Sometimes, I wonder if God’ hears me.
I believe that Job felt this way….
Job 3 is full of what I consider a desire to die…life is so rough.

Don’t get me wrong…Job had it rough!!!

And, in rereading Job 5 – I realize that many of these scriptures are ones that we use to encourage one another in the midst of trials!

So, as God would have it, the other morning, I happened to get a Facebook Messenger with my new friend, Becky Mingus, who is currently serving as Principal in the School at Naomi’s Heart Mission.

Here is that chat:

ME: Thank you. Still no answers for why I was bleeding! But the pain is going away.
Becky:That’s a blessing.

ME: Trying to stable my neck without surgery. .. because surgery would be near December finance wise. And I’d rather use t that for a trip to the Philippines!
Becky: Absolutely!! This will definitely be all God if it is to happen.

ME: I know. Maybe I should stop praying for him to glorify himself in my life! Lol!
Becky: Never!! The biggest prayer and God dreams are what honor Him the most. Glorifying himself in our lives, releasing the Spirit, that is where all the fun is. Otherwise think how dull our walks would be.

ME: I have been used to raise the dead, heal the sick, cast out demons and of course preach the gospel. Sometimes I get discouraged that I can’t lay hands on myself and be healed. But I know that this is my spiritual fitness training. I know that Father has plans for me. .. and I just have to trust.
Becky: And trusting and waiting are always the hardest part. They are where I struggle the most. I know He can. But why doesn’t he? Ugh. James 1:2-5 has become one of my newest scriptures to read, reread, reread again. That and 2 Cor 12:9-10. Oh, so much still to learn.

ME: Oh those verses. .. perfect work? Sigh…. but to be complete. .. in Him. … what a beautiful promise! And, to recognize that there is nothing in me that is any good, except the spirit of God that lives here. .. and to rejoice in his strength manifested in spite of, or because of my weakness. .. this works true humility… humble myself under the mighty hand of God. .. and he shall lift me up. .. not to glorify ME, but to glorify his name!
We are created for good works. .. to glorify HIM! And that only comes worth letting patience have her perfect work!
Becky: But it is always a struggle for me. So wonderful but always stretching me and moving be deeper. We are being trained up – through the trials, through the struggles to be more ready for our futures – to do even more for Him, to be able to stand stronger, love deeper, walk more determinedly.

ME: Exactly. I thank God that there are those times of rejoicing in the presence of our enemies after walking through the valley of the shadow of death. The purpose for training is to prepare us for the next adventure with God. Sometimes I’d rather stay on the mountain top. .. not go back down in the valley of testing… but it is the testing that grows is into the fulness of Christ. Suffering through training is not fun. .. but I try to keep my eye on the prize. It had been my hearts cry from the day I have my life to Jesus to work with orphans, to work in missions, and then later, to work with women, and in jails! Young mothers. ..I believe these are desires given to me by Jesus. .. and it will be his glory to male or happen!
Did I just interrupt your prayer time?

Becky: No. Haven’t started that yet. But this has been wonderful discussion. I am going to email you a devotion. You would like it. It has big words in it but it is powerful. Yes, I had to use a dictionary. I have translated it into words I can understand and I read it all the time. LOL!
I’ll be praying. God is going to open amazing doors for you – maybe none you are expecting, but amazing all the same. One more verse for the evening: Isaiah 64:3-4. Oh. It is morning there. Enjoy your day!

ME: May God bless your rest! I thank God for my trials. .. because I am not who I used to be. .. and I thank God that he is not through with me!

Goodnight! Much love and hugs!

Prior to this discussion, I had been praying in the midst of my trials.
I could even be accused of praying some of the same types of prayers that Job did –

“Let me die…my life is but a vapor…I cannot do anything!”

“Why have you allowed this/these calamities to fall upon ME?”

“My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

That may be a little dramatic – but, honestly, I was tired of the continuous trials.
I even wrote about it…..How Many is Too Many?
And this was before several more trials were added!

The point?

James 1: 2- 4
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Patience.
Perfection
Entire
Wanting Nothing

Yes – but – rejoice in TRIALS?

2 Cor 12:9-10
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

This is Jesus Speaking to Paul…and Paul sharing it with us.
Paul is a pretty good role Model….once he got his head turned around. Actually, his passion as a Jew was a pretty good example as well!

His glory is shown when I am at the end of my ability.
I couldn’t heal my eye – but he could, and did!
I couldn’t conceive and carry a baby to term – but he did it, five times!
I couldn’t walk when I was paralyzed in the Navy hospital – but he could touch the swelling, and cause it to go down – and cause my leg to grow out so that I could walk.

I have not gone to school for art…but he has called me to paint.
I have not gone to school to write…but he has called me to share.

IN another chat with a dear sister, this verse was shared:

Is 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

I shared with this someone that this was my life verse….
WAIT UPON THE LORD!
renew strength
mount up with wings as eagles
run, not be weary
walk, and not faint.

And God made that real to me in the Navy Boot camp…when I fell, and was paralyzed for a week.
My Petty Officer believed in me, and let me back in the unit – unheard of!
My God’s grace, I completed the physical training, twice a day, and I was able to run for my final test!
I was chosen from the group of 80 females to paint the cinder block outside our unit door – to memorialize what this unit stood for.
I painted a mountain scene, with an eagle – with this verse.
Until Orlando RTC was closed – God’s glory spoke through on a wall in a Navy Barracks.
BECAUSE of my trial with paralysis and herniated discs from a fall, the third day in boot camp.
BECAUSE of my trial, I was chosen to paint, and God was glorified.

My friend Becky ended our Bible Study with

Is 64:3-4
When thou didst terrible things which we looked not for, thou camest down, the mountains flowed down at thy presence.
For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him.

I’m not crazy about KJV on this verse…but the gist of it is that things happen, but they happen by God’s hand(look back at Job 1-2!)
And we don’t understand it…but, God prepares things for us, who wait upon him!

They aren’t always pretty – but then,
those biology exams weren’t pretty either, but I know that they were worth something!
Learning Spanish wasn’t pretty – but it has helped me to communicate and minister to some!
Learning to ice skate had to be ugly at times…and breaking my arm having fun definitely hurt – but I remember the fun I had on ice skates!

Ps 23:4 –
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

comes before

Ps 23:5 & 6 –
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

and everyone knows:

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

My question was – Does God hear me?
My cry was WHY?
And God created a time that a friend in the Phillipines was online the same time as I was, and we were able to have a Bible discussion – on the opposite sides of the earth!

YES – God hears!
And He answered me – through one of His children.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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