Monthly Archives: May 2012

28 Days of Grace day 3

Take a little wine for your stomach

1 Tim 5:23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.

Yesterday, I was reading about the GAPS diet.
One of the differences between the GAPS diet and the YEAST FREE diet is the fermented items in the Introduction Diet…

“Increase daily amount of homemade yogurt and kefir, if introduced. Increase the amount of juice from sauerkraut, fermented vegetables or vegetable medley.”

Dr McManus warned me that the GAPS diet was MUCH more strict than the Yeast Free diet I am on, but the principles are the same:
Heal the Gut so that the Body can be nourished.

Paul’s exhortation to Timothy may very well have been to avoid the water….as in Montezuma’s Revenge…and drink fermented grape juice(what wine was back then). The goal was to help Timothy be healed so that he could be used for God’s glory.

verse 22 says:

Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself pure.

verses 24-25 say:

Some men’s sins are open beforehand, going before to judgment; and some [men] they follow after.
Likewise also the good works [of some] are manifest beforehand; and they that are otherwise cannot be hid.

It’s as if, in the middle of exhorting Timothy in his ministry, Paul remembered and just said, “Oh, by the way – stop drinking that water, dude! Drink some wine and heal that stomach so that you can get over all these infirmities! We gotta get you better, man!”

I was asking God yesterday, after the whole discussion about Peter getting out of the boat, should I ask you to ask me to get out of the boat?

now, understand, I had an hour drive…and I use this time to listen to the Lord…so, He had time to deal with me!

I could hear a faint ‘yes…..here I am’
I didn’t want to ask…
I didn’t want to hear “come”.
I knew what getting out of the boat meant…
It meant moving ahead with the art and writing!
It meant challenges to face,
It meant scary opportunities,
…people saying no…
believing for funds and helpers and provisions and ideas and HEALTH!!!

I finally got quiet…
“If it’s you Lord….”
‘YOU ARE ALREADY OUT OF THE BOAT – STOP LOOKING AT THE STORMS!”

WHAT???? When did I get out of the boat?
“when you signed the lease to the studio! STOP LOOKING AT THE STORMS!”

WHAT???
“When you said you trusted me with your whole heart, now STOP LOOKING AT THE STORMS!”

Stop Looking at the storms – WHY?
THEY ARE MAKING ME SICK!!!
…WITH WORRY
…WITH FEAR
…they are paralyzing me!
…they are preventing me from moving forward to do the work that God has prepared beforehand that I should walk in them! (Eph 2:10)

What about the wine?????

Psalm 4:7 Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time [that] their corn and their wine increased.

Then, HE reminded me of this verse:

Isiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

The point is, I have a job to do, I have good works that I am supposed to be doing so that God would be glorified. I have words that God has placed in my heart that need to be shared…
I’m NOT Christ, but I am CHRISTI, AND:

The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me;
because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek;
he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all that mourn;
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion,
to give unto them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they might be called trees of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD,
that he might be glorified.
Isaiah 61:1-3

I’m already out of the boat – it’s my old nature that is looking around at that storm…
DRINK NO LONGER WATER – don’t pay attention to the things of this world…they are NOT PURE!
TAKE A LITTLE WINE FOR YOUR STOMACH – get your body healthy, with what I say!
AND FOR YOUR OFT INFIRMITIES – One preacher defined infirmities as those things that constantly come up and we constantly struggle with.
Mine is fear.
Lack of self confidence, even in my ability to hear the voice of the Lord.

Matt 26:27-28 And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave [it] to them, saying, Drink ye all of it;
For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.

The woman at the well asked Jesus for the Living Water, from which one would never thirst.(John 4:10ff)

Here is His reply:

John 14:14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.

My Father has provided, by His grace, a physical program to heal my stomach and gut. I need to follow it.
My Father, through Jesus Christ, has provided cleansing for my sins, and living water, pure and alive, for my ability to do HIS WILL to HIS GLORY.
I need to drink of HIS wine daily. I need to drink ALL OF IT!

I need to remember that sin is all around me, and always needing to be dealt with,
but in the middle of the storms of life,
God has provided me with PURE WATER – Water that HE turned to WINE by HIS BLOOD at the cross.

In a way, I need to give up my whine for HIS WINE…and drink freely from the fountain of living water!
And HE has provided the strength by HIS grace!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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28 days of Grace, day 2

Hungry and weak.
Yesterday, I ate what I was supposed to, and now its time to eat.
It’s been over 12 hours.
I could ignore this, and get weaker, our fill myself with junk to just get by, but then I would get weak in other ways.

I remember a church sign:
Seven days without prayer makes one weak.

Why its it that the good, better and even the best things for us take so much more work than those that would destroy us?

I have wanted to do my best for the Lord.
I would be satisfied, though not totally content, to just do better for the Lord.
Unfortunately, I don’t always do GOOD for the Lord.

Today, a friend of mine’s message about a message she was listening to at a conference really hit home:

“How to do the Impossible” based on Matthew 14 – Jesus walking on the water…actually Peter walking on the water.

1. Ask for something impossible – ask specifically. Peter was the only water walker because he asked.

2. Get your eyes off the storm. Your circumstances will always sink you. Do not lean on your own understanding.

3. Get rid of plan B. You must get rid of your comfort zone and completely trust God.

4. Get out of the boat. Take the step of faith.

David Gibbs gave this message and he told the story of a black pastor friend of his who asked God for the impossible: that he would win at least 1 person to Christ every day for the rest of his life. He is a terrible at witnessing. He shakes and gets his words all messed up, but God has honored this request because he asked and it was for God’s glory. David told the story of how he watched him do this one night when they were traveling together. 3 AM stop to get gas and food at a mini mart…the pastor was on his “soul watch” for that day he said. They went into the minimart and he asked the girl behind the counter. “Do you want to die tonight?….She looked pretty scared (black man and a big man had a pile of goodies on the counter)..I mean if you were to die tonight do you know if you would go to heaven?…She reached under the counter….and pulled out a Bible. Yes she was saved…not the one…but suddenly another woman appeared in the line behind them and said I don’t know…she had her story…and then two men walked in and one said I don’t know either…They knelt and prayed right there in the mini-mart. ….The black pastor would say: .”I’m not good at this. I get it all messed up, but God saves these people through me because I asked.”

Why are we wasting our time trying to do great things for God when God wants us to do the impossible. It will never be a good time to do the impossible because it is impossible. What do you want to do for God’s glory that is impossible?

Food for thought.

Cathie(Boulden)

I have always loved the story about Peter walking on the water.
Psalm 23 is my favorite go to section of the Bible, but Peter walking on the water has so many more truths that has also touched my heart and life over the last 43 years.
There is a song, “If you wanna walk on water, you gotta get out of the boat”
I can’t find it anywhere….but, here is a great song that fits in this instance:

So, fear is a giant….are insecurities little giants?
Why don’t I expect to do the impossible?
Forget impossible…I’m struggling to believe to do the great, or the better!

I am doing this yeast free program for the Lord.
My body is in it’s current shape because for so many years, I used food as my comfort and hiding place, instead of the Lord.

Over a year ago, I posted a blog “Burn That Fat”
It was part of my 100 days attempt at the beginning of 2011. It is day 23!
I am in 2012, almost beginning month 6!!!
I know that my fat is something that has to be taken care of, in order for me to be physically able to do better and best for the Lord.

And I feel like losing this fat is IMPOSSIBLE!

I started THIS BLOG with saying:

Hungry and weak.
Yesterday, I ate what I was supposed to, and now its time to eat.

I remember a church sign:
Seven days without prayer makes one weak.

Here is today’s breakfast:

2 eggs and Sweet Potato

In addition, I need to eat daily of the word of God in order to be strong enough to tackle the giants that will arise through this program.
And the Bible feast today was Matthew 14:28-29
And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

I need to eat food, the RIGHT food at specific times of the day so that I do not get weak.
That fits, whether the food is physical OR spiritual!
And I need to ask Jesus to come, and help me walk this path!

Now I go to plan the rest of the day, and the rest of my meals…and I have to eat out for lunch…so, I am going to report back later about how that worked out!

End of Day Report:

salad day2

Salad, remove croutons, lemons and oil for dressing


picnic supper

YF meat wrapped around green with V8

I ate a lunch at home before leaving for my lunch meet up, and just purchased salad, with olive oil, and used lemons from the ice tea counter with the oo for my dressing.

My lunch at home was actually eating the right things while I packed up a supper picnic for Jim and I! I had roast beef, snap peas, and my snack/fat was olives!

I needed to wait for Jim to get there, so I went to McD’s and got the $1 unsweet iced tea, and used the free wifi!

Picnic Supper – well, yf lunch meat per the yf diet manual wrapped around lettuce and snap peas, some cherry tomatoes, and a V8 low sodium.

Oh, I forgot to add that I made ‘bone broth’ from the chicken I cooked yesterday! Tomorrow, I’ll have that broth for lunch!
I did have a refill of that unsweet iced tea…but even so, I sure feel good about today!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

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Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

28 days of Grace – day 1

This morning, I went to get blood drawn…and before I even got to eat, I was confronted with temptation.
TRIAL/TEMPTATION #1
Fear.
I have written before about the giants that tend to attack me, and one that I wrote about is the giant of fear.

In that blog, I said this:

Another of my favorite verses about fear is this:

2 Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

When someone is standing up to the giant of fear, 2Tim 1.7 is the perfect stone to throw. What fears are not covered by power, love, and a sound mind?

This morning, I wrote my dear husband Jim and said
“I’m scared of failing or quitting”
Jim replied:
“You have not quit, therefore you won’t fail”

smart man.
love, power and a sound mind. I talk about it in that blog…but,
Jim’s text back to me gave me love.
The music that Jim had uploaded to my phone gave me power….Here I am to Worship
And with that love and power, I gathered myself up, and trusted in a sound mind!

I was able to pack my little cooler(I bought a cute one) with a breakfast, and head out to my blood letting session.

TRIAL/TEMPTATION #2 –
ENVIRONMENT – or location, location, location!
The corner of 6 Pines Drive and Research Forest is a very favorite place for me. In fact, I have used this medical building’s parking lot frequently!
Let me show you!

The Temptation!

See the hint?

There's one of my tables...Culver's!

No, not the butter burgers…the Turtle Sundae!!! Chocolate, Caramel and Pecans on top of frozen custard. NOT on a yeast free diet!

1 Cor 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:
but God [is] faithful,
who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able;
but will with the temptation also make a way to escape,
that ye may be able to bear [it].

God is faithful.

Amy Charmical, in Edges of His Ways, May 26th writes this:

The pressure of temptation is measured by One who knows what the substance to be tested can stand. The maker of glass would not subject his glass to a weight of 20 tons per square inch. Here lies our comfort. We commit our souls “as unto a faithful Creator. (1Pet 4:19)”
And there is more in this. Sometimes we are tempted to feel that even though the pressure would be nothing to another who is stronger, it is too much for us. But it never is: “He knoweth our frame; He remembereth we are dust. (Ps 103:14)”
The temptation to yield and do what the flesh would naturally do is meant to offer us an opportunity for endurance, and for the exercise of faith. This ‘is the patience and the faith of the saints. (Rev 13:10)”

As I read this the other night, it hit me…it’s not the trial or temptation that is too much…is whether I will choose to endure, whether I will choose to exercise my faith.
My Heavenly Father chooses tests for me that HE KNOWS are not to much for me. Because HE LOVES ME!
He is giving me the opportunity to exercise my faith muscles. Because HE LOVES ME!
I am in the position to CHOOSE whether I will exercise those faith muscles.
BTW, where did that faith come from? My Heavenly Father!

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:

Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think [of himself] more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

My Heavenly Father has given me the measure of faith, and with it, if I exercise it, I can move mountains, I can do the deeds of Christ, and even greater deeds (Matt 21:21, John 14:12)! Of know credit to myself…it’s ALL God’s power….given to me by GRACE!

So, first, God so LOVEd me that HE led me to this reading BEFORE I entered temptation!
Then, God gave me the grace to have the POWER to withstand temptation!
And, He promised to make a way of escape( 1 cor 10:13)…He gave me the STRONG MIND to prepare my breakfast and take it with me!

Let me show you the victory!

No milkshake for me!

 

Roast Turkey for my protein!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRIAL/TEMPTATION #3
LACK OF PREPARATION
I forgot a drink, but I had a bottle of water in the car….not quite enough!
So, here’s my third TEMPTATION and VICTORY!

I forgot a drink!

so many temptations here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the price is right...$1!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VICTORY!!!

LARGE UNSWEET ICED TEA!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s only noon, and I’ve had two trials, but I’ve also had two victories.
I’ve spent an hour writing this photo blog…and that has challenged me.
I give up on getting the photos straight, and the words right…I just want to post this blog…share my thoughts…and go paint.
In the mean time, I am going to be leaning heavily on God’s GRACE to help me through the next 28 days.

5pm add on – today has been great.
The concern about workout recovery was answered with coconut milk!!! Better than anything else I’ve ever done to try to handle the crash when I perspire a lot!
I am behind on my water, but have had unsweetened ice tea twice.
After supper, I’ll do my evening protocols, and day one will be over!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.

We have email subscription! Just sign up for an account, and you can manage your subscription from the dashboard!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

28 days of grace, day 0

Tomorrow I start a 28 day yeast free diet designed by a medical doctor that is also a naturopath.

This is to cleanse my body of toxins from unhealthy living as well as UN health.

As I start this journey, I can’t help but wonder what spiritual parallels will come to light.

So far I am learning that any journey takes preparation and counting the cost. In addition, I need to learn to say no to things that are not good for my body, like a specially made carrot cake or cool whip chocolate pie.

Commitment is always strongest at the beginning, and I have already eaten some sugary things for which I’ve paid a tummy price.

Tomorrow is bloodwork, and the first day of the rest of my life.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.

We have email subscription! Just sign up for an account, and you can manage your subscription from the dashboard!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

I believe

I
I believe
I believe God
I believe God is
I believe God is big
I believe God is big enough
I believe God is big enough to use
Me!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.

We have email subscription! Just sign up for an account, and you can manage your subscription from the dashboard!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Day 21 of Psalms and Proverbs 5/21/2012

Psalm 111:10 ESVThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
His praise endures forever!

The fear of the Lord is not obtained once, and then done! It is to be practiced!
I have felt like a failure when I have not “naturally” chosen the way of the Lord.
It doesn’t make me a failure…it just indicates my natural state won.
I have to practice the fear of the Lord!

  • Practice
  • Exercise
  • Choose

It’s a daily exercise.
With practice, it becomes easier.
And sometimes, choosing the fear/way of the Lord becomes the new nature!
With practice, I create new habits!
I am not a failure, I am a work in progress!

My husband, Jim, loves to do weight lifting.
He started out pretty strong, but as he daily practices his workouts, he has gotten his three main exercises over 300 pounds each.
That didn’t happen the first day, it happened by practicing.

We can know when we have stopped our practice sessions!
Something is missing!
Is your joy missing?
When my joy is missing, I know its because my position with God has changed.
My fellowship has changed.

Psalm 51 is the Old Testament ‘sinners prayer’.
Within the prayer I hear David begging to get back into fellowship with God.
That is the focus for repenting of sin!
Repairing the breach between us and God!

Ps51.7.ESV Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

The previous verse shows the ‘how’ of repentance:

Ps51.6.ESV Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,

With that truth in the inward being, God promises to give us something very special:

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

When Jim has not done his weight training exercises, his muscles ache.
He starts to crave going to the gym to work out.
That is a learned response…from the practice of working out.
It’s not ‘natural’ for a body to want to exert energy, endure momentary pain, to reach a goal.
But because of Jim’s practice, he is moving forward, and now, his NEW natural is to desire to workout!

With a pure heart – we can cry out to the Lord for help….based on WHO HE IS!

Psalm 51:1 Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!

HE knows we are going to ‘fail’…but HE has made a way for us not to become ‘failures’!

Jim talks about learning to fail safely.
Because one has to take risks to increase the weight, one needs to know how to bail and not get hurt.
It is all part of the practice!
Jim has found people that have helped him learn methods to fail gracefully!
And each time we practice and fail, that is one way we don’t have to fail again, later!

We can ask God to help us practice! If we ask!

“Psalm 141:1ESV O Lord, I call upon you; hasten to me!

Give ear to my voice when I call to you!
Let my prayer be counted as incense before you,
and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice!

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
keep watch over the door of my lips!

Do not let my heart incline to any evil,
to busy myself with wicked deeds
in company with men who work iniquity,
and let me not eat of their delicacies!

Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head;
let my head not refuse it.

Jim has told me that he has to fight sometimes to go to the gym in the morning.
The bed cries out to him “stay”!
He has to draw on his practice and choose to get up, and take his flesh in hand, and go do the work.
Sometimes, I have reminded him that he wanted to go.
He doesn’t always take that well – but he always thanks me when he comes back.

Likewise, if we want to practice the fear of the Lord, we have to be willing to crucify OUR flesh, and IF we need a ‘wake up call’ – to be thankful, and not refuse it!

For His help in guiding us along the way – delivering us from the Egypt of our sin, Our God requires that we worship HIM and only Him:

MY/our GOD IS A JEALOUS GOD…He wants to be MY/our all….

Ps81.9.ESV
“There shall be no strange god among you; you shall not bow down to a foreign god.
I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.”

AND I GIVE HIM my all…it is foolishness to those who don’t know Him…but to us who know HIM, it is life!
But for the filling of my heart from the fountain of God…it is worth it!

For Jim, that next five pounds, the ache of having worked out, that recognition that he has steadily moved forward, even in the face of injuries, trials, and struggles, he is energized. For clarity, Jim does not worship working out and weight training. He does this to keep his body strong as the temple of the Holy Ghost.
The Bible does use exercise as an analogy for our walk with God – as in running a race.
It’s not who gets there first, it’s who keeps on trodding along and makes it to the finish line!

Proverb 21 has a few verses that combine this thought all together:

Prov21.2.ESV Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
but the Lord weighs the heart.

To do righteousness and justice
is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness
will find life, righteousness, and honor.

Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue
keeps himself out of trouble.

I want to live my life to glorify God.
I want to know the fear of the Lord, and to walk in His wisdom.
I am amazed how often, reading the same ol’ verses brings a new light for a new day.
Reading the Bible daily – practicing the fear of the Lord!
Now, where is that one pound dumbell????

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.

We have email subscription! Just sign up for an account, and you can manage your subscription from the dashboard!
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Hopefully it’s a new day

For anyone that is subscribed, we are trying to upgrade this blog.

This is an attempt to see if the email subscription widget works.

please bear with us….of course, we could do this on a non live blog, but this is so much more fun!

~Christi

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My response in Light of a 13 yo’s suicide in MN

A post I wrote on May 10, 2012, in response to hearing of a young girl’s suicide – and complaints that no one did enough:

I survived a suicide attempt…I was considered dead at the scene(beyond non-responsive)…and God revived me…in the ER on 11/17/2009
I know what goes on inside the mind of one that does this….
I did everything I could to prevent it from happening to my mom
I did everything I could to keep Anna from succeeding (can we spell familiar spirit????)
And, yes, those around me missed some things, but I kept them hidden.
Those around me were tired…and made a few missteps…but, in their minds, they did everything they were able to do –
My voices were voices from the past…doubled by some ‘bullying’ in the present…but mostly, my voices in my head were voices I’d believed, and had internalized…and any external voice just made the internal voice scream louder, and validated that internal voice.

No, those dealing with this precious child probably didn’t do ‘everything’ they could…because they probably could not conceive of what goes on inside a head that REALLY believes that suicide is the only way. But, they may have done ALL that they knew to do.

I have had to forgive those that were not able to hold my hand and pull me up from the sinking sand that sucked me into suicide that day.

I have had to forgive myself for thinking that my mom had gotten over her voices. I have had to thank God that Anna never succeeded, and yet, I’ve had to forgive myself for whatever brought things to that point(I know some of them now, and each time I learn of something new, I go through horrible grief, and have to take it to the Lord again).

Bullying will never stop…though it needs to be dealt with. The battle is to strengthen the minds and hearts of these wounded ones, so that they have an armor against the attacks of the enemy!

I think I’m supposed to be speaking to people about this…and the death of this child has stirred up an urgency in my heart.
I will be preparing my talks ASAP – and I pray that I will have an audience – and if I can save ONE from suicide…then, I know that my life has had purpose in Jesus.

Praying…praying, praying…..
~Christi

5/16/2012 – once the mind is made up to commit suicide, it is too late, unless the person is placed into a mental hospital that will protect them while helping them get past that mental state. There is nowhere safe enough to prevent a suicide, other than those places created to do just that.

I don’t know all the details about this young person, except that she was apparently at home, doing normal family things and walked out of the room with the family, and went to her bedroom and hung herself. At what point could the family have intervened? I don’t know…Once the hopelessness takes over, then the plan to protect others from having to listen to you anymore sets in, and then, the hiding, and the secrecy takes over….and unless someone can read minds, it is probably too late.

The time to intervene is MUCH earlier…IF there is any indication.
Sometimes, as in another suicide of a young man, there is NO indication, at least, not enough to add up to ‘suicidal thoughts’.

Prov 16:25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death.

This is NOT an answer for WHY
This is NOT an excuse for those that ignore
This IS a reply to the guilt of those that didn’t SEE because the victim chose to keep it hidden.
For those that read this, please pray for me to know what I am to do with my experiences…to follow God’s calling in my life.
The answer to protect children from suicide is to instill in them their worth, so that they have the armor to stand up to bullying, and have a positive mental sound track to take down the negative voices.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.
Soon, we’ll have email subscription, and maybe a newsletter.
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps #51 – Listen AND WRITE IT DOWN

This morning, in my prayer time, I KNEW I had something I was supposed to write.
I KNEW I had a word from God to share.
I also knew that I have a few things to do in order to get up, and come to my computer, and sit down and type it up.
My problem with that is my mental illness – my mental disability – my ‘handicap’ if you will.
In order to write a blog from the LORD – I NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN WHEN I GET IT!

Sometimes, I have written down the scriptures – but not today.
Even when I write down the scriptures, I may not remember, once things have cycled through my rolodex of daily duties, what it was that God was giving me.
If I don’t write it down – I may as well have not obeyed at all – and forget even sitting down at my computer.

That is why there is such a huge time and date difference between some of these steps…
Some, I started writing, and life happened, and I couldn’t remember what I was writing. Those are in drafts…waiting for my mind to remember.
Some, are in notes on a notepad – when I was obedient and wrote something down – but I cannot remember what my notes meant.
Sometimes, I get so busy editing the blog so it looks pretty, and easy for someone to read, and I forget what God’s voice is saying.

Do I stop hearing God’s voice after my morning prayer time? NO!
This has been a lesson I have had to learn.
But, in the quiet of the morning, I hear so much clearer…when I am lying on my bed, only focusing on Him, and my prayers.
It is then, that the writer in me is able to write what she hears – not being distracted – not having the weeds of the world and life float in and distract.

I need to be quiet, body, mind and spirit, to write.
Writing is an act of worship for me – it’s between me and God…and the fruit is what gets shared with others through this blog.
When I am in the ‘God zone’ – there is something that happens to my hands, and I rarely have typos…and I can type VERY fast.

This blog is an attempt to just be obedient to the call to write.
I can ‘feel’ the message in my mind…but I cannot get ‘eyes’ onto it in order to bring it out and share it…my heart will hold it, I know it’s not lost to me, spiritually, but because of my challenges, I cannot type it out. I cannot get it out of my head, and onto the computer screen – or even paper via pen.

Why would God call someone with such a difficulty to write?
I don’t know…and yet, I do.
Anything that I write comes from the Lord…that is, anything that is glorifying to Him! I do write garbage sometimes, later in the day…but early in the morning, when I write things that are blessings to people, those come from the Lord.

I feel like the full field in which the sower sows seeds.
In the morning – the seed falls on good ground…ground prepared by prayer, and worship.
In the afternoon – the weeds of the world start choking it out…I can’t hear as clearly..oh, I hear the basic stuff…but not the things that folks think are really insightful and gifts from God.
By evening…well, the ground is harder…and this is the time that is hardest for me to hear the Lord’s voice…and, it’s not always because my heart is hard, it’s because my inner voices have been telling me all about the things I failed to do that day, possibly starting with, not writing the blog the Lord laid upon my heart.

Moses argued with God that he was not a good speaker…
Gideon argued that he was not courageous…
Peter argued that he was not worthy….
I know what God has called me to do…I have spent time arguing…HE WINS the arguments with “Who made your mouth, ear, mind, hand, legs, back, neck?”
He wins with “who called you?”
He wins with “Do you love me? feed my lambs”
He wins with “If you love me, obey my commands”
HE WINS WITH “I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH AN EVERLASTING LOVE!”

And how could I say no to that?
Well, I have. over and over.
But, HE continues to reply to me, over and over, with the paraphrases above, and others.

You see, My God is a personal God – and I call Him, Abba, Father!
My Jesus is my personal savior, and HE calls me friend.

Ps 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

It breaks my heart that I cannot remember what God shared with me this morning…and that I cannot share it with you.
Some will say “Then it obviously wasn’t supposed to be shared” and they will miss the point.
When God calls a person to do His will, and they refuse, or delay, or object, or whatever….His will is going to be done, but not through that person.
The thing is, what if there was someone that would have read this blog – and had their heart turn, and because I did not speak to them, their blood is on my head?

Ez 22:30 And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.

Ez 33:6 But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take [any] person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman’s hand.

These chapters in Ezekiel do not give much leeway for the watch(wo)man that does not choose to stand in the gap, nor shout out the warning to draw in the children of God.

On the other hand, maybe this is the blog I was supposed to write…
What has God called YOU to do?
Be about YOUR Father’s business…the time is short…we know not the hour or the day, and it doesn’t have to be the rapture. Every moment of every day, we are called to speak the truth and shine a light….

I pray that my confession has touched your heart…to turn to the Lord – not take your hand off the plow, and to press on towards the mark of the prize of the high calling of Christ Jesus!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
Or ‘like’ me!

If you like The WildBerry Patch, follow me with the RSS feed.
Soon, we’ll have email subscription, and maybe a newsletter.
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

 

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Wilderness Wanderings at WildBerry Patch Step #48

I am sitting in a truck, with a laptop rested on my overly large stomach, with my arms tucked beside me, elbows sort of like chicken wings, and my hands right at my ribs, plugged into the thing that makes the lighter power thing go from 12 volts to whatever I need for this laptop to run. It is hot outside, and the sun is shinning down on my arms through the glass…and Gabriel is sitting in the back seat, hoping that I will quit playing with the computer, and go outside, in the 87 degree heat…I have no idea what the humidity is.
I want a studio/office!

Why are we always wanting something other than what IS?
When I was young, I wanted long straight hair…
the girls with long straight hair, wanted curly hair.
So, I straightened mine, they permed theirs, and we both ruined the beautiful hair God gave us.

I can paint. I can’t paint like Thomas Kincaid, or Michael Angelo, but God has given me a gift to paint that some folks find appealing.

Some folks are willing to say, I don’t know much about art, but I know I like what you have done.
Some folks are willing to say, I don’t like what you have done(though, thankfully, I have not heard that very much, probably because I throw those paintings away!)
What gets me is when someone that is not an artist, wants to seem like they are an artist, and comments on things in a piece of art that make no sense, but they say them with conviction, as if they actually understood perspective, shading, hue, and tint! And why is it always that when someone has to pretend they know what they are talking about, that they say negative things???? Can’t they just talk ignorant stuff and say good things with them? They aren’t comfortable with appearing as if they don’t know anything about art.

The 10 year old wants to be 13;
the 13 year old wants to be 16 or 18;
the 18 year old wants to be 21;
the 40 year old wants to be 21….or 29!

I am 51.
I don’t mind that I’m 51.
What I mind is how little I have to show for it, and how much I have to show for it!
I have very little in the way of what I have done for the Lord…and therefore, I am concerned about the talent parable…I’m not going to be the o0ne that gets praised like the one with 10 talents…I just want to not be the one who hid her talents!
I have way too much to show for my 51 years – in the area of waist, waste, and health issues.

In my 50th year, I started writing again.
In my 51st year, I started painting again.

Now, in my 52nd year, I need to figure out what God wants for me to do with these things.

The Parable of the talents lends itself to business mindedness.
The talents that God has given, haven’t been given for our benefit…they are His investments in us…and the parable gives us an idea as to what type of return He is expecting on His investments. In fact, it is VERY CLEAR that HE IS EXPECTING a return on His investment!!!

We are his workmanship….We are created for good works….that God prepared before hand that we should walk in them!

God put the talents INTO us, HE created us with talent, for the good works that HE intended for us to walk in!

The key is – what am I doing with HIS talent?
Am I dedicating HIS talent to HIM?
and, just an aside…what is a talent compared to a skill?
Could there be a difference between innate talent, and a learned skill…and yet, both have some responsibility to be given back to HIM?

Some folks are gifted to do…and not to teach.
Some folks are gifted to teach…and not to do.

My husband can read a book about painting, and very clumsily show me what it says…and then, in his words, I take the brush out of his hand, and create something really special with it.
I’d like to be able to teach – but I can ‘t.
I’m not sure about him wanting to paint…..but I KNOW he can TEACH!

There are things about the WildBerry Patch that I can do…but i’m not gifted to do.
There are things about the WildBerry Patch that I cannot do…but need to be done.
And then, there are things a bout The WildBerry Patch that only I can do…or it wouldn’t be The WildBerry Patch.

What is it that only YOU can do?
THAT IS YOUR GIFTING! Within reason!
If YOU are the only one that can do what you do in the way you can do it, and in doing this something, you will bring return, fruit, then that is YOUR CALLING!!!

I have several drafts sitting waiting for me to finish, because there are things that I needed to do…things that only I could do…and I didn’t get back to these drafts.
How much time is there in a day? 12 waking hours, that would be safe.
I write and I paint in my sleep, but since I don’t get that stuff out there…I guess sleeping doesn’t count.
I need to let those others do what they can do, so that I can be about doing what only I can do.
We are all me ant to be uniquely fitted together so that we can all be one body.

If my wavy, frizzy hair is not good enough for you…too bad. It’s the hair God gave me!
If my four eyes that cannot wear contacts bother you…too bad. They are the eyes and glasses that God gave me.
If I never walk a marathon, that’s not going to change what I, and only I, can do!
It doesn’t matter if I ever do another sprint triathlon…it won’t affect my writing or my painting.

I am created with a gifting for writing and painting.
God created me to be an artist and an author.
God has provided me with a mobile studio and office!

What has God put into you? What are you doing about it?

In His hands and under his wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7