Monthly Archives: August 2011

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #23 – Stuck in the Middle

In Pilgrim’s Progress, there is a point where Pilgrim is faced with two lions ahead on the path. He later learned that they were chained, and if he walked ‘smack dab in the middle’ they could not touch him.
A similar thing occurs when he is going through he valley of the shadow of death…if he stays right in the middle of the path, he will not fall to the left or right and end his journey.

I was thinking of a commercial with Two chips Ahoy cookies – “Squeezed in the middle”
then I looked up the old song “Stuck in the middle with You” – by Stealers Wheel. Wierd music video…but then again, it’s a weird song!

But the verse that was stirring up these middle thoughts was this:

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD thy God in the midst of thee [is] mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.

Isn’t that BEAUTIFUL?

The LORD – First…one has to know Who is their LORD…and this promise is made to those that call Yehovah LORD.
Thy God – Second…you can have many lords over you…but this Lord is GOD – meaning ruler, judge, divine one.
IN THE MIDST OF THEE – Abiding within…

Rev 3:20 – Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

We have to invite Jesus in…within….within the midst of our lives…smack dab in the middle!

As we abide IN Him – He abides in us:

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

John 15 has much about abiding…and consequences for not abiding.

My thought was about being in the midst…God being in the midst of ME…and the prerequisite that I choose to be in the midst of HIM…such as in Ps 91:1 –

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high, and abideth under the shadow of the Almighty….

It’s a choice…and with this choice, the Lord God – the Almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth and all that there is….

shall rejoice over thee with joy
He will rest in His love
He will joy over thee with singing

It makes my heart sing to think that this is what my Father in Heaven wants of me…that THIS is what would bring Him joy…and singing. He wants to be in the MIDST OF ME AND MY LIFE!!!

Is Mighty….The Lord thy God in the midst of thee IS MIGHTY…

1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

This verse is a mighty spiritual warfare verse…and the key is IN US. The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty!

I pray that each person reading this will make sure that they have asked Yehovah God, Yeshua Christ, and the Holy Spirit to dwell smack dab in the middle of their hearts…and that from that day forward, we would choose to dwell smack dab in the middle of His secret place…in His throne room, where His joy abounds, and we are given strength through that joy. Then, we will have the ability to face the trials of the day with JOY.

Stay to the middle of this straight and narrow path…so that when we come to our final destination, the dirt and grime from the world on our left and right will be minimal, and more importantly, we will not fall prey to the lions that try to pull us off our path.

1 Pet 5:8-9 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

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Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #22 – Sleep Tight

Genesis 2:2-3 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

Rest is ordained by God.

Ps 4: 8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
Ps 127:2 [It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.

When God created the world/universe, He created time.
He also created rest.
We are to give ONE day a week to resting in His presence.
I’m not talking about that kind of rest.

God created our bodies with this circadian rhythm that keeps us in balance. This is the rest I am talking about. Sleep is a blessing from God.

Harvard Women’s Health Watch agrees:

Importance of Sleep : Six reasons not to scrimp on sleep
January 2006

A recent survey found that more people are sleeping less than six hours a night, and sleep difficulties visit 75% of us at least a few nights per week. A short-lived bout of insomnia is generally nothing to worry about. The bigger concern is chronic sleep loss, which can contribute to health problems such as weight gain, high blood pressure, and a decrease in the immune system’s power, reports the Harvard Women’s Health Watch.

While more research is needed to explore the links between chronic sleep loss and health, it’s safe to say that sleep is too important to shortchange.

The Harvard Women’s Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:

Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.

Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.

Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.

Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.

Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.

Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

There is a reason that sleep deprivation is a huge part of brain washing and torture! Wikipedia has an article on Sleep Deprivation with more than you’ll ever want to know. My point for including it here is that there is a section that discusses sleep deprivation as a from of Interrogation.

In my personal life, with a depressive disorder, if I do not sleep well for a period of time, I have had psychotic events that have caused various difficulties.
I have also had times, because of dreams or night terrors that I have been afraid to go to sleep. I have cried out for those promises.

In order to be able to walk, one must have the strength to walk, whether mind or body. Sleep is God’s way of restoring our bodies. How can we restore what we may have lost?
In this Helpguide about Sleeping, it talks about paying off the sleep debt:

Sleep debt is the difference between the amount of sleep you need and the hours you actually get. Every time you sacrifice on sleep, you add to the debt. Eventually, the debt will have to be repaid. It won’t go away on its own. If you lose an hour of sleep, you must make up that extra hour somewhere down the line in order to bring your “account” back into balance.

I have never seen a plan for paying off the sleep debt, but this makes sense to me. Find time that you can go to bed at the normal time, and then, wake up with no alarm clock. They recommend a two week period, but not everyone has that flexibility. So do it on the weekends.

In the end – a good night’s sleep makes the next day much better.
And in the consideration of walking, every thing is much steadier.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures, and leadeth me beside still waters.

My Shepherd leads me to rest BEFORE I walk into the valley of the shadow of death! Not after.

In the creation story, a day is described Evening and morning were the first….day.
Rest comes first – then the strength to walk through the day.
Rest is ordained by God.

Ps 4: 8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
Ps 127:2 [It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.

Sleep is a blessing from God.

I am walking a race – and I do not want to become weary in well doing, and faint…therefore, I need to take care of this body, and rest as God has instituted.
Good sleep every night, and resting in His presence every week(another post later).

So – good night! Sleep tight! and love the Lord with all your might!
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

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Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Battle Plan for Comparison Blues – part 2

Battle Plan
An Antidote for Post Conference Blues or any Comparison Blues!

Every time I go to a conference, I come back with Post conference blues. I am so quick to compare myself and my children and my efforts with everyone else, and to take the talks terribly personally, that I am overwhelmed with my conviction, and am tempted to give up.

This year I recognized it a bit before going…with the issue of dress, and looks, and expected appearance. After we arrived at home, the blues hit again, and this time, I cried out.

Here is the antidote that God gave me: Part 2

I needed a battle plan….I was definitely in warfare!
I went to the obvious warfare passage:

Eph 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

I was fighting with my husband’s flesh, my children’s flesh, and my own flesh (the latter being the most difficult!). I was falling prey to those fiery darts big time…and they were coming so fast and so furious, and I was so beaten down, my shield was almost too heavy to lift up.

Psal 3:2 (KJS) Many [there be] which say of my soul, [There is] no help for him in God. Selah.
3 But thou, O LORD, [art] a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

Somewhere I was missing something…but that goes back to part one…I was missing my promises! As my dear husband meditated on 2 Pet 1, he taught us on these verses – more promises to add to those God gave me (mentioned in part one)!

2Pet 1:2 (KJS) Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, 3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that [pertain] unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Promises:

11) Grace
12) Peace
13) both of those Multiplied through the Knowledge of God and Jesus!
14) I’ve been given All things that pertain unto life and godliness (I can do it through Him!)
15) other exceeding great and precious promises that will make me to be a partaker of the divine nature
15 b) and to escape the corruption of the world through the lust thereof

So, God has provided a way, and I just have to wait, and rejoice. I was already crying!

Phil 4:4 (KJS) Rejoice in the Lord alway: [and] again I say, Rejoice.
(James 1:2 always comes to mind when choosing to rejoice!)
Phil 4:6 (KJS) Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Ok, so I am taking thought, caring for my children’s futures, how to schedule our days, our seemingly endless failure to complete wisdom books(homeschooling) on time, and the fact that our marriage is not the ideal marriage, our life is not always lining up with what we say we believe…all this added to the health issues….whew. I needed to just get quiet! Rejoice?!? Count it all joy?!? I was trying hard not to grumble and complain!

So, how do I take on the enemy? Well, I’ll have to tell you that in Part three!

PART THREE

PART FOUR
BACK TO PART ONE

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #21 Let go of those broken chains

What do I mean by ‘let go of those broken chains’?

Ps 2:3 Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.

I told my friend Mark that I was working on binding my will to God based on his comments in his Bible Study for Tuesday morning, on Genesis 12:1-3.

God moved Abraham. Literally. He told Abraham to move from the land and people he knew. In our moving away from that with which we are comfortable, God is able to bless us. It is our movement toward his will for our lives that becomes a blessing for us. Our own wills becoming bound to the will of God is what brings us happiness.

This 100 Spiritual Walking Steps has been all about moving towards God – and being IN the presence of God, IN His Will – is the fullness of Joy. (Neh 8:10)

I said I was trying to bind my will to HIS…but that I also need some work in James 1 – Counting all Joy when encountering trials.

He told me to watch out for the waves!
What waves? I had to go back to James!

James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

Wow…that smacked me in my face…
I’ve been struggling with this new injury to the old issue of my left ankle.

I told Mark “I feel like I’m seasick!”

I’ve been struggling with the old injury with my hips, the old injury with my lower back, middle back, and neck. I’ve been struggling with the newer injuries of my forearms(stress from walking and mobility devices) and now my elbows and wrists. I’m struggling with more and more medicine and why don’t I have the faith to do without? I’m struggling with daily disciplines that keep me in contact with my Savior. I’m struggling…and yes, I feel like waves keep overtaking me, and knocking me under…and I’m struggling to stay afloat.

Funny thing is, I love to lay on the water and just ride the waves. In fact, my husband was afraid the last time I did that I would be pulled out to sea by the tide. With each wave, I floated farther and farther away from the beach! I was so relaxed, I didn’t care! I told him that we’ll buy a long leash and tie it to my ankle so he can pull me back in!

Chains…we all started with chains that pull us back, pull us down, and keep us from soaring, or riding the waves.

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

That passage describes being set free to me.
Mature and complete, not lacking anything!
When Jesus died on the cross – He paid the sin price for me!
When Jesus rose from the dead – He defeated death and sin for me!
When Jesus ascended into Heaven – He became THE advocate for me!
I am set free!
And that is the truth…and the TRUTH shall set ME FREE!

And I don’t know about you, but that makes me want to dance!

It’s a choice…hold on to the chains that USED to describe me…or agree with the one that broke the chains and freed me.

I’m dancin’!!! Sing with me?
Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance….
I just want to praise You!
I just want to praise You!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Battle Plan for Comparison Blues

Battle Plan
An Antidote for Post Conference Blues or any Comparison Blues!

This year I recognized it a bit before going…with the issue of dress, and looks, and expected appearance. After we arrived at home, the blues hit again, and this time, I cried out.

Here is the antidote that God gave me:

Ephe 6:10 (KJS) Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

Who can be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might? Those that are the saved, called according to His purpose.

1John 5:4 (KJS) For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, [even] our faith. 5 Who is he that overcometh the world, but he that believeth that Jesus is the Son of God?
Luke 10:19 (KJS) Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

He kept telling me to wait

(Isai 40:31 (KJS) But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint. )

and in meditating on that verse, I also came to:

Psal 27:14 (KJS) Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

So, what was I doing? My soul was disquieted…cast down, despairing!

Psal 42:11 (KJS) Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, [who is] the health of my countenance, and my God.

And God says to me:

Isai 41:10 (KJS) Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
2Tim 1:7 (KJS) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

As an aside, I have been struggling with many health concerns. So, here I have God’s promise to

renew my strength
mount up with wings as eagles
run, not be weary
walk, not faint
strengthen my heart
my countenance shall be healthy through Him
strengthen ME
help ME
uphold me with his right hand
give me power, love and a sound mind

All of these promises spoke to specific items of prayer that I have had, that had burdened me down, causing me to believe that I was not capable of attaining the certain high standard.

I’m going to do this in sections…but God gave me a battle plan that may encourage some of you. Take it one part at a time!

Christi’s Bible Study Page

Graphics by Free Bible Studies

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Comfort From the Comforter –

Let me share something what the Lord led me to do, as I was in an MRI machine. I had meant to choose a verse to meditate on….but was met there by friends to stay with my son…and had not chosen one yet.

As I lay in the machine, with many strange noises, The Lord brought Ps 23 to mind.
Here’s how He did it:
The Lord (this is one of the acrostics He gave me)
L – oving
O– mnipotant
R – uling
D – ivine

IS
I AM that I AM, eternal, without beginning or end

MY
I was predestined and ordained to be elect,
He knows the plans He has for me!
He knew me before the foundation of the earth,
before I was formed in my mother’s womb

SHEPHERD
My sheep hear my voice and follow me (yes Lord, I will follow)
~ Saviour, Like a shepherd lead me…..

I SHALL NOT WANT
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
My God shall provide all my needs according to His riches in Glory
If I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart (even more of Him!)

Do you get the idea? He gave me a few more hymns and spiritual songs to sing, along with other verses. We got through to the still waters (Be still and know that I am God, <well, I didn’t have much choice…I had to lie still!>). He ministered to me for the whole 1/2 hour …..all to comfort me, and to keep my mind on Him while they did the MRI.

Where ever, or when ever we find ourselves in need of comfort, He will meet us, and bring the word that we have hidden in our heart to comfort us. And, He even works in us to glorify His name! He is so Awesome!

May you dwell in the secret place of the Most High, and hide under the shadow of the Almighty……(Ps 91)

(written 2000 or before)

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #20 – watch for signs of dehydration

WE NEED WATER!!!
I laid out the seriousness of the need for water in my post “Water, Water, Water!”

I have trouble recognizing that I am losing water.
Oh, the sweat the pours off my body is an irritation, so I just wear a bandana to keep it out of my eyes!

Sweating is a good thing…it cleanses the body…but it also takes the water, AND electrolytes OUT of the body. And the body needs electrolytes and water to keep things in balance!
What are the signs? The University of Arkansas lists these signs:

MILD:

flushed face
very thirsty
weakness
headache
cramping in arms and legs
dry, warm skin(no sweating)
crying with few or no tears
dizziness
small amounts of dark yellow urine

We have been given the water of the Word to keep us hydrated….but here are symptoms of being dehydrated from the water of the word:

flushed face – easily embarrassed by your recent behavior. Ezra 9:6
very thirsty – seeking something – Isaiah 55:1
weakness – from no time in God’s presence – Psalm 6:2
headache – no peace from activities – Psalm 7:16
cramping in arms and legs – No strength to DO for God Eze 7:17
dry, warm skin(no sweating) – life has ebbed away Ez 37:2
crying with few or no tears – no remorse for sins – Eph 4:19
dizziness – playing in multiple playgrounds – James 1:8
small amounts of dark yellow urine – intensify sinful acts – Eph 5:3-5

If not taken care of…dehydration leads to death.

MODERATE TO SEVERE:

FAINTING
SEVERE MUSCLE CRAMPS
BLOATED STOMACH
DEEP AND RAPID BREATHING
POOR SKIN ELASTICITY
SUNKEN EYES
CONVULSIONS

Moderate to severe dehydration includes death. It is best to deal with dehydration when you see the early signs.

If Spiritual Dehydration is not taken care of…it can lead to spiritual death.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Suicide – what’s the deal?

If you have come to this page because you are contemplating suicide, please dial 988 or 1-800-273-TALK or visit the National Suicide Prevention LifeLine. Some other Suicide Hotlines are on this page.

The Theme from M*A*S*H*

I have loved this song for years…but now, as I am a recovering suicidal depressant – it gives me chills.

While finding this song on YouTube…I read a comment by a listener..”I’m going to play this when I commit suicide”.
Another suggested the ‘marilyn manson’ version….VERY CREEPY!!!

This song was played over and over and over while I was growing up.
I grew up with a bi-polar mother that attempted suicide on a regular basis.
My favorite uncle committed suicide when I was in the second grade…and the priest and my mom talked about he gave up, and took the one way ticket to heaven.
Another Great Aunt and Uncle committed murder-suicide because he didn’t want to watch her slowly die with cancer.
One month after my wedding, my mother finally succeeded in her desire to let go – and my aunt told me “she gave you a gift…and she knew you were safe now”.

What am I saying? I grew up surrounded with a level of comfort with suicide.

So, when I got married, things weren’t fairy tale perfect, and depression hit with five children under 6…chronic pain…and I couldn’t see any way out…I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.
When all I could see was how I was messing up everyone’s lives because of my PTSD, FMS, CFS, and multiple bone, joint, tendon and soft tissue issues (7 surgeries in 7 years)…I wanted to give my family a gift…and remove this burden(ME) from their lives.

Why didn’t I succeed? There are many thoughts about that…one is that except for 2 times, it was never really a suicide attempt…it was take 4 pain pills instead of 1, but I wanted to be dead. No, really, most of the time, I wanted to go to sleep, and wake up without the problems. I had suicidal tendencies, or ideations. So – should I have been left alone with my thoughts? Should my family have just called my bluff?

Well, what I feel led to share here is four types of suicidal thought…from my experience, in and out of hospitals and institutions and by talking with others with similar thought systems.

In my experience, there are at least four DIFFERENT types of suicidal thoughts:

Look at me – I’m being ignored.
I’ll show you – Revenge
I can’t take this anymore – Despair
I have no worth – I’m a burden to society

In my mind – ALL FOUR ARE DEADLY AND NOT TO BE IGNORED.
but the individual appears to NEED different things.

1. LOOK AT ME!!!!

This one is when someone feels ignored, alone, and wants to get attention. To deny that this is the case is to deny what so clearly has happened with video and letters that say “You didn’t love me enough” or “no one will miss me”.

This person is CRYING OUT FOR HELP!!!
They need to be pointed to a suicide help line, such as 1-800-273-TALK(8255)
This state of mind will not commit suicide while someone is with them.
Ignoring this person will only increase the odds that they WILL keep trying…because ignoring them fulfills the wrong thinking in their head.

2. I’ll show you/them!!!

This mindset scares me. I was told one time “I’ll show them, I’ll call *** and say “you think I’m suicidal” as I drive off the ***bridge”. This person talked about calling different people WHILE he took his own life…to show them…and I’m not sure what he was planning on showing them…that they were right? He was sick? or that they were wrong, that he was in control? The point is…NO ONE WINS in this mentality. The ones that a person is trying to “show” doesn’t lose as much as the one whose life is now gone!

This person needs to realize that the only way to show that someone is wrong, is to prove it with your life. The best revenge for those that are trying to tear you down is to take off and soar, and just wave at them from the clouds while you are soaring with the eagles!

This person is CRYING OUT FOR CLARITY!!!
They need to be pointed to a suicide help line, such as 1-800-273-TALK(8255)
I have no idea if this person will commit suicide while someone is with them…but there is something twisted in their view of getting even. This is for show of some sort.
I have no idea how to respond to this type of suicidal person…but turning their revenge into a healthy self support has to take place.

3. I can’t take it anymore – total despair.

I wrote a poem – “Depression like Driving Rain” – as I was struggling with some depression.

Folks get sad.
Some folks get S.A.D. – Seasonal Affective Disorder.
But this is Despair….Despair is much more than just being sad.

Despair – noun – loss of hope – hopelessness. To lose hope, to give up, to be without hope.

Despondent – adj. – feeling or showing profound hopelessness, dejection, discouragement, or gloom.

There is no hope of release…”all hope is lost”. In this mindset…there is no view to the future…it’s like a dark wet blanket that one cannot find the way out of, and the weight just continues to pull you down.

This person is CRYING OUT FOR HOPE!!!

This person needs to know that there is a tomorrow…reminded of all the tomorrows that have come and gone and are now yesterdays…and that all the stuff that was despairing actually dissipated, and life began again. This person needs someone to lift the blanket…and be shown that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and that they are not alone. This person needs a helping hand.

My Great aunt and uncle were these people…no hope in the face of cancer.
I have been this person, and having someone present to show that life will go on has turned me around.

This person will not commit suicide in the presence of someone else – because someone else present is the sign of hope that someone else will reach out and help.
This person could still benefit from calling or reading one of the help lines listed in this blog.
This person could benefit from just talking to a caring human being.

4. I have no worth – I’m a burden to society

This has been me. I have felt like I have no purpose on this earth other than to visit doctors and to break promises to my friends because some other health issue has arisen to prevent me from keeping my promises. One day I could walk a 5k, and the next I would be in a wheelchair at a field trip. One day I could sew a quilt and the next I couldn’t even touch the pedal to run the machine. One day I could cook a nice meal, and the next day I can’t even stand up to get something out of the refrigerator. That meant/means that my husband and my children have had to do things for me, housecleaning, cooking, activities, push my wheelchair, walk my dog, help me with baths and showers, tie my shoes, disappointed at broken promises.

I have failed as a mom, wife, mom and woman…and I can’t get SSI because of not being able to work so I have no Social Security benefits to help me with disability. Often I can’t even drive myself to the doctors office. My husband had to work from home for years so that he could be available to help me. We have lost money, houses and land to pay for the medical bills that have accrued to keep me alive, which irritates our children for lack of an inheritance. My husband has asked very few things from me as a wife…and because of disabilities, I can’t give him any of them with any consistency.

Of course, I’ve heard the complaints about taking care of me, or me not taking care of them, of my husband doing the wife’s work, and ‘wasting’ my husband’s money. I’ve had complaints that my issues make things too hard for others. I’ve been asked to leave a church because the lack of healing was causing people’s faith to fail. I am a burden to society.

Burden – that which is borne with difficulty.

My mother committed suicide because she knew that I would spend part of my married life trying to keep her alive. She didn’t follow her typical routine…this time, she was serious. This time, she wanted no mistakes. And as I said above…my aunt said to me “Your mother gave you a gift”. My mother did not want to be a burden on me in my marriage.

I did not want to be a burden in my children’s lives or in my husband’s life. I wanted to give them that gift…free them from the burden of this sick, mentally ill, physically depleted ball and chain.
I did call all the help lines…and some people…but no one had time to come to be with me.
I almost succeeded.

If it weren’t for the sheriff and the park ranger that drove past the car, and called the EMT’s – who somehow got this non responding, lifeless body to the ER, and then the ER docs that worked for several hours to bring me back…and the ICU nurses that watched over me…I would not be here.

I have memories of those that just didn’t care if I succeeded.
I have memories of those that accused me of doing it for attention.
I have memories of those I was trying to release being angry at me for doing this ‘to them’.
I have memories of thinking ‘ I better get it right next time, because this continued failure is causing the burden to grow!’
But what I didn’t have was the KNOW inside that NO ONE can determine my worth, other than me and my God.

A person that feels like they are a burden – and that the world is better off without them – and that they would lift all the bad things from their family if they were not there – this person needs LOVE.

This person is crying out for LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE.
This person cannot commit suicide in the presence of someone…because that would be adding to the burden in their life!
Responding to this person in anger only fans the fires of failure and incompetent burden.
This person needs unconditional love…no matter how broken they are.
This person needs to know that they have worth because they have life. You are not given worth by other people – you are born with it. The problem is, we let others take it away.

WHAT TURNED ME AROUND?

After 20 years of therapy…many thoughts…many counselors…somehow, somewhere something clicked.

I have always had a strong faith in Jesus Christ – but because of the church’s response to the suicides in my family, I wasn’t convinced that suicide ends up in a person going to hell. So, that didn’t do it.

One therapist shared a quote with me…and at this moment I cannot find it, but it made me aware that the very fact that I AM means that I have worth. She challenged my concept of the sanctity of life.

Do I consider life worth saving? Then why not mine?
Do I consider life worth living? then why not mine?
And – who do I believe gave life? God

How do I believe about the conception of a baby? God causes each conception, and every conception deserves life…therefore…why not me?
If God has not chosen to take my life, who am I to argue with Him? Job didn’t fare very well in his depressive, suicidal tirade, so why should I?

Psalm 23 has pulled me through…

yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me…thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

It has been a path..a rocky, rough path that has brought me to almost no thoughts of suicide. And now, when I hear of a suicide, I am saddened that someone who had a life to live did not or could not ask for help, or find the right person to hold their hand until they came out of the dark valley.

WHAT CAN SOMEONE DO TO HELP?

BE THERE.

How many suicides occur in the midst of a family gathering? I don’t think that any of them do.

I know that some are just asking for attention…but when a 2 year old acts out to get attention, do you just ignore them until they burn themselves with the matches? Of course not. When child is acting out, it’s usually because they need to have different attention to help them through this phase…and that is the same with someone that is talking suicide. You don’t give up on the 2 year old…please don’t give up on someone that is having a mental disconnect that could take their life.

I actually gave up many possible methods, because of how frequently they fail…and the person is worse off afterwards. If I fail, I’ll have crippled hands, or if the fall doesn’t kill me, I could have to be in a wheelchair with worse pain than I do now, etc. Share with this person information on Lost All Hope about statistics of failure.

Suicidal thinking is not REALITY based thinking…it is CATASTROPHIC thinking…and having someone with you, that is not reacting to the events with such a catastrophic outlook is a calming effect by itself.

PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SOMEONE THAT IS TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE!

PLEASE DO NOT CALL SOMEONE’S BLUFF.

PLEASE DO GET SOME HELP FROM SOME OF THESE WEBSITES TO HELP YOURSELF HELP SOMEONE YOU LOVE.

PsychCentral has some great help for those wanting to help, and those considering suicide.

Lost All Hope is an interesting point of view from another suicidal recoverer.

NAMI – National Alliance on Mental Illness has a page on how to help and how to recognize the signs.

I have not written this from a Christian, Biblical point of view…but I will be adding that feature here soon. The point is, all cultures have some level of sanctity of life…your life is sacred…it is a gift…and you are a gift. You have worth, because YOU ARE. To stop being means that you have wiped out the worth you were born with. Don’t let ‘THEM’ win.

~~~~~~~

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links:

Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
Billy Graham’s version of the Plan of salvation.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Naomi’s Heart Ministries
Obed’s House Ministries
The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #19 Water, Water, Water!

We need water!

San Francisco 1998 - a lovely moment watching water

On How Stuff Works, I asked, How much water is there on the earth?

There’s a whole lot of water on Earth! Something like 326,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons (326 million trillion gallons) of the stuff (roughly 1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 liters) can be found on our planet.

I wanted to know how much water makes up our bodies. At Wikipedia, I found out that:

In medicine, body water is 90 to 94 percent of the water content of the human body. A significant fraction of the human body is water.

The University of Arkansas provided this summary about the importance of water:

You can live as long as six weeks without food, but you couldn’t survive more than a week without water. Water or fluids that contain water fill virtually every cell and the spaces between them in the body. Water accounts for approximately 60 to 70 percent of the total body weight in a normal adult, making it the most abundant constituent of the human body. In terms of volume, the total body water in a man of average weight (70 kg or 154 lbs) is roughly 40 L (10.6 gallons).

Of course, as with any science, they differ with the previous amount that makes up our bodies – from 90 – 94 %(which did seem a bit high) to 60 – 70%. I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but between 60 and 94% of our body is made up of water!

Author note: The University of Arkansas article, Water-Drink Up is excellent info on the importance of water – during all of this heat, please read this and be careful!

aT A yAHOO Answer spot, I got this wonderful breakdown of our body’s make up!

Here is a summary of the common molecules found in humans:

Molecule……….Mass %…Molecule %
Water…………….65% ………98.73 %
Other Inorganic…1.5% …..0.74 %
Lipid………………12% ……….0.475 %
Other Organic….0.4% …….0.044 %
Protein…………..20% ……….0.011 %
RNA………………1.0% …….3 x 10-5 %
DNA………………0.1% …….3 x 10-11 %

By weight, we are 65% water, 20% protein, 12% fats, and a few incidentals on top of that. By number of molecules, we are pretty much entirely water.

Of course there’s individual variation, but the bigger factor is exactly what you are counting and how – by molecule count, there’s less than 2% difference between a person and a glass of water!

Symptoms of Dehydration –

Dehydration symptoms generally become noticeable after 2% of one’s normal water volume has been lost. Initially, one experiences thirst and discomfort, possibly along with loss of appetite and dry skin. This can be followed by constipation. Athletes may suffer a loss of performance of up to 30%^[6] and experience flushing, low endurance, rapid heart rates, elevated body temperatures, and rapid onset of fatigue.

I did find the seriousness of dehydration.

Untreated severe dehydration may result in seizures, permanent brain damage, or death.

WATER = LIFE

It is nice that there are many, many places that will tell you how much water you need to drink, and most of them are selling water filters! The point? Clean water is BEST!

On the Clean Water Blog, there is a summary of the historical effects on water.

For Homeschoolers!!!Exploring the Environment has a quick read on the importance of clean water, and may have study unit of the hydrosphere.

Many of the world organizations, and the missionary organizations go in to a place, and the first thing is to provide drinking water. Even one of our favorite charities, Compassion, has a program to provide clean water, and many articles about how clean water has ministered to the communities in which Compassion serves.

WATER = LIFE

There is so much to write about, when writing about water. Importance, cleanliness, wonderful aspects, and the ability to take it for granted.

I have been VERY guilty of taking water for granted.

A few years ago, I became electrolyte imbalanced because of performing a practice sprint Triathlon. I didn’t do it for time, I did it for completion so I had time to take care of things. I was maintaining track of my blood glucose. I was drinking 1- 20 oz. G2 between each event in an attempt to replace electrolytes and water. Apparently, something got messed up, because after completing this mini triathlonI just wasn’t ‘right’. Because we didn’t know the dangers of a diabetic over exerting in exercise, and the ease at which electrolytes can be washed out of a system…I crashed. The beautiful water that was sustaining me had poured out of my pores, and pulled potassium, calcium, phosphorus and other important elements out of my system. I became suicidally depressed and almost lost my life. I spent several days in ICU with IV electrolytes and bags of water being pumped into my body.

WATER = LIFE

Compassion International – Water of Life from Compassion International on Vimeo.

This will be a multi part post….This is the importance of water. And, if YOU have access to clean water, Thank God, and Praise Him! And consider helping someone else who does not.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #18 – Stop and smell the roses

smell the roses

I was reminded today of a post I wrote about embracing minimalism.

I had started a series at the beginning of the year called the First 100 days.
I was not able to keep up with a blog a day for 100 days. I need to go back and count how many of that series I DID get written.
I quit, because I couldn’t keep up,
I couldn’t keep up because I did not plan well enough for expected events.
The expected events had to do with minimalizing our life!
Very possibly, I should have MINIMALIZED my expectations of being able to write, even while packing(expected), physical therapy(unexpected), and travel(very happy event!).

In the post, The First 100 days – day 63….I wrote about minimalism. I quoted froma book, and recommended a blog post, A Short Guide to Consumer Disobedience..
I seriously need to read that specific blog EVERY DAY.

What does this have to do with stop and smell the roses? Sometimes in our lives, God gives us roses…and we look at them, nod, maybe even take a whiff, but we don’t go back and enjoy them. Days or weeks later, we walk by and notice that all the roses are gone, and wilted, and we wonder about the time we lost. We didn’t lose time, we gave it to something else…not the roses.

A dear friend, Trisch, reminisced about her daughters growing up in her blog “They Grow Up To Fast”. Our children, our relationships and our faith are roses, flowers in our garden of life, and we need to remember, that while we walk along, we need to take time to stop and smell the roses!

Drink from the flowers

I referenced another of Francine Jay’s blogs, “The Year of the Butterfly”.

The small butterfly
moves as though unburdened by
the world of desire

-Haiku by Kobayashi Issa
Today marks the first day of the Chinese New Year, which according to their lunar calendar is the Year of the Rabbit.

Well, I’d like to propose a special New Year for us minimalists: let’s make this the Year of the Butterfly.

Because I was ‘rushing ahead’ on my walk…writing down plenty of stuff about how I am growing…I had missed one of the roses God had given me at the beginning of the year.

“The year of the Butterfly”

A year, where the caterpillar turns into a beautiful Butterfly.
Her reference to her own book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide is a beautiful explaination of being a butterfly in the area of caring for the earth:

“As minsumers, we want to do the opposite. Instead of being bulls, we strive to be butterflies—living as lightly, gracefully, and beautifully as possible. We want to flit through life with little baggage, unencumbered by excess stuff. We want to leave the Earth and its resources whole and intact, as if we alighted just for a moment and barely touched them.”

I find this concept very much in keeping with the Genesis command to care for the earth in Genesis 1&2. In fact, the Bible sort of implies that God created man to till the earth….
Gen 2:5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and [there was] not a man to till the ground.
Gen 2:7 And the LORD God formed man [of] the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.

Chief Seattle said “Take only memories, leave only footprints”

As we walk along our path, we have a responsibility to care for what has been given us.
Sometimes, it’s people, and the relationships we have with them
Sometimes it’s beauty – like a rose or a butterfly.
Sometimes it’s wisdom – written in a blog that touches your heart.

This year is not over – so even though I forgot my commitment to make it the Year of the Butterfly…I still have time.
In addition to time before me, I have changed over this year, and I now choose to work on being more like that Butterfly!
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.