection criteria, the role played by friends and family, their tricks for solving logistics, and the importance of documentation.
Equally fascinating is Chris’ examination of questing’s other side, including questers’ acute awareness of mortality, their struggle against monotony, and their wistful feelings once a quest has succeeded. What happens after the summit is climbed, the painting hung, the endurance record broken, the “at risk” community saved?
A book that challenges each of us to take control – to make our lives be about something while at the same time remaining clear-eyed about the commitment — The Happiness of Pursuit will inspire readers of every age and aspiration. It’s a playbook for making your life count.
I have always wanted my life to count…but at 51 – I started wondering what counted!
I have begun to realize that from all the messages given to me from social media, tv, movies, others(friends, family, strangers), philosophy, theology….I have had my code corrupted.
I need to go back to when the code was the most pure – and start again.
This is NOT going backwards, but rather – finding my true path – the true essence of me – who I am, what I believe, how I like to dress, what I am here for in this world.
In a sermon that WildRoss shared with me on a podcast –
the question in Genesis Chapter 3 – God asking “where are you?”
It’s not God hiding from us so that we have to seek – He KNOWS right where we are – He’s right there with me, when I’m hiding behind a tree – and He’s waiting for me to realize – I’M HIDING FROM HIM! and my relationship with HIM is more important than any relationship in my life.
That is where the code was purest…though there was plenty of corrupted messages back then – but life had enabled me to unravel some of those corrupted messages – and now – I need to go back to the beginning with new eyes, and reprocess.
There are scripture verses, quotes from THOP, another book I’m reading, about a woman that walked the AT at a very old age – Gramma someone – of course, Gramma Moses painting late in life…and some very old writers.
I’m no longer 51 – three more years have funneled through the hour glass – and I want to be about my Father’s business – whereever and whatever that may be.
Another thing I am looking at is three books about living Biblically for a year.
A year of living Biblically – by AJ Jacobs – I think this one is from the Jewish perspective
A year of Biblical Womanhood – by Rachel Held Evans – a woman’s perspective
A year of living Like Jesus – by Edward G Dobson – obviously the Christian Perspective
As well as finishing the book – The World is my Cloister – by John Michael Talbet
I have also been challenged by posts from a man named Steve Kamb – like this one: Does it Really Matter?
I guess that is the next challenge in my life…how to focus my life on these things – and drop those that don’t fit.
This morning, I just read this blog by Steve Kamb – About an Epic Quest. Life is a Game.
I want to make a difference?
Epic Quest time –
My epic quest is to be completely victorious over childhood sexual abuse, genetic chronic depression, and self destructive patterns.
This will not end until my life is over – so, it doesn’t have a date attached to it per Life Is a Game.
But, I have accomplished several things:
- No longer under the power of the abuser.
- No longer under the power of self blame and shame.
- No longer under the power of self hatred.
- No longer under the power of worthless burden mentality.
- No longer under the power of other’s placing blame on me for their own choices.
- one of three major damages to my body from a fall in the Navy is taken care of – artificial cervical disc!
- Damaged tendons in my feet and ankles have been repaired or rehabbed.
- I am no longer limited to a wheelchair! or a walker! or a cane.
- My bloodwork and vitals are constantly improving – and my liver is finally allowing me to take off weight!
- I completed one practice sprint triathlon – with the help of a physical therapist, helping to train me during my rehab!
- I have had my book outline reviewed by a main company editor – with promising reviews – and told to write it out longer.
- I have had my art seen by galleries – with promising reviews.
I have been able to reach broken children and families and women through various avenues.
BUT – what is my passion, what is my quest?
- To combine my art, my writings and my experiences to help broken women and children to reach their highest potential.
What does that look like?
- My blog
- An Art site
- My book
- and getting my hands dirty to work with those that the world has forgotten – under the bridges, behind the buildings, in the dumps, in the stores, in the schools, in the churches…where ever I can reach out a hand – and offer help.
I was given the title of a wounded healer – and it’s time that I get about walking into that calling.
I was told by someone that in RPG games – you always protect your healers.
In the RPG group on NerdFitness, I have set myself up as a healer.
In Real Life – I never really thought that anyone felt that my healing ‘powers’ were of much worth – they didn’t bring in money, they didn’t put food on the table, they didn’t cloth anyone – and instead, they often COST something.
Therefore – a side quest is to find a way that I can be this wounded healer, and provide for this ‘ministry’.
- My books?
- My paintings?
Another side quest is to find out how to utilize tools.
- Learn WordPress – and social media in order to gain some visibility to my writing that adds up to my book and studies.
- Learn FASO
- Learn e-publishing
- FineTune my skills – art courses, writing courses, abuse counseling type courses. and Bible counseling courses.
And, an all encompassing side quest is to continue to build strength, physically, mentally and emotionally.
These will have their own pathways.
My goals for the rest of the year (hence, this next challenge) is to set up for the following year with a master Epic Quest Goal – and sub goals.
At this time, I don’t know what this will look like – but I have to start walking my path, my quest – to my end goal of being all that I can be(though, that is the Army, not the Navy).
Now, I need to put these two trains of thoughts together –
what is my purpose (Faith, Art, Family, Adventures) and what quest does that line up with?
So, that’s my focus for the rest of the year – though there will be adventures, and family thrown in – starting tomorrow – by flying to Ohio, to see family.
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.
“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest
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