Category Archives: MyOneWord

My One Word 2019 – Guard your heart – Prov 4:23

Proverbs 4:23 English Standard Version (ESV)
23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.

From January 2015

I was given a suggestion – one little word. Based upon Ali Edwards’ One Little Word. (scrapbooking focused)

Another friend recommended the site My One Word for those that don’t scrapbook.

The word was prepare – as in faithfully prepare. I wrote a lot.

In 2017 the word was teach me to number my days – Psalm 90:12
Again, I wrote a lot.

In 2018, I gave up on getting a word! Be Like Jesus was the focus. I didn’t write as much specifically on my one word, but I wrote in Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians and led a Roman’s Bible Study – so, I think that those things added up to getting into that focus!

This year, as usual, I didn’t get a word…I got a verse, or a phrase (Be Like Jesus is very much the whole Bible!)

Proverbs 4:23 English Standard Version (ESV)
23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.

This is one time that I did play around with different versions.
The Bible Hub makes it so easy! Proverbs 4:23

Young’s Literal translation says it this way:

Above every charge keep thy heart, For out of it are the outgoings of life.

Break it down.
KEEP YOUR HEART
Keep your heart is translated as guard mostly.
Watch is also used.
One version specifically says with all watchfulness.

Thanks to Blue Letter Bible,
The KJV translates Strong’s H5341 in the following manner: keep (38x), preserve (13x), watchmen (3x), besieged (2x), keeper (1x), monuments (1x), observe (with H7521) (1x), preserver (1x), subtil (1x), hidden things (1x), watchers (1x).

Outline of Bible usage:
to guard, watch, watch over, keep
(Qal)
to watch, guard, keep
to preserve, guard from dangers
to keep, observe, guard with fidelity
to guard, keep secret
to be kept close, be blockaded
watchman (participle)

You see, I’m no Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek scholar – I’m dependent upon Strong’s Concordance.
My point of view is that God will let me see what I need to know about the verses I’m studying.
In my language.
Isn’t that what Wycliff, Guttenburg, Tyndale and Luther wanted? It was their passion, and in many cases, the death of them.
For your enjoyment, here’s a great summary of how we got the Bible in English! English Bible History by Greatsite.

Men were hunted and killed for wanting to give us the Bible in common language. That’s pretty serious! We need to respect the seriousness of their work, their passion, and their gift to us who follow!

Even in the midst of the enemy’s desire to destroy God’s word, God insisted that the Bible live on, and protected the work of the men that gave their lives to translate for the common/indigenous peoples…the first being the very ones attending the churches! The first indigenous bibles were in German, English, and other such languages that were common, not limited to those scholars and priests, in the ivory towers and cathedrals.

It’s possible that the first protest…as in protestant…was to read the Bible for themselves!

Guard my heart – I want to dig into the words, because I want to know a bit more about the words!
Why?
Well, I believe everything started with a word (phrase, actually)

Genesis 1:3 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
3 Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

Jesus is the Word…and was there in the beginning!

John 1:1-3 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
Prologue
1 In the beginning was the Word,[a]
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
2 He was with God in the beginning.
3 All things were created through Him,
and apart from Him not one thing was created
that has been created.

To be like Jesus, I need to know Jesus more.
Jesus is the incarnation of God the Father, and the way that God made for me to KNOW Him better.
The Holy Spirit is the indwelling person of the Godhead. To know Him, I need to spend time with Him.

And the way to do that is through the WORD of God!

Psalm 119:11 King James Version (KJV)
11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Yes, Be like Jesus was “so last year!”
Seriously, which phrase/word actually has only a year’s worth of application?

Teach me to number my days…why?

Psalm 90:12 King James Version (KJV)
12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

Be Like Jesus – is there a verse for that?

John 13:15 King James Version (KJV)
15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.

Prepare? I found plenty of content for preparing the way for the Lord!

Mark 1:3 King James Version (KJV)
3 The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.

The first part was to mind the foundations.

I will confess, looking over the previous years One Word posts is very convicting.
But I have to guard my heart.
I tend to fall into condemnation.

Romans 8:1 King James Version (KJV)
8 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

The truth is, though I sometimes have trouble seeing it in myself, I desire to walk after the Spirit!
I desire to grow fruit!

Galatians 5:22-25 King James Version (KJV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

My heart’s desire is that I would live in the Spirit and walk in the Spirit! God gives me a promise in Psalm 37!
Specifically:

Psalm 37:3-7 King James Version (KJV)
3 Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
7 Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

Isn’t that beautiful? The whole Psalm is so comforting.

Guarding my heart is a verb, an action.
So are these:

  • trust in the Lord
  • do good
  • delight in the Lord
  • commit thy way to the Lord
  • trust, again…
  • rest in the Lord
  • wait patiently

These are key activities to guarding my heart and being watchful!

Walking and living in the Spirit will keep my heart! Guard my heart.

Some companion verses to drill this home for me:

Proverbs 22:5 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
5 There are thorns and snares on the path of the crooked;
the one who guards himself stays far from them.

And to be sure that I don’t trust in my own heart:

Jeremiah 17:9 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
The Deceitful Heart
9 The heart is more deceitful than anything else,
and incurable—who can understand it?

Proverbs 28:26 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
26 The one who trusts in himself[a] is a fool,
but one who walks in wisdom will be safe.

Bible Gateway has a collection of references to loving the Lord with all my heart.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7; Matthew 22:37-40; Mark 12:30-31; Luke 10:27

The ten commandments, rolled up into two – and the first is so foundational to the second:

Luke 10:27 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
27 He answered:
Love the Lord your God
with all your heart,
with all your soul,
with all your strength,
and with all your mind;
and your neighbor
as yourself.

Praise Break!

Today, I was listening to my youtube channel on Grounding Worship, and I heard “Come thou fount”. This is Jim’s favorite hymn.

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above
Here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

Chris Tomlin has such a great way of honoring the great hymns with something new!

I wanted to find the history of this hymn, and through much searching, found a blog by Stephanie that talked about her desire to know more about this hymn as well…and she led me to a new resource, Wordwise Hymns, and the information on Robert Robinson, the author of Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.

Guard my heart….

Proverbs 4:20-22 King James Version (KJV)
20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22 For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

Psalm 40:8 KJV
I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.

and again:

Psalm 119:11 King James Version (KJV)
11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

This year, I plan to surround myself with His word…to drive it deeper and deeper still into my heart, and renew my mind!

Romans 12:2 KJV
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Colossians 3:10KJV
And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

The next part of the verse is with all diligence/ vigilence, utmost care and above all else.
It is serious.
It is to be done intentionally.
I’m going to study that the next time!

https://youtu.be/wCYOpAfo61E

One last thing to share…I created a bracelet to remind me of this year’s focus.
The heart has “life” inscribed on it.
The round charm says Pr 4:23.

 

I think I have my work cut out for me! I’m so grateful that God has my back, and as long as this is the desire of my heart, He will give this to me! I’m committing my way to His grace, mercy, and guidance!

My prayer:

Psalm 51:10 KJV
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Do you have a word for this year? Share it with me!

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2018 Summary – My One Word and other thoughts

Hello 2019!
Good bye 2018.
But first, I tend to look over the past year, and see any mistakes, misunderstandings, mess ups so I can potentially change that for the next year.

One thing I have not normally done is look over the last year for successes! Hmmm, that goes along with my mental illness cognitive distortions…I’ve talked about those in other places. I think that the final days of 2018, I experienced a success. Let me tell you that story!

Last days of 2018 revelation

I had held my husband to a dream I called a vision that I had for us…and I held my children to one when they lived in our house. It was for our joy and the glory of God, so it’s all good, right?

Let me tell you the story.
We had just attended church where the pastor was talking about the mission statement for our church:

  • Loved
  • Life
  • Fulfill your purpose

Pastor talked about how after a very tragic event in he and his wife’s life, they were seeking God about what to do. They realized that they saw others hurting the same way they were, and they could minister to them, and give them hope. Out of that heart was born our church.

Now, this is the key to my purpose and ministry. Out of my wounds, I reach out to other wounded women, and lead them to the healing power and love of Jesus.

After Church, Jim and I went to dinner.
I like to discuss the message after church, it seems to help me settle it down in my heart.

I asked Jim what was his purpose in life.
“To be like Jesus”

Um, that is the general call of God to all those who believe upon Him. That is NOT a specific call.
Here’s what I have seen over the years.

  • He and I have had difficulties learning each other’s love languages.
  • He and I have separated and come back together, not with the heavenly music and angels, with the romantic nuances, but by hard work and determination to stay the course as a married couple(we both agree God called us to marry).
  • He and I have tools that we could share with other couples.
  • We have been told that we have a testimony that will change marriages.
  • We have been told that we are called to take what we’ve learned and share it with others.

I asked Jim what was his purpose in life.
“To Be Like Jesus”

Jim has no desire to be in couples ministry.
Jim has no desire to minister to other couples.
Let me clarify that last one.
Jim has no desire to minister to other couples AS A COUPLE.
In fact, we do not have the same point of view about how our marriage has been saved, nor about the testimony of the years, nor about how or what we’ve done, other than God.

My heart broke…Jim had no calling to minister with me to couples that were hurting.
This explained why he had no desire to give counsel to our children about the pit falls they were walking into in their relationships.
This explains why whenever I talk about marriage ministry I hear crickets.

So, I broke down, and spent a day in bed crying out to God.
What is wrong?
Why can’t he see his call?
“Is it his call?”
But Lord, it’s the focus of all things Bible…take the evil and turn it to good…take the wounded to bring healing…our marriage was broken, is broken, but we have tools that we can share to save other marriages!
“What is your call?”
To glean from my wounds to help the wounded seek Jesus and be healed, loved, and delivered.
And the Lord reminded me of one of my visions.
I was standing before women, with healing flowing from my hands as I spoke.
Jim wasn’t there.
The children weren’t there.
Only me.
THIS WAS MY CALL ALL ALONG!

The Revelation?
HE DID NOT HAVE THIS CALL!
Do I?
Maybe, but not as a couple, if Jim doesn’t have the call!
It kind of takes a couple to be a couple in ministry to couples. I’m only half of the couple!

Another revelation as I looked at OUR calling…
I also felt that the fact that our children and we collectively represented all 7 motivational giftings, and could be an enormous powerhouse for God…we just had to die to self and learn to work together! A ministering family!
I wanted our family to enjoy the joy of being with Jesus that I enjoyed when I did street ministry, beach witnessing, discipleship, working with homeless, and crisis pregnancy and wounded women. I wanted them to be part of the same joy that I was experiencing.

Instead, I was projecting my dream upon them.
Was there anything wrong with my dream?
No. there are plenty of families that have similar ministries to what I dreamed of.
Was there anything wrong with my approach?
Yes – if God didn’t give them a call, then I was pushing them, and that is NOT the way God works.
Can I see their giftings?
Yes.
Can I make them walk in their giftings?
No.
Can I place a call upon their lives because of the one placed upon my life?
Only if I am God…and I am not…and everyone said or shouted “AMEN”

I repeat, I was projecting a form of my ministry calling upon them. It’s NOT MY JOB to tell them what their calling is!
I’M NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT!

Again, let’s all say AMEN! and THANK GOD!

I apologized to Jim, and asked him to give me grace because i do see the greatness in him, and I see the potential for his story to help heal others, and I know that he is doing so, but not with me.

With me.
Hmmm.

Therein lies one of the lies I have embraced, or the fears that I have allowed to lead me.
I don’t want to be alone.
I will be all alone.
I will fail all alone.
I am alone.

One of the mental illnesses causes me fear when I meet new people that they will not like me or that they will hurt me.
It’s something that by God’s grace, I fight with His word, and when I am on His mission, fear is gone, and I can only love and reach out in Jesus’ name.

Before being anointed in an outing, I am fully human, and fully fighting for fear to leave and love to replace it.

Jim has been a rock for me here on earth – Jesus with skin on, if you will. He has the ability to ground me in an instant…not in the grounding like punishment, but in the grounding like mental peace.

My love languages are words…
Words of affirmation
Quality time

His are not.
Therefore, why would I think that he would be called to speak? Or write? Or do anything with words?
Now, to be honest, his current job has seen him grow in word usage tremendously, and his favorite game is words with friends.

His main language is acts of service…and he has an amazingly generous heart! Two very wonderful giftings!

When we were first married, he thought I was offended that he wasn’t as exuberant as I with worship. I didn’t understand, but I wasn’t offended or judging. Once we discussed it, I understood…he’s very quiet. When he lifts his hand in praise, he is moved tremendously!

I have spent much of our married life expecting a dream to come true if only…

  • If only I was more submissive
  • If only Jim was more open
  • If only I was more prayerful
  • If only Jim would learn to share(with me)
  • If only I was more reserved
  • If only Jim was more If only I were more…
  • THIS IS NOT FAIR TO EITHER OF US!

Jim’s call may very well be to be like Jesus.
He may have a more specific call.
I may have muddied the waters by putting out there the “call” I dreamed of…and for that, I am eternally sorry.

  • Our marriage has suffered because of my actions.
  • Our family has suffered because of my actions.
  • Our ministries have suffered because of me.

I’ve been learning about recognizing MY CALL for a little while…I mean a SHORT while!
The Associate pastor at church asked me to consider working with the children, because there was a great need. In the split second before I answered, I asked the Lord what to say. Here’s what He told me to say.

“Children’s ministry is where I hide out from doing my actual ministry. It’s an excuse not to work with wounded women”

Pastor Bob got it.
So did I.

Don’t project your call upon someone else!
And don’t let someone else project the need upon you as a call!

Pastor Keith said something else.
If you are not called to this church, I don’t want you here. Go where God wants you!

I’m not sure what that means about Jim and his choice for a church, but I cannot let go that I was called to this church.
That brings up another sticky situation in our marriage, doesn’t it?
But that’s something for us to work on in 2019.

You may be asking how is this a success?
I REALIZED THE SOURCE OF HUGE STRESS IN OUR MARRIAGE AND MY WALK WITH THE LORD!

Once you find the problem, you can find a solution.
Jim was very gracious in accepting my apology.
I’ve apologized for the pressures I put on our children before…and they have to walk in their healing, as all children have to walk in healing towards their human parents for being imperfect. That walk, in each of them, is taking different turns and ups and downs, but, we are so proud of our children.
No, non are in ministry.
No, non are in the super professions like doctor, lawyer, king.
All are functioning members of US society, providing for themselves, and in a couple cases, for their children.
All are ethical, moral, and can create an excellent argument from scripture, and some are even influencing social media for good in ways we’d never have expected.

And, we love them all.

So, to rehash “Be Like Jesus” I’m going to post some of the blogs.
My word for last year didn’t come gently. I started 2018 in pain.
Emotional and Physical.
On January 3, 2018, I didn’t like the phrase God was giving me, nor did I like the application thereof! My first writing as on learning the priority to love – like Jesus. It’s convicting, even a year later! I’m still not doing it so well, but I think the testimony at the beginning of this blog, as in, the end of 2018, says I’m learning something!

Midnight Musings are usually poetic, but the points that God gave me in the night, January 6, 2018, were these:

    • Glorify God in my struggles
    • Empathy
    • Do Good
    • Love
    • Joy
    • Peace

.

My first blog about my one word is also review of the Star Trek series Discovery. I discussed the pros and cons for this show, but, in light of “Be Like Jesus”, I came to this conclusion:

MY views…….
While they are encouraging and inspirational – they do not fill me with the love of Jesus that is MY healing power.

There’s much scripture about how I am trying to apply choices in my life. Because, being like Jesus IS a choice!

January 15th, I started unraveling some human aspects to what was keeping me from being like Jesus. Sin.

THIS IS OUR CHOICE! But if we remain afraid…if we continue lying…we will not know this freedom.

It includes one of my favorite songs by Keith Green:

Another huge thing I had to learn is that resting is being like Jesus! Say What? Yes. January 23, 2018, God cleared up the whole be Super Christian mentality for me, and let me know that HE knows that I need rest, and that HE even exemplified it for me, and created it for me! You also get a nice photo of my spoon collection!

How does this tell me to be like Jesus? REST
1. Recognize my limitations. I am finite. I am NOT GOD-Man!
2. Embrace the YOKE of HIS calling, not MY want to. Make sure I’m doing the Father’s will.
3. Remember that REST is a holy gift from my Father God. It honors God for me to rest.

The rest of the year, I wrote about preparation, recouperation, and recovery from Kidney Cancer in the Surgery Scuttlebutt series. It really was about how I learned how to be like Jesus going through a tremendous trial.

My praise in that time is that Jim said that I was always polite to the staff, no matter what their position, always thanking and always apologizing, no matter how many drugs I was on. I hope the two friends that came to stay with me afterwards can say the same. I was actively learning to be like Jesus!

I wrote several Bible studies, Lent Series, Itty Bitty Bible study, all of which you can search for on this blog. Each one, each insight into scripture, and scripture is how I learn to be like Jesus.

The huge thing(no, kidney cancer and surgery were not the most huge thing in my life this year) was shared in The End is Near… This is a play on my one word, but it is the testimony of how Jesus orchestrated our life change. It goes right up to the kidney surgery, which is then picked up in Surgery Scuttlebutt.

There are so many verses that can lead one to be like Jesus.
I can’t list them all.
There are many listed in the above blogs.
This year, I’m starting out doing Itty Bitty Bible Study in Titus – and the first few verses are about the qualities that should be evident in those that lead.

Titus 1:6-9 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
6 one who is blameless,
the husband of one wife,
having faithful children not accused of wildness or rebellion.
7 For an overseer, as God’s administrator,
must be blameless,
not arrogant,
not hot-tempered,
not addicted to wine,
not a bully,
not greedy for money,
8 but hospitable,
loving what is good,
sensible,
righteous,
holy,
self-controlled,
9 holding to the faithful message as taught,
so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching
and to refute those who contradict it.

That is a huge order.
But with God, nothing is impossible.
The fruit of the Spirit are evident in that list.
And, while I am not the husband of one wife…I can be committed to my one husband, and non of the others can be argued against, can they?

I guess, even though the phrase has changed….the concept is still the same!

Proverbs 4:23 English Standard Version (ESV)
23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.

Jesus kept his heart with all diligence, and we can agree that out of His heart flows springs of life.

Happy New year!

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Jesus Calling, are you answering?(My One Word – Be Like Jesus)

Hi.

My name is Christi.

I am a Christ follower.

I’m a sinner saved by Grace.

One would think that the designation would mean that I follow Christ. My goal is to follow Christ yet my flesh keeps getting in the way.
I’ve been studying Ephesians, and I’m being reminded about the battle we are in between our flesh and our spirit.

The spirit is willing but the flesh is week. (Matthew 26:40-43)
Jesus knew this about those that literally followed him around, so I’m pretty sure that He knows this about me.

I shared in my Itty Bitty Bible Study on Jonah how God called me, and I said no. Here’s the introduction to IBBS Jonah. You can read the rest of my testimony/confession by reading through that series.

I have cried out in the night for answers to His call. Have you?

I’ve cried out WHY! Have you?

I’ve questioned what folks see in me that gives them hope. Have you?

I know what I’m called to do – Be Like Jesus. Are you?

In IBBS Ephesians 2:1-10, I’m learning about how I’m saved by Grace…a beautiful gift. Have you received this gift?

I’m studying the rest of Ephesians 2, and I’ll link them here, but it’s about the struggle of flesh and the spirit.

Romans 7:15-20 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
15 For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 So now I am no longer the one doing it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. 19 For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me.

Years ago, in the middle of a sermon, a visiting preacher looked right at me and said “Do not die with a book inside of you!”
This was NOT in the context of the sermon.
The poor man was so confused as to why he would say that.
I KNEW.

God has put words into my heart to write and share.
I’m not saying that my words are HIS words, but my story is HIS story in my life.

Why do I write?

My life has a history of abuse, abandonment, and unwantedness.
My mental state(part of the triune nature of any human) has issue with not being appreciated by those very ones that say they love me.

Psalm 27:10-14 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord cares for me.

11 Because of my adversaries,
show me Your way, Lord,
and lead me on a level path.
12 Do not give me over to the will of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing violence.

13 I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong[a] and courageous.
Wait for the Lord.

Be strong and courageous…yeah right is my response.
My body is weak.
My mind is filled with giants of fear.
But
My spirit cries out for the living God! (Psalm 84:12)
My heart desires to be righteous in Christ. (Matthew 6:33)
I thirst after the Lord in a dry and weary land. (Psalm 42:1)

I have begun work on one of the books the Lord put in my heart in 1992. Blackwater Falls Testimony.

Now, he’s pointed out that since I waited so long to write that book (self doubt, which is idolotry, because without himn, I can do nothingJohn 15), there is another book to write. This one is about suicide.

I have written much about suicide on this website, and you can find them by doing a search for the word suicide. Here is the Day I committed suicide.

Both of these books are painful.
But the other part of what he’s called me to do is also painful.

Ministering to wounded women and children.
Ministering to displaced people.
Ministering to the unloved and unlovely.

I’ve been damaged goods.
I’ve been unwanted.
I’ve been unloved, by those that should have loved me.
I’ve been unprotected by those that should have protected me.

BUT GOD.

By God’s grace I have never been homeless…but I’ve felt the fear of the possibility.
By God’s grace I have never lacked medical treatment…but I’ve felt the fear of trying to find a doctor to care.
By God’s grace I have never gone without food…but I can see the damage the lack of the most bare essentials to live can cause.

BUT GOD!

I want people to read what I write and comment and encourage me to continue.
I want people to say that what I do has value.
I want people to tell me that what I do has impacted their lives, that Jesus has met them where they are.

I question myself.
I question my gifts.
I question my ability to fulfill my calling.

There’s where I’m wrong.
It’s not me. It’s HIM.
They aren’t my gifts. They are HIS.
It’s not my body. I gave it to HIM for His temple.

This is dear younger me, and yet, at 58, I’m still struggling to believe!

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault
You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross
Dear younger me
You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

I need to lay it all at the cross!

Have you heard the call of the Lord?
Do you question your calling?
Do you question if you are worthy, able, or willing?

Me too.
I’m not worthy, neither are you.
I’m not able, neither are you.
I am willing, but my flesh is weak.

And Jesus knows this.
And Jesus loves us.
And Jesus will not leave us nor forsake us.

Abide.
Be still.
Yield.

I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
What if I had given everything,
Instead of going through the motions?

Like I said above, I’ve been very focused on this while studying Ephesians 2 for Itty Bitty Bible Studies.
To drive it home, I was listening to the podcast from my church that was about Living and a legacy.
I just wanted to get on my knees and recommit my life to Christ, to His service, to give him my all!
There’s a saying in the military.

All gave some, some gave all.

I think that we will find when we stand before the judgement seat of Christ, facing those that were martyred for their faith, that this will be true of Christians as well.

My hearts desire is to hear this:

Matthew 25:23 King James Version (KJV)
23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

Before a book, before a tract, before a song or any other ‘ministry’, my calling is to be faithful to My Lord and to whatsoever HE calls me to do.

How about you?

Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

My One Word 2018 – The End is Near – or The Time Is Short – hmmmm?

Yes, that’s what I got in January!
My One Word!

Then, it was refined to Be Like Jesus!

I’ve written a bit about both.

I also wrote about Jesus Knowing my frame….and how many spoons I have!

I created a video about being poured out – I think I need to find that, edited by Jim!

Last September, I wrote about my struggles with what was occurring at that time….since then
In October, we put Gabriel Down.

In November, we rejoiced with our children Faith and Steve in their new home, that included a room in which we couild stay without a hotel!

In December, we flew back to Ohio to share in Christmas with family.


Somewhere in January, I found out I had kidney cancer.
Somewhere in January, we found out that Jim’s fight with prostate cancer was not over.

In February, we discussed with various doctors about various cancer treatments…for both of us.
I have to have most or all of my kidney removed.
Jim needs another hifu, and we are looking at the lymphoma.
Jim has had to start a medication to be a stop gap for the prostate cancer…and we’ve had to fight with insurance for one of the drugs. (And we thought we had one of those golden insurance policies…how awful it must be for those that don’t have anything!!!!)

We need to lower our costs….and Jim’s focus is in lowering our credit card debt.

Then –
2/21 I get a text from our daughter “Do you want to be my neighbor?”
Jim jumps right over my maybe to a yes…because he’s seeing the end from the beginning…

2/27 – Faith and Steve walk the house…and Faith does a video call with me, and they share the google photos with us. It’s nowhere near as bad as the zillow photos!

3/2 – we have realtors over to this Florida house to check on the viability of selling.
we also check into a program called Open Door – the amount for which we need to sell this house is viable –
3/3 we jump on a plan to fly to Ohio to check out the house ourselves.
3/4 we meet the agent and the inspector, and we ‘fall in love’ with the house and the property.

Our 7 year old grandson, when asked if he could make sure that I got plenty of hugs and kisses if I moved in said ” Oh Mamaw, I’d do anything to get you to move up here!” MELT! The 4 year old offered ideas to make the house work for me! The son-in-law discussed the fences and my dear sweet daughter promised me baked goods!

I stayed up all night finding possible professionals to get quotes on work needed on the Thurber House.
3/5 we met with the agent one more time at the house, and let the boys go inside and see the place. Then, we flew home.

3/6 The open door offer comes in $1000 less than our mortgage payoff!!!
3/7 We worked up a bid for the Ohio house, based on comps and comparisons.
3/8-9 The seller came back with a $2000 increase(which was still $18k less than the asking price). we were so shocked it was ok’d so fast, that we didn’t even consider negotiating any more and said yes!
3/9 signed the papers for the Ohio house

One of the professionals from Home Advisor is working with us to come up with quotes for all the things needed to be done…Jim likes him! YAY!

Jim would need an apartment here, for work technicalities…and he was not able to find anything reasonable. One night, I was up, and found a bunch. He liked the website I’d looked at, and found a treehouse rental. Yes, they have one opening up, for $625 a month! No, it’s not in Clermont…but it is in the general area in which he was looking. It’s based in a resort…near Lake Marion, in a very secluded area. The ride to the treehouse condos is in cattle country mixed in with Orange groves…a very restful drive for Jim!
3/9 My friend and I drove out there to see the property and turn in some papers and money orders to hold the treehouse.
3/10 Jim and I drive to see the Treehouses
3/11 we signed the papers for the Florida House with Open Door

3/16 Jim signed the lease papers for the treehouse. The house that they have given him is close to the lake, and very secluded! Great restful place!
3/16 the major parts of the Open Door inspection were done…we think everything went well.

We had need of another car…because of the rental car location issues. Our Daughte rRachel happened to call Jim on the day he was headed down to Fort Lauderdale and said “could you check out a car for me? I’ll sell you mine for cost” The car was 10 minutes out of his way, and it was a day that he had time to do the test drive!
3/15 Rachel flew to Florida this past weekend to pick up her new car.

It appears that God’s plan is to eliminate the mortgage debt!

3/19 the Septic inspection.
Upcoming – Jim will be driving a truck to Ohio 3/22-24; flying to Austin to pick up the car from Rachel, driving to Dallas for SKO then driving our ‘new’ car home to Orlando area from SKO 3/29-4/1

Closing for Florida house is set for April 19th(if all things are agreed on from the OD inspections)
Closing for Ohio house is set for April 23rd.

We have stepped down from leading the small group, and the women’s group.
We are packing like crazy…and even have the house cleared of all things on the walls.

I have a peace that is totally incomprehensible(probably similar to Peace that passes understanding!) even in the midst of the stress, anxiety and panic attacks.

If there seems to be a flurry of activity in this blog, it’s because it’s been a flurry of activity. We have sought out friends and connections, especially those that might have a reason to NOT want us to leave, and laid out the very details as they have come up. The typical response is either
“This is a no brainer”
or
“What’s the question?”

Two additional God things:

  • The agent in Ohio had a partial nephrectomy just two years ago and knows an excellent urology team!
  • The doctor that handles my back pain had a cancellation for the first part of a procedure for my back…we can do the first part, the test, which will be over the course of two months…and I can come back for the results. If it works, then, he can do a procedure that will make me pain free for ONE YEAR!!

And if that’s not enough….
My Psych is fine with me meeting with him once a quarter.
My Therapist is fine with me once a month…and one computer visit.
I think my hemotologist will be like wise!

Jim does not have to change out his cancer treatment professionals, because he will have an apartment down here.
I can come down to Florida once a month to be with Jim…because he has an apartment…or to stay by the beach!
We have the car situation settled for Jim going to and from the airport in Pittsburgh!

And I will have all the grandbaby hugs and kisses I can handle…even the potential for those that live three hours away to come and stay for a weekend!

So, yes, the time was short….for our living here!
Yes, the end is near…. for our living here!

We still need to focus upon our walks with Christ, and being like Christ…
We still need to focus on numbering our days that we would apply our hearts to wisdom…
The days are evil…and short…and the Lord will return!

This house has been a blessing and gift from the Lord.  We thought we were going to be here for the rest of our lives.  God had other plans.  Lately, we feel like we are just holding on for the ride!

We just try to follow!

PRAISES UPDATE!
EDIT 3/19/2018 –
* Jim’s biopsy for the lymph nodes came back as B Cell follicular Lymphoma – only needs to be watched. No evidence of metastasized Prostate cancer!
* Open Door investigation came back with $700 repairs…a totally bogus claim against the carpet and pet odor…as confirmed by the many people that have come in, and a totally unrealistic claim to fix the damage to the ceiling that our repair guy charged $800 for and totally messed it up. Also, realistic maintenance repairs to the outside of the windows. The point…it cost us more to fix the ceiling(even if the guy did do a horrible job) than they have allowed for all three repairs. The difference between the check for this place and our mortgage payoff is about the cost of one mortgage payment!

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Morning Worship – Joyful Joyful – 2/1/2018

Joyful joyful we adore thee…

the lyrics….Oh my!

The Methodist church provides these lyrics:

Ode to Joy

I love the piano guys….and my favorite christmas carol is Joy to the world!

many years ago, in the midst of my darkest depression, I wrote Oil of Joy

Jesus – the core of my Joy!

https://youtu.be/iPeVIuRjUi4

The Lyrics to Jesu, Joy of Man’s desiring.

This is my confession – that I am responsible for my joy, by leaning on Jesus!

and here is my prayer:

and my profession of Faith

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 16:24 Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.

The first named fruit of the spirit are LOVE, JOY, PEACE.
Love the Lord your God, and He will fill you with Joy, and in that Joy and Love, you will find Peace!

Philippians 4:7 English Standard Version (ESV)
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Jesus is the Prince of Peace!

Psalm 16:11 English Standard Version (ESV)
11 You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

We have access to HIS PRESENCE through Jesus Christ!

1 John 4:19 English Standard Version (ESV)
19 We love because he first loved us.

We are able to love, because HE LOVES US!

My husband sings this song to me when I am struggling with depression…and has song this to our children.

1 Corinthians 13: 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Galatians 5:22-23 English Standard Version (ESV)
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Because of HIS love, I can enter into His presence.
In His presence is the fullness of Joy.
He will keep me in perfect peace because, in His presence, my mind is stayed on HIM.
Confidence that HE will complete the work HE began gives me patience.
Because of HIS great love, I can treat others with kindness, goodness, gentleness.
Because HE is faithful, I am able to believe, by grace, and through HIM, I can be faithful!
Because He lives in Me, and by Him, I am dead to sin, I can grow in Self Control.

If this is not something worth rejoicing, I do not know what is!

And I found this lovely art piece from Jan Marvin Art of Joy!

Find Joy today!
 

Jim & Christi 2017

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2018 – My One Word – Be Like Jesus – Jan 23, 2018

Sometimes, I feel all alone.
It feels like there is no one on my side.
If feels like that saying “if you were the only one on earth, Jesus would have come to die on the cross for you” – except for all those people around.

Loneliness.
Alone-ness

For several months, I’ve felt alone. It wasn’t that there aren’t people that care for me, because there are. It was because I was not able to get out because of my physical limitations. My health issues kept me inside.

Christine Miserandino wrote an article about the Spoon Theory that gave all of us with ‘hidden’ disabilities the way to explain our various abilities.

Because some health issues are invisible to others, we, whom suffer invisibly can feel very alone. Trying to explain why we have the want to, but we don’t have the can do becomes exhausting. After years of trying to explain this to others that offer platitudes, the health fad of the day, their uncle’s second cousin twice removed miraculous cure and so on, a person just tries to hide that part of them. It is easier to just pull back into oneself rather than exert the effort to engage another person, and waste the spoons that could otherwise make the day a bit more bearable.

Another analogy – the battery theory.

Christine wrote her theory article in 2003. It went “viral’ amongst those of us with chronic, hidden illnesses. It made a huge difference in the ability to communicate with non-spoonies. Yet, there is a serious problem with these illustrations.
“how many spoons do you have left today?”
“Yesterday, that took 2 spoons, why are you acting so tired today, doing the same thing?”

See, the spoon cost is not the same from day to day. The analogy breaks down when you try to make it a data stream, a statistic point, a menu of energy.

Yes, there are days that I decide that I will not take a shower, because often, that uses up so many of my spoons, that the next option is to go to bed. To prepare my house for Bible Study can be a joy, or a nightmare, depending on the spoon expenditure.  That is never the same from one day to the next. I don’t always know how many spoons it will take. Sometimes, it can take a day for me to recover, because I had to borrow spoons from the next day. Don’t get me wrong! I absolutely LOVE having people over to my home, to share something to eat and drink, and to talk about Jesus! It’s not just stressful relationships that can suck the spoons out of me. Laughter, singing, hugging, talking and interacting with people I love to be around can drain me. I have to count the cost daily, so that I can perform my mission to the glory of God.

Be Like Jesus.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HER WORD FOR THE YEAR?

Mark 6:31
And He said to them, “Come with Me privately to a solitary place, and let us rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.

Jesus and the disciples were exhausted.
John had been martyred.
The disciples had been sent out on their first missionary trip(hmmm, what did Jesus do while they were out doing the work of the Kingdom? was he resting in the Father?).
Jesus said, come with me…let us rest.

Matthew 11:28-30
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Jesus promises us rest…but often, we forget the second part.
The YOKE.
The BURDEN.
Yes, it is easy and light.
Yes, he is gently and lowly, and will give us rest for our souls.
The reason he says this is that we are wearing a YOKE – we are workers in the KINGDOM – and our souls get weary doing the work.
And HE provides us rest, when we come to HIM.

Psalm 23 – The Lord is MY Shepherd – and sometimes, we have to be led to still water.
Sometimes, we have to be MADE to lie down in GREEN PASTURES so that HE can restore our souls!

I’ve felt broken.
I’ve felt less than.
In fact, because of my limitations, I’ve felt like the unprofitable servant(Matthew 25:14-30) …hiding my talents because I cannot go out and invest it, or buy and sell, or whatever.
I feel slothful, and, sometimes, I feel wicked.
I feel lazy.

Actually, while yes I do feel broken and less than, and I grieve because of the things I cannot do, the reality of feeling slothful, wicked and lazy is that I project that onto what I think others think of me.

Jesus wasn’t born in 2000, with computers, and cable, internet social media to share the gospel. He didn’t come when he could fly around in a jet, and speak to thousands in large coliseums. Did he know what Y2K would provide in the way of spreading the gospel? Of course He did. Still he came, in something BC, and walked from place to place, speaking without a microphone, trusting that His disciples would share what he said with integrity.

Creator God came in the form of a baby – a helpless, dependent baby – to save the world.
Born alone, in a stable, because there was no room for his family in the Inn.
Homeless.
Branded illegitimate.
The Bible says that he had to grow in wisdom…

ETERNAL GOD was disabled by being limited to THE FINITE.
Jesus even said that he had to ask the Father’s guidance, that while here on earth, He didn’t know the hour or the day of things to come.

How do I be like Jesus, when I am limted by the finite of my chronic illnesses?

Recognizing my limitations!
If the son of God needed time apart to recover, then surely I do.
If those walking side-by-side with Jesus needed time apart to rest, then surely I do!
Of course, when the earth was created, on the seventh day REST was created.
Rest was created FOR US, and yet, it says in Genesis 2:

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2 And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. 3 So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

God set this up, as an example to us. He told Moses, on Mount Sinai:

Exodus 20:
8 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
9 Six days you shall labor, and do all your work,
10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates.
11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

How does this tell me to be like Jesus? REST
1. Recognize my limitations. I am finite. I am NOT GOD-Man!
2. Embrace the YOKE of HIS calling, not MY want to. Make sure I’m doing the Father’s will.
3. Remember that REST is a holy gift from my Father God. It honors God for me to rest.

Then, there is my attitude about myself – accepting that I was fearfully and wonderfully made – wrinkles, warts, scabs and scars. Can I do anything about these limitations? Some, yes. Other’s no.
It’s my responsibility to to whatever the Lord puts into my hand to do, and to do it to the best of my ability, unto HIS glory.
My body is the temple of the Holy Ghost – and I should treat it like a temple. I don’t mean to worship my own body. I do mean, I need to determine the clean and unclean things that I do to my body. Again, clarification – I am not saying that I’m going around living in sin, and performing all manner of wickedness.

Many years ago – when I was just a young girl, my mom shared a story with me about our minister’s wife at a woman’s bible study. People were asking for prayer to help them overcome things that were causing them to stumble. Goldie Marshall asked for prayer to avoid chocolate. I don’t know what her issue was, but what I do remember is how that impacted my mom.

“She is so dedicated to the Lord that she even would give up chocolate to be more like Him”

My body suffers from some of the things I eat.
My body suffers from lack of movement, because of the consequences of some of the things I eat.
I cannot exercise as much as would be good for my body, because of choices I have made that have caused more co-morbidities to my health issues.
I have not cared for the temple.
The walls are torn down, or fallen down.
While I cannot change the specific illnesses in many ways, I can make choices to mitigate their effects.
Case in point – DM2.
With the help of my service dog, and learning to listen, I no longer have a diagnosis of DM2. It’s been downgraded(upgraded?) to Impaired fasting glucose.
Now, what if I’d been even more determined about my eating? Maybe the IFG would be gone. The weight would be gone, and the issues that being overweight causes. Maybe, I’d be more energetic, and more capable to do the tasks God has for me.

Is this like hiding my talent? For me – yes.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17
16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

This chapter talks about building…wood, hay and stubble, or gold silver and precious stone. In the end, I am going to be judged by the materials I used to build this temple.

Jesus made sure that his followers were fed, both spiritually and physically. God miraculously fed the Israelites in the desert. Elijah was fed by ravens. Peter was told to eat what God laid before him. I’m not talking about the levitical legalistic dietary laws. I’m talking about God providing food for His children. I’ve often been taught, and have taught about the need for spiritual food, and how often.
Hunger and thirst after righteousness, and you shall be filled!
Avoid the leaven of the Pharisees.

Too often, I have not applied that to my physical body.

Proverbs 23:1-3
1 When you sit down to eat with a ruler,
observe carefully what[a] is before you,
2 and put a knife to your throat
if you are given to appetite.
3 Do not desire his delicacies,
for they are deceptive food.

empty calories
toxic drinks (thinking about diet soda…just to be clear!)
foods that cause inflammation, pain, migraines, and congestion.
POISON
in the temple of the Holy Spirit!
UNCLEAN!

How does this tell me to be like Jesus? FUEL
1. wash my body with clean water, like I wash my spirit with clean water of the Word.
2. Feed my body the best nutrition possible. This body was created to heal itself, if only it is given the proper fuel.
3. Movement. I’m not exactly certain how this fits, I just know it does. Follow the Shepherd. Walk as Jesus walked.

I really did not expect this to be part of MY ONE WORD – Rest and fuel!
Now that the Lord has pointed it out to me, I can see how I have been an unprofitable servant, by not caring for the temple. I can see how I have hidden my talents by not giving my body the best opportunities to be at it’s best. I can see how I have abused my body by pushing it past it’s limitations, and not going to the Lord, and resting in Him. I can’t blame it all on the number of spoons I may have or may not have, though it is my responsibility to make sure that all of my spoons are ready to be used when the Lord calls!

Am I really all alone?
When I am not able to fellowship with other believers, whose fault is it, if I have worn myself out doing other than?
I’m never alone, because of Jesus.
The aloneness I have suffered with lately, is the result of my choices that have exacerbated my limitations and prevented me from fellowshipping with believers face-to-face.
That’s another thing that I need to recognize is part of being like Jesus.
He CHOSE to come down here to be with US!
One of the things for which to save up spoons is fellowship.

Fellowship is very important.

Hebrews 10:24-25
24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Matthew 18:20
20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

James 5:14-16
14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

I must be part of the BODY of Christ.

1 Corinthians 12

1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Pretty clear.
1. Rest
2. Fuel
3. Fellowship

It is up to me how I apply my spoons.
I can waste them.
I can hoard them.
Or I can treat them as precious gold to be spent for the Kingdom of God, and invest them wisely so that I can bear much fruit and glorify my Father Who is in Heaven.

Spoons come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes I need a ladle, sometimes a slotted spoon to take things with discernment. Sometimes, all I have is a 1/4 tsp.
The key is – what do I do with it?
And do I hole up in my home, and cry “I’m so alone”, or do I ask for help when my spoons are gone?

As for the aloneness – Jesus felt very alone in the garden, when all of His friends fell asleep. He chose to go to the Father, and then, finish the work that He’d begun.

Is my alone-ness actually me being alone?
Or me choosing to be alone?
Some of both.
My responsibility is to be like Jesus, and give grace when it’s from others, and give myself a reality check when it’s because of my choices.
Accept my limitations,
rest as needed,
fuel for the fire, and
fellowship in and with Christ.

I never thought of these as being like Jesus.
What do YOU think about this?
Do you ever struggle with these areas?

I’m so glad that Jesus knows our form, that we are but dust, and that HE is the one that forms us, and works in us and completes us to the Glory of God! Amen!

 

Jim & Christi 2017

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

Midnight Musings – the Pain of Night – Jan 22, 2018

The Pain of Night

The pain of night has no Delight
And to the Lord, I set my sights

My heart is filled with joy and fear
Because I know that He is near.
Then why the fear if He is near?
Will He choose to hear my tears?

My heart is sad because of pain
It’s nothing, I look to the blood-soaked stains
Of what He suffered for me on the cross
And I think of my life and count it for  loss.

But still my flesh does scream and cry,
I know for me He chose to die,
And by His stripes I’m told I’m Healed.
Why this pain still do I feel?

What lesson in this for me to learn?
I really pray that I discern
I want to learn my lessons well
I want to hear Him to me tell,

“Peace my child and do be still!”
“I will do the work in you until
My fullness in you does dwell
And you are set free from this Earthly hell.

“So tell your story far and wide
How I was ever by your side
When darkness threatened to settle in
And the demons try to do you in.

“But to My face you turned to seek
And in My light you knew we’d meet
The day will come, this flesh will die.
You with me, to be glorified.

“So do the work on Earth for now.
I give you Grace and make a vow.
I’ll be beside you until the end
And you reach heaven with Me, amen.”

What can I say, Lord, when you speak like this?
When your words are gentle like a butterfly kiss.
When I know what you suffered on the cross for me
What else can I do, but to learn to be –

Be still
Be patient
Be loving and kind
I know that my God is in charge of all time

To be more like Jesus is my prayer
And to share His love everywhere.
And if my suffering in faith and peace
Is what the Lord desires of me,

Then I pray that I will suffer well
And that I can go and tell
Others about the Amazing peace
Of knowing that he died for me!

My prayer was that He’d speak to me
My prayer was so that I would see!
If He chooses not to heal
My soul declares Peace, be still.
(c) 2018 MCWildman

 

Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,
4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,
5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

James 1:2-5
2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,
3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Jim & Christi 2017

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank
for the ability to search the Bible online.
Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

2018 My One Word/phrase – be like Jesus

My 2018 One Word/Phrase – Be Like Jesus

Character is what you are when no one is watching.
Hypocrisy is what you are when ONLY someone is watching.

Christ is NOT a hypocrite.

Can someone be a hypocrite without realizing it?
Yes, by lying to themselves.

The rich young ruler was certain that he had done all that he needed to do to enter into the Kingdom…until Jesus said “go, sell all that you have and come follow me” and he went away sad.
His heart was mixed up with those things!
He didn’t realize that he was bound by greed. THIS WAS HUGE!

Giants are huge. I wrote a few of my giants down in some blogs, which can be found at “there are Giants in My land”
The first three for me are

  1. Fear
  2. Depression
  3. Unforgiveness

These giants make us do things that we would rather not do…like Paul saying that he doesn’t understand his own actions.
Romans 7:15-20

  • Like someone sabotaging themselves for a promotion.
  • Someone not writing a book they have been called to write.
  • Like someone messing things up so that they cannot get a medical procedure.
  • Like someone refusing to go to the doctor because they are so afraid of what might be found.

When you get below the excuses, you usually come up with four basic reasons:

  • Mad
  • Sad
  • Glad
  • or Afraid.

These are the most basic human emotions.
From these, all others eminate.

FEAR or Afraid.
Afraid of something.
and, the giant wants to take control.
The giant wants you to believe that you are in control of the situation…by using fear to talk you out of something.
While the person sabotaging themselves against a promotion, or not writing the book would have obvious consequences, does the person refusing to see the doctor, or refusing a scan really have any control over what is going on in their body? Of course not…they are lying to themselves.

The sad thing about this giant is that not only does it keep one in the state of fear…it brings along it’s brother – Liar.
You see, the giant liar can weave a story around in your head (because that’s where they dwell) with all your thoughts, dreams, and fears, and make the excuses make sense to you. He’s a master manipulator!

  • “He didn’t call me, so I won’t call him.”
  • “I can’t do this right, and they know it, they’re just trying to humiliate me.”
  • “I’m not good enough for that scholarship, God knows that, so I’m not going to take it. It’s his fault”
  • “I can’t prepare if I don’t have total control of my appointment time, so it’s their fault.”
  • “They won’t give me a job, so why even show up for the interview, they lied to me.”

The rich young ruler said “all of these I have kept from my youth”…as in, I’ve walked in the law perfectly. Mark 10:17-22
He thought that Jesus would welcome him in!
Jesus saw his heart.
Jesus said – wait…there’s a bit more to this!
The Consequences are HUGE…possibly eternal!

There is the story of the Pharisee and the Tax collector.

Luke 18:10-14
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.

The Pharisee knows all the ways and ins and outs of the law.
The Pharisee is revered by people, as he walks through the street as a holy man.
The Pharisee does what he does when others are watching, so as to be seen.

Jesus goes into even more detail about his thoughts about the hypocrisy of the Pharisees in Matthew 23:17-33

The Tax collector is honored, BY JESUS HIMSELF! I think that Jesus was talking about a REAL occurrence! I even wonder if this man was standing in the back of the crowd while Jesus was talking, and thought “he saw ME!”

There are so many promises given to those that humble themselves….here are a few:

1 Peter 5:6-7English Standard Version (ESV)
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

2 Chronicles 7:14King James Version (KJV)
14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

James 4:6-10English Standard Version (ESV)
6 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

With humility comes peace, forgiveness, grace, and joy. What’s to be afraid of there?
Oddly enough – peace counteracts fear, forgiveness counteracts unforgiveness, joy counteracts depression…and grace…well, that will address another giant in my land…condemnation.

The Pharisee was deceived – he was lying to himself.
The Rich Young Ruler was deceived – he was lying to himself.
Lying is a serious sin.
It’s one of the 10 – Ex 20:16 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
So, does this mean it’s ok to lie to ourselves?

That line of reasoning would also go like this:
Ex 20: 13 “You shall not murder.
But that means only other people, so it’s ok to commit suicide.

You probably would disagree with that, wouldn’t you?

King James

Revelation 21:8King James Version (KJV)
8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

ESV

Revelation 21:8English Standard Version (ESV)
8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

If there was any question as to what God thinks of lying…or the rest of these, here’s His answer.

This is the final judgement.
These are giants that have taken over folks, and folks did not deal with them.
They may not have even recognized them.
They have been manipulated BY the giants.
They may have been blindsided by them, like David almost was, and his mighty men had to kill one for him.

Fear and Lying….
cowardly and faithless…
and idolatry.

Yep, idolatry is in that set of 10! the first four deal with our relationship with GOD!

I put this quote at the end of every blog and email:

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

For me, this is the simplest definition of idolatry I’ve ever found.
I allow something between ME and HIM.
So, when I wrote there are giants in my land, I was taking down the rights of those giants to get between me and Jesus. I also confessed that I will not put ME between me and Jesus! My definition of LORD is that HE is given control(as if he needed me to give him permission) over my life, and I will yield to MY LORD.

Lying to myself gets between me and my God…and peace, forgiveness, grace and joy.

 

Lies...that is how the abuse in my life continued.
I suppose that folks that knew lied to themselves, as well as others.
Those lies almost destroyed me.

John 8:30-32King James Version (KJV)
30 As he spake these words, many believed on him.
31 Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed;
32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

The truth of sexual abuse is not an easy truth to accept.
but by allowing the truth to open my eyes, so many things started to fall in place that had been chaotic, and confusing. Things that had never made sense were now making sense, in the face of this ugly truth. And the bigger TRUTH??? Jesus was in control. Not me. Not my abuser. Not those that knew and allowed it.

Even Satan has to get permission to mess with God’s Saints…Job 1 … and God puts limitations upon his efforts.

We cannot allow the enemy to rule in our bodies…Romans 6:12

12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. 13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. 14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

THIS IS OUR CHOICE! But if we remain afraid…if we continue lying…we will not know this freedom.

So, fear, brings in lying, which brings in other things…for some of us, suicide and depression. Giving up.
Quitting.
Anger because things aren’t working out the way we want it to.
Because we think we are in control.
If God is not in control of our lives and our decisions, then the enemy is, and he doesn’t ask permission to mess with our heads…not from us.
The only way that we are protected from the enemy is when we are choosing to walk in faith and truth.
Will we stumble? yes.
Will we fall? yes.
Will be revert back to the old fearful, lying ways? Absolutely.

But every time we stand up to the giant, we are stronger for the exercise, and he is weakened because of the presence of God in our lives.

And by the power of the Holy Spirit within us…

Romans 6:11
11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

1 John 1:6-7
6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.

1 John 2:3-6
3 And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: 6 whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

We’re supposed to BE LIKE JESUS!

Here are some prayerful songs for humbling myself:

To be like you – Hillsong

Humble thyself in the Sight of the Lord
Heal Our Land 
No Higher Calling

Here is a printable for more verses:
from the four step Bible Study

Here is a video of the service preached by Pastor David Uth, on Letting Go

I’d like to recommend this booklet by Syvia Gunter of The Father’s Business. I have no affiliation with her other than my respect for the things she has written.

We are called by HIS name – Christians – Christ followers – therefore, let’s
humble ourselves
pray
seek his face
turn from OUR wicked ways(they are ours, even if giants manipulate us)
AND HE WILL HEAR US
AND HE WILL HEAL OUR LAND.

Bottom line, isn’t that better than living with giants?

Jim & Christi 2017

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

TV Show Review – Star Trek Discovery(from my one word 2018)

I admit it, I’m a treky. I have been since the original series. Yes, in the 60’s.
I’ll also admit it – Star Trek does NOT coincide with Christian beliefs.
It was never meant to.
Gene Roddenberry

For me, as an artist and writer, I have enjoyed the cinematic evolution that is Star Trek.
The artistic aspects of the sets, the clothing, the scenes…all of that.
The humanistic study of humans…from a psychological and sociological point of view.

This is my review of the new series, Star Trek, Discovery, currently only available on CBS All-Access.
I utilized the free 7 day trial.

While all of the Star Trek episodes are/were meant to push the social envelope(Kirk kissing Uhura – first mixed race kiss on TV) – I’m feeling a bit pushed over the edge.

What I’m going to write next is NOT politically correct. This is MY review, this is MY opinion. Everyone has one!

Pros:
I love the strong women!
I love the reality of their back stories!
In only 10 episodes, I love their growth.
I love the dealing of PTSD in the life of Tyler, after being tortured by Klingons.
I love the character development.
I love the equality of the story line – mixed skin-color couple, mixed race couple(Klingon and Human) and the same sex couple. Since this is NOT a Christian statement show…I appreciate the balance from a humanistic point of view).

Cons:
This is NOT a show that will encourage my Christian faith.(sometimes, non Christian shows do give me food for thought)
This is a much more RAW Star Trek – while there are good parts…it feels much more savage and violent.
This series has been promoted as the series to push the women’s movement, and the LGBT movement into mainstream.
This is NOT a show that will encourage my Christian faith. (yes, I said that before…I’ll explain the reasoning behind this CON later)

PROS:
As a survivor of abuse, and having PTSD and anxiety issues, and to some extent, having been ‘brain washed’, the little bit of Tyler’s story, having been a POW in the Klingon camp, and having been tortured in ways we do not understand at this time, I am intrigued by his character development. In one episode, he has horrible flash backs and goes almost catatonic, and the other character talks him through the flash back. The words she says to him are the very words needed when PTSD flashbacks come.

Focus on the sound of my voice.
These are not happening, these are memories.
They didn’t defeat you then, they won’t defeat you now.
breathe.

MY Views:

My comfort when going through PTSD flashbacks sometimes needs to be from a human voice outside of my raging head filled with memories and negative self talk. Sometimes, I just need a human to keep me grounded to the present. I believe the Bible has the answer to this. I do not want my heart and mind divided.

1 Corinthians 12
26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

As an abuse survivor that has suffered from every cognitive distortion, I have struggled with not being good enough – and with suicidal thoughts. For a few of my thoughts, I submit:

Like I said above, the episode where Tyler is crashing from the flashbacks of his torture, the Admiral, a Psychiatrist, gave him simple, exact support to pull him back to reality.
A human voice on which to focus, can break through the (enormously loud chaotic) noise in my head.
As a mental healt awareness advocate, this is great exposure to how someone feels going through an episode.
In case someone needs this, here are 21 Anxiety Grounding Techniques.

As a Christian, my healing is based on my faith, my relationship with Jesus and with the Word of God speaking into my life. That is evident in my blogs above. And, prayer, Bible Verse recital, and Worship songs, and the like are VERY important safety/grounding techniques for MY healing. I believe the Bible has the source of healing that is eternal. I do not want my heart and mind divided. I’ve added some Bible verses at the end, but not about mental health at this time.

Powerful women…wow. What a change from the damsel in distress women in the original Star Trek.
Over coming mistakes.
Overcoming abuse.
Overcoming life long ridicule.
and rising up, taking back your power, and using the past to empower your future.

MY views…….
While they are encouraging and inspirational – they do not fill me with the love of Jesus that is MY healing power.

1 Peter 2:9English Standard Version (ESV)
9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

You see, I need to remember that I belong to another…Another…and HIS light is a light that I desire…not the light of this world. Or any light that star trek can offer.

Luke 11:34-36English Standard Version (ESV)
34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness. 35 Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness. 36 If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright, as when a lamp with its rays gives you light.”

I’ve written many blogs about how to overcome the above issues with scripture, prayer and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Some are listed above. I believe that the Bible supports women rising up, taking back their power, and using the past to empower their future. I am one of them. I do not want my heart and mind divided.

Tolerance – all are one blood – no color seen by God. Acts 17:26
From a humanist point of view – the equality is refreshing. Including the very “normal” treatment of the prominent gay couple.

MY Views….
From a legal, and humanist point of view – this is great. From an American point of view, all are equal – We the People.
From MY Christian point of view –
all are equal before God, before salvation.
all human life is valuable to God – because he sent his son to die for the WHOLE WORLD.
all have the opportunity to be reconciled to God.
all have the opportunity to be members of the Kingdom of God.
And the method I believe in is through the Lord Jesus Christ’s death, burial and resurrection.

As with all countries – I believe every sovereign country has the right to choose who may enter their borders.
God(Jehovah, Yaweh, Yeshua, Jesus, Messiah, Emmanuel – the God that created the world, and created man, and gave His son, wholly God and wholly man to be the sacrifice for our sins, and indwells the believer with the Holy Spirit, also wholly God) – has given his requirements for entry…and that is to be a citizen.
To be a citizen, one has to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, renounce their sins, receive Him as Lord and Savior of their life, and live their life to glorify God until we meet him face to face.
I have followed the citizenship steps, and I am a citizen of the Kingdom of God.

Phillipians 3
18 For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

I believe the Bible, and I do not want my heart and mind divided.

CONS
The violence…period.
the deceit being rewarded.
The gay couple.
The embracing of a very over the top women’s movement.

MY views.
So, basically, my cons are pretty much that this show does not promote my beliefs.
I didn’t expect it to.
But I do need to make a choice…or be divided.

James 1:8King James Version (KJV)
8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

1 Kings 18:21
Elijah came near to all the people and said, “How long will you hesitate between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.” But the people did not answer him a word.

Isaiah 29:13
The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.

James 4:8 gives me the solotion:

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Isaiah 55:7
let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

Isaiah 5:20
“How terrible it will be for those who call evil good and good evil, who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness, who substitute what is bitter for what is sweet and what is sweet for what is bitter!”

For the Christian, it is not as easy as just turning off the tvs how.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh.
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
6 being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.

2 Peter 2:
20 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.

Psalm 106:35English Standard Version (ESV)
35 but they mixed with the nations
and learned to do as they did.

Hosea 7

Those chapters are convicting, but here is the verse that really settles things in my heart:

Luke 9:
62 Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Yes, those words are in red, because they are the words of Jesus.
So, while I like some of the ways that this show is going, and I do not like the raw ness of it with the violence and such, I will discontinue my All-Access membership before I am charged, and choose not to watch this.

This will have an affect on my other watching habits, as well.
You see – the impression I’ve been given for this year is
“the end is near,
the time short…be like Jesus.”

There are so many more eternally profitable things I can be doing with my time.
There are so many more things that could help me to grow into Jesus’s likeness.
Star Trek is not one of them.
many of the things I’ve watched are not.

Why do you watch what you watch?
Does it further you toward your passions?
Does it help you to fulfill your calling?
If not…what do you choose?

Joshua 24:14-15
14 “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:14-15

Joshua 24:14-15

I admitted at the beginning that I was a trekky – that is my confession, and I am not going to stop being a trekky.
I’m a child of God – and I have a job to do – and being a trekky keeps my heart divided and distracted.
Several things I’ve allowed into my life are causing division and distraction.
The time is short, the end is near…I need to get about the job at hand, the purpose for which I was saved.

 

Jim & Christi 2017

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
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Midnight Musings – What did you see? 1-10-2018

Often, I am given things in the middle of the night. Most of the time, I just lie there and beg to go back to sleep! Recently, I’ve been convicted to share these ramblings, and I’ve had some encouraging responses. So – here goes obedience! ~Christi
 

This is day 10/of 100
And this fits into my One Word Phrase – Be Like JESUS

What do you see
When you see me?
What do I do that
Sets your heart free?

Why do you share
Your hurts, pains, and joys
Your deepest regrets,
Your favorite toys?

Why do you speak to me
As if I’m your friend
As if I’ve known you
World without end

I’m only a person
That speaks from my heart
Does that help you open
Does that help you start

To share from your heart
And to share from your life
All you joys and your triumphs,
Your struggles and strife?

Why do you talk to me
As if I’m a friend
When we’ve never met before
And our time will now end.

Is it the safety of
not seeing me again?
Is it the freedom of
Anonymity for the win?

I don’t have the answers,
But I do have a heart
I will listen and share
And I’ll do my part.

You are human,
And lovely, with special worth
You are the only you
That is here on the earth.

I know that you need love
I know that you care
Your job is your passion,
Your life is your prayer.
Because I am open,
You feel free to share,

I used to think it was
Gabriel my dog
That enabled me to talk
Not get lost in the fog

But Gabriel is gone now,
And I’m now all alone,
But still people talk to me
By speech, text and phone.

I have no answers,
But I do know the One
That will listen with wisdom,
And He gave up His son.

It’s the only answer
I have for my trials,
And I know that he’s keeping
My tears in pure vials.

I want to show Jesus,
To all that I meet,
I want to spread love, joy,
And mercy and peace.

I don’t always feel it
I often will fail
Especially to those
Who know me so well.

But those that just met me
And open their hearts,
And tell me their stories,
Explain their life’s charts.

I don’t know why
I don’t know how come
But I do know I have to
Listen until done.

We are the hands, feet and tears
Of Jesus the king,
Aren’t we his ears,
And his tongue – so to sing?

To sing of his praises
To sing of his love
To share with others
The gifts from above.

He puts me in places
I don’t want to be
And there is a person
That needs to be free.

Sometimes, it’s just chatter
Sometimes, it’s their grief
Sometimes, it’s their need
To have someone believe

Someone that listens,
And gives them the boost
To know what their heart needs,
To know what to choose.

I’m not very good at it,
But God disagrees
Because he keeps bringing
The broken to me.

The hurting, the tired,
The ones that may scream,
The joyful, the funny,
That share me their dream.

I don’t know my purpose
I don’t know my cause
I do know my Savior
And I love him because

He loved me before
I had something to love
And because of His love,
I’ll share with the ones

The ones he brings to me,
The ones that I meet
The ones that my heart sees
And connected are we.

It’s not our religion
It’s not of our creed
It’s because of the love
That sets us both free.

No judgement, No hatred
No critical crap
Just love and respect,
We know there’s no trap.

What we say, we respct
What we feel, we empower
And if it will last,
With love, we will shower.

Friends come and go,
Some stay with forever
But friends become friends
When we learn how to share.

I hope what I have
Is the light that does shine,
The salt that does season,
And the love so divine.

No I’m not Jesus –
Not in the flesh,
But I try to be like him,
I do try my best.

Your stories are safe
Within my heart wall
I won’t share them, blare them,
Or use them at all.

Jesus is
a tower of strength,
The righteous run
to Him and are safe.

So to be like Jesus,
I must not share
But hold your stories,
With the greatest of care.

But how do you know
When we’ve only just met
Is it Jesus you feel?
Is it God’s love that is set?

I didn’t say Jesus,
No shirt did declare,
How did you know
In my heart was a prayer?

A prayer that each day,
I could make someone smile,
And let them know Jesus
Can make life worthwhile.

That peace is an option,
That grace is a given,
That forgiveness is chosen,
And Love comes from heaven.

Yes there’s a price,
But one must know the wares
Eternal with Jesus,
And support for my cares.

The price it is worth it,
The cost oh so high,
But to have Lord Jesus
Beside me and nigh

Is worth my whole life
It is worth my whole being,
And because of His help,
‘Neath His shadow I sing.

I hope you see Jesus in me.
© MCWildman 2018

 

Jim & Christi 2017

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” –
from My Utmost for His highest

I want to thank

for the ability to search the Bible online.

Some artwork is from me – ChristArtist. It is copyrighted – by me. Please do not share it without my permission. The same goes for my written work.
Some artwork is from ChristArt – not me! I have purchased a membership, and the art is copyrighted by them.
Some artwork is from FreeClipArt Library. copyrights belong to them.

I’d love to stay in touch with you – we are working on email subscriptions…sign up! 
Soon, we will have a gallery for the art I have created by the hand of God.

There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.