Monthly Archives: December 2011

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #35 Looking toward the goal

From where I’m standing
Lord it’s so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You’re leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can’t control

This song really makes it clear that when we look at our current circumstances we rarely can see our future clearly.

Ruth “Bunny” Graham wrote a book:
Fear Not Tomorrow, for God is already there.

Casting Crowns:

When I’m lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You’re already there
You’re already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You’re already there
You’re already there

When I think about my tomorrows, I wonder what I’m going to do, and will I be prepared, will I be happy there, will there be others there with me. Wondering is one thing, but fearing is another. wondering can lead to anxiousness, which is stress, and can lead to fear.

Nothing is going to happen to me that the Lord and I can’t handle. ~AA

The will of God will not lead me to a place where the grace of God cannot protect me.~Folk wisdom

Casting Crowns:

From where You’re standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan
When I’m lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You’re already there
You’re already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You’re already there
You’re already there

This is all about God’s sovereignty…Everything that happens to me has to go through HIS hand. No need to fear.  So, why plan? Because, we don’t know the hour or the time for His return, and we must work while it is night, until the morning light.

So, looking toward the goal –

Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

This is my whole purpose in life…to press on toward the prize.

1 Cor 9:24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.

Heb 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

As I press on towards the goal, I can rest that Jesus is already there, and will not be surprised by anything, but is waiting for me with open arms. And when this life is over, we will look back together, and HE will show me the great masterpiece that HE has created.  I just have to make sure to keep headed in the right direction!

~Casting Crowns

One day I’ll stand before You
And look back on the life I’ve lived
I can’t wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit [x2]

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps #34 – Prayer to be a light on my Path

This blog is not so much what I’ve been learning as it is a prayer to practice what I’ve been learning.  In one week, 12/29/2011, I will have Achilles tendon surgery, with some bone deformities repaired and many spurs removed.

There is an insurance issue. Someone changed our insurance policy – causing us to supposedly need to pay 1000 deductible(and ‘only’ 200 has been met…totally bogus) and 10% of the surgery. On 9/27 and 11/2, surgeries were covered 100% – but, a person, somewhere, did something…and we are having trouble THIS WEEK getting things approved for next week. Christmas is Sunday and no one will be at work tomorrow or Monday. New Years is coming…and with that, a new program with higher deductibles.

I’m sure anyone can imagine what stress that adds to getting together with family. And we have an additional family member attending our weekend that is especially caustic.

A dear friend shared Rom 15:13 with me…

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

it goes nicely with Phil 4:7 –

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I have been battling down fear for this 12 week situation – 8 in which I am non weight bearing(cannot walk)…and I guess the enemy has not enjoyed the fact that I have been in victory over this, and has been throwing all sorts of things in my path. I have stumbled. I have fallen.
But Ps 37:24 says

Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth [him with] his hand.

I am trying to hold onto Is 41:10 and 13

Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

Victory is mine – in the Lord, and I know

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.(Phil 4:13)

My desire is to

Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That (I) may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom (I) shine as lights in the world;(Phil 2:14-15)

Hebrews 11:1 reminds me that

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Just because I cannot see the manifestation of my faith in this situation, does not mean that God isn’t working in me.
I will always be in a battle – until the day I see HIM face to face…but in the mean time, I need to dwell in the secret place that is so eloquently described in Ps 23.

So, what is my prayer request?

  • That I will hold fast to the truth,
  • that I will stand fast in the Word of God,
  • that I will be a light shining on a hill to all in the next week, and in the 12 weeks that follow.
  • I pray that the joy of the Lord will be my strength(more specifically,
  • that I will run into the name of the Lord, that strong tower,
  • and absorb that joy that is in His presence, and be strong), and
  • that the Prince of Peace will reign in my heart in the midst of the storms swirling around me.
  • I pray that I will hear HIS voice saying – PEACE, BE STILL –
  • and that I will instantly obey.

Total healing would be great, too…but, I have no problem believing for that.

It’s for my walk with the Lord that I am asking for prayer – and not just that, it’s that my life will shine to all who meet me. I can get so self focused when I am in pain, and I want to be a blessing to those that help, serve, and care for me.

This is my prayer.

I hope that these songs bless you, as the Word of God will bless you – in the midst of storms. I pray that I will dance in the midst of the storms.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

There Are Giants in my Land – part four

I’m so confused about numbering this series. This is the fourth time I’ve written about this, but this is the third giant I’m talking about.
First I talked about giants,
then the giant of fear,
and then the giant of depression.

The next giant that I’ve had to battle is the giant of bitterness. Actually, that is the giant’s sugarcoated name. The real name is unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is a party giant.
If you are living with the giant of fear, and someone has caused that fear, un-forgiveness comes along to party with.
If you are living with the giant of depression, and you are hurt by a lack of compassion, un-forgiveness comes along to celebrate.
If you’re living with the giant of anger, and you feel misunderstood, unforgiveness comes along to stir the pot.
Unforgiveness is the last one to leave the party, really enjoying the pity parties in particular!

But as Christians we don’t like to say that we struggle with unforgiveness, because that’s the big thing that Christians do, forgive! But if we hold on to irritations, frustrations, aggravations, and stir those up in the pot of our hearts, we call that bitterness.

Mark 11.25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

“when you stand praying, forgive, if you have odds against any.” That sounds like part of the Lord’s prayer.

Luke 11.4 Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.

The key isn’t it asking God to forgive us, but rather for us to forgive others.

Mark 11.25–26 that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

In everyone’s life there is something that seems to be unforgivable. This last week I watched the movie for the second time entitled “Amish Grace.”

When a gunman killed five Amish children and injured five others in a Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania schoolhouse shooting in October of 2006, the world media attention rapidly turned from the tragic events to the extraordinary forgiveness demonstrated by the Amish community. Through the eyes of a grieving mother, Ida Graber, and other devastated families, this movie explores the Amish’s astonishing reaction to the horrific shootings – of forgiveness and compassion.

A quote by Gideon Graber, “Hate is a very big, very hungry thing… with lots of sharp teeth. It will eat up your whole heart, and leave no room left for love.”

The only reason to not forgive is because of a lack of love. The opposite of love is hate or indifference.

!!!I need to get this book so that I can use it for the quotation!!!
Or I need to watch the movie again – pointing out that unforgiveness is a giant that I need to keep being reminded to take down!

Forgiveness is a choice.
This Giant is HUGE!
I started this post back in September or October, and I am closing it up(not finishing, you understand) on 12/21/2011.

Unforgiveness is a daily giant that at times it presents itself as a little imp…
self protection – “I don’t deserve to be treated that way”
boundaries – “he’s in my space, he’s not respecting my boundaries”
energy drainer – “I just don’t have it in me to keep letting this go”

The big things, anger, greed, jealousy – those are easier to see, and recognize the unforgiveness that hangs around after the fact.

To take down this giant, I am trying to recognize times that I make excuses to NOT let go of an irritation.
My goal is that I will stand in a mindset of forgiveness – so that irritations will not be an issue. Impossible you say? Maybe true, but aiming for the goal of Christ keeps me moving forward in living more and more like HIM.

He is my example of forgiveness:

Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.(Luke 23:34)

Out of Christ’s HUGE love, He forgave me of my HUGE debt – and for that, I am eternally grateful!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #33 – Remember from whence ye came

I have spent quite a bit of time these last weeks looking back.

Memories – light the corners of my mind…misty watercolored memories – of the way we were.

I spend the end of the year looking back on the year – and often, it’s about what did I do and what didn’t I do and who did I hurt and did I make that as right as I could.
This can lead to depression – and yet, I do think it’s a biblical principle. And as with most principles, it’s about the purpose.

Ps 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

In Barbara’s song, there’s a bit of self deprecation:

Can it be that we were all so simple then?
Or has time rewritten every line?

Memories –
may be beautiful and yet
what’s too painful to remember
we simple choose to forget

God has written down every line of our lives. He has every word written down(Rom 2:16; . We will be judged by our actions(Matt 16:27)…
UNLESS –
unless we recognize our sin – and from whence we came!
We were sinners – and we are saved by grace!(Eph 2:5)
We are sinners – and we have an advocate with the Father!(1 John2:1)
We are sinners – and there are two ways to rewrite our history:
We can choose to forget – and rewrite it by lying to ourselves OR
We can choose to take it to the Father, through Jesus Christ – and have our sins washed away, as far as the east is from the west, NEVER TO BE REMEMBERED ANYMORE!

Ps 103:8 The LORD [is] merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
:9 He will not always chide: neither will he keep [his anger] for ever.
:10 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
:11 For as the heaven is high above the earth, [so] great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
:12 As far as the east is from the west, [so] far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

So, when I look back over the year, I have to remember, from whence I came –
I came out of darkness – into Christ’s glorious light.
God knows I’m but dust (Ps 103:14) – and HE has chosen to work with my weakness to show himself strong!
So, look back, repent, and turn…learn the lessons of last year, and start over!

Casting Crowns – You’re Already There!

Happy New Year – every day!

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

M. Christine Wildman“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.