Tag Archives: Blessed

Spiritual Walking Steps – Day 4 – what’s inside?

Because of yesterday’s PAIN, today, I had an MRI on my left ankle.

On the outside, the doctor could see the funny lumps that had grown up.  With an x-ray, he could see the goofy bone issues.  The doctor could not see what is going on inside the soft tissues of my foot with just an x-ray. Therefore, he ordered an MRI.

MRI’s are really neat inventions.   With an MRI, he can see MORE than I’d like him to see, but at least, he can see this specific problem, and decide how to treat it.  As I laid in the machine, meditating, and trying to keep my foot still for 30 minutes, I thought about what is inside me.

On the outside – you can see that I’m 5’2″, 240 pounds, female, caucasion, brown hair with silver streaks, and glasses.  You might get the idea that I’m a ‘goody’ type of person – since I’m not wearing revealing clothes.  This would sort of fit with the scripture 1 Tim 2:9

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

Of course, different brands of Christianity, or faiths in general, have differing definitions of modesty. But modesty in dress  is on the outside.  One can dress modestly, but have a lustful heart.

From the outside, we can judge a little of the inside, because of the fruit that surrounds us.

Matt 7:16- 17 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.

X-rays are for seeing what is inside a person.  Well, not really all of the story, but x-rays can see the structure.  What is holding up all the other stuff?  This is the foundation of the body.

1 Cor 3:11 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

X-rays can also see how we are building up that foundation, by the strength of the building around it.

1 Cor 3:12-13 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.

We cannot know, totally, what is on the inside of a person, but that is what we are commanded to work on!  We need the Fruit of the Spirit, to imitate the character of God, to build with gold, silver, precious stone, and even clothe ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit:

1 Peter 3:3-4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

We can judge some about others, but the most important judging is of ourselves.

John 7:24 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

Matt 7:1-2 Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Righteous judgement, in my opinion, is judging as Jesus did…by their fruit.  The other key is that, we will be judged by the same measure…so make sure the beam is out of our own eye FIRST!

That brings me to, how can I know what’s inside me? What’s inside MY heart?

Jer 17:9 The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?

It’s hopeless, right? Of course not…

Ps 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

With God, all things ARE possible, even the searching, and judging of our own hearts…and HE will lead me in the way EVERLASTING! But WHAT is inside?

1 Cor 3:16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and [that] the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

When Jesus was resurrected, all the gang wanted Him to stay around, and He said:

John 16:7 Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

The Comforter is the third person of the GodHead, the Holy Spirit that indwells the saints. YOU can do the searching for the doctrines about how the Holy Spirit comes into a person! I’m just saying, we NEED the Holy Spirit abiding in this temple!  Jesus promised SO MANY GIFTS from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit!

John 14:16-17 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; [Even] the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

John 14:26 But the Comforter, [which is] the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

We ARE the temple of the Holy Ghost…HOLY Spirit…and the whole reason for the indwelling is for our comfort, teaching and remembrance! EDIFICATION!!!

Folks can put on all sorts of stuff on the outside, and folks can act all kinds of holy, but without the Holy Spirit within, when we go for our Eternal MRI, God will see nothing…because the Holy Spirit within is the spiritual evidence of Jesus Christ as our Savior.

John 15:26 But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, [even] the Spirit of truth, which proceedeth from the Father, he shall testify of me:

These steps are not necessarily going to be in order of priority, but rather, in order that God gives them to me to write about.

    • Step 1 – Know your need for a Savior – Jesus Christ
    • Step 2 – Recognize that all good things are a gift from God
    • Step 3 – Cry out to God when you need help
    • Step 3.5 – HE will bring people into your fellowship
    • Step 4 – Know that YOU ARE the temple of the Holy Spirit – and make sure that HE dwells within!

    Today, in my spiritual walk, I’m checking to make sure that the Holy Spirit is dwelling within this temple…and I think I may have some house cleaning to do!

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,
    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi
    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

     


     

    1. Weight Watchers – day 4
    2. 100 Spiritual Steps- blog – day 4
    3. Chronological Bible reading…
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- gotta start!

    Spiritual Walking – Day 3 – PAIN!

    After my walk yesterday, and some working around the apartment and such, I had a HUGE PAIN in my left foot.

    I was limping…badly.

    My WALK  was affected – in many ways!

    1. I was having trouble remembering that my mouth is not connected to my foot! Nor do I want my foot in my mouth!
    2. I was having trouble moving from point A to point B. I wanted to just sit, lay, stop and stay – but I wasn’t really wanting to pray.
    3. God’s grace comes to those who ASK – and as we sat with friends, I WAS ASKING so as not to harm anyone with my mouth.
    4. sometimes, God wants you to sit, stay and pray – and we don’t listen so good!
    5. We can’t do this alone…not even Me & Jesus…we are in a fellowship – fellows in a ship!  And I needed some ‘fellas’ to help me out in many ways…and in this blog, I am going to give several shout outs to the fellas(and sistas) that have helped me out today!

    This morning, I awoke, and I still could not put weight on this foot…and I was having an inner argument with God.

    “I do not need this now, Lord!”

    SILENCE

    “I know You know what is best for me Lord – I mean, I do not WANT this now, Lord!”

    SILENCE

    “I am afraid of going through another round of foot surgeries, Lord, and I don’t think I can handle it on top of everything else that is going on”

    SHOUT OUT TO MY HUSBAND, JIM!

    My husband was praying – and he said “I pray that you will go back to bed for a nap, and wake up, and the pain will be gone, and the bump will be gone or much smaller.”

    I had just confessed to him that I was trying to keep my tongue from evil…

    Ps 34:13 Keep MY tongue from evil, and MY lips from speaking guile.

    Ps 141:3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.

    I didn’t believe…but I confessed that I would trust in the Lord.  I apologized each time I snapped…and I reminded myself, just because I’ve confessed I’m having trouble with my tongue, doesn’t mean I need to abuse his grace by letting my tongue fly!

    Then, verses came up on Face book:

    SHOUT OUTS TO MY ONLINE ENCOURAGERS!

    From Jim Wildman’s FB page:

    Gods standards have not changed. If we want to abide, we must walk His way.
    Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. http://bible.us/Ps15.1.KJV

    From Larry T Crafter’s FB page:

    No one enjoys having to wait..but as a friend of mine loves to remind me; ” Be Still and know that I Am God!” Waiting teaches us patience and allows us to see God’s plan unfold. As we wait, we learn acceptance, steadfastness and faith that God is in control! When the cloud tarried… then the children of Israel… journeyed not” (Num. 9:19). I will stand still until God’s will is clear!
    Blessings

    And this prayer ring from Cheryl Miller’s FB page:

    Family I need God to do something for me, and I’m pretty sure many of you need him to do something for you as well. So just for today, how about you pray for my breakthrough and I will pray for yours…family lets move heaven today with our prayers. The word of God clearly states, where 2 or 3 come together in my name I am there, (Matthew 18:20) so come on family lets get down on our knees and move heaven today.

    Then, this appreciation note from AntoinitaViolette on FB:

    Today is your appreciation day, not the only one…but, just wanted to tell you that you have been an encouragement to me. Thank God for you, and thank you for saying, Yes! to the Lord…daughter of The Most High and Royal King, making you of the houselHold!Amen!

    How was I supposed to continue in this funk, if the Lord is putting words like these together on Facebook, just to hit me in the eyes, and in the heart, and remember HIS WORD?

    And I got an email in one of my groups…where a dear lady reminded me that we are all in the same boat:

    Well, girlfriends, it sounds like we can all relate!!! Is there something crazy in the air? phases of the moon? unrelenting demands? rogue hormones? Let’s band together in “fellowship”–fellows, or rather females, all in the same boat–and encourage one another! Keep your heads up, eyes on the Prize, resting fully in His promises as we just “do the next *right* thing”!!! ~MT

    Another friend sent email – and she really ‘got it’.

    Christi – I know you did not need this. I am praying that this would heal quickly or just disappear. ~ Love, CB

    This friend, Cathie, even went so far as to ask me, in chat, if I had cried out to God! The honest answer was I’d yelled out, I’d begged out, but did I cry out?  I don’t know if my heart was in a right place,  but yes..before my nap(per my husband’s instructions) I told the Lord, cried out to the Lord – “I don’t think I can handle this! Please, take it away, or give me the strength to bear it!”

    What have I learned?

    1. The Lord can put a watch over my mouth
    2. I have to MOVE toward’s God – because HE didn’t move away from me
    3. I have to CRY OUT to God for HIS help; I have to ASK for help.
    4. I need to wait until I know God’s will, Be Still
    5. I can’t do this by myself.  I am in a ship – a fellowship

    I don’t know if this is 1 step or 5…but the key is that I did beg out to God…and HE put the words in several people’s mouths and hearts – to encourage me in my walk today!

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,
    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi
    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

     

    1. Weight Watchers – day 3
    2. 100 Spiritual Steps- blog – day 3
    3. Chronological Bible reading…
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- gotta start!

     

    Spiritual Walking Steps – Start Over – Day 1

    I started a blog a while ago about 100 Spiritual Walking Steps.
    I apologized in a blog, for not making sure that I kept that blog going as I traveled.
    Well – I hope to start over…

    Walking – a spiritual walk.
    Why does walking have such a deep meaning to me?

    Well – while in the Navy, I fell and was paralyzed from the waist down for several months – because of inflammation around five discs that were slipped. While I am very good with a wheelchair…I really appreciate the ability to walk.

    After many surgeries on various parts of my legs, last summer culminated in three surgeries on my right ankle. After each surgery, I had weeks that I could not walk – wheelchair bound, and beholden to others to help me get around, and do things. I was very good with the wheelchair, but I wanted to walk on my own two feet.

    Last December, when my daughter was going to give birth to our second grandchild, I was not permitted to travel, because of the recovery of my ankle. Needing a wheelchair would be a burden to them, as well as not being able to walk up and down the stairs in their house, or walk my own dog. This was very devastating to me.

    Therefore – physically, I want to walk! But, while I have not been able to walk, I have thought about my Spiritual Walk.

    The Psalm that comforts me the most, whenever I am in a trial, is Psalm 23.

    The LORD is MY shepherd; I shall not want.
    He makes me to lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside the still waters.
    He restores MY soul: He leads me in the paths of righteousness for HIS name’s sake.
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death: I will fear no evil: for YOU are with me; YOUR rod and YOUR staff, they comfort me.
    YOU prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: You anoint my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
    Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

    For me, the main points in this psalm are about walking, following, and yielding to the shepherd.
    The FIRST step, is making sure that the LORD Jesus Christ IS YOUR Shepherd!
    I did that in August of 1969.
    The Plan of Salvation is simple.

    The thing is – just like exercise, every day, I have to wake up, and say “Jesus, I choose YOU, and YOUR path, TODAY.”

    The other TRUTH is, there are times during the day that I have to say “oops, I have walked off the path. Jesus, I’m sorry, I choose to walk on YOUR path again.”  It seems that the first step seems to often need to be repeated.

    ***I am not speaking about salvation needing to be repeated – I’m talking about needing to notice where one is walking, and making adjustments when needed to get back in focus with Jesus Christ.***

    So – Step 1 for a Spiritual Walk is choosing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and choosing to walk in His paths daily.  Maybe that’s steps 1 & 2…but they are the ONLY steps that are important when it all boils down to it.

    For Today, I choose Jesus.  My plan is to choose HIS paths every second of every day – but I know that I will fall.  And just like walking, when you fall, you need to get back up…but I’ll talk about that later.

    My verse for today:

    Josh 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.


    Thanks for joining me in this journey,
    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi
    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

     

    1. Weight Watchers – day 1
    2. 100 Spiritual Steps- blog – day 1
    3. Chronological Bible reading…
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- starting NOW

    Walking in the Spirit – sometimes it’s just messy

    In the last few months, I’ve been focusing on walking in the spirit – the SPIRIT of God, that is.

    One month in Germany started with walking through the whole security issues with an assistance dog, and abuse issues if we needed the pat down screening.

    Hohenekan Castle Stairs

    Some of the stairs in the Hohenekan Castle

    Then, walking up hill EVERYWHERE in Germany! Stairs to my room, UP to go to the bathroom. UP to take Gabe to the bathroom. UP to any castle.

    Then, the walk back to the airport, with folks that don’t speak English all the time. We got through security, and wheeled to the plane just before it flew off…PERFECT!  God was with us!

    Now, the walk of moving out of an apartment – into the RV for the next phase of our lives committed to God’s work.

    The Burnt Wires

    The wires burnt right under the brown spot on the cover

     

    Burnt Electrical Box

    See the brown spot, where the heat was starting to come through?

    But, we had a fire in an electrical box, which endangered our lives, and the RV, and everything we had moved into it.

    Now, we are walking around an apartment with little to no furniture – because it’s all gone!

     

    Why did I go to Germany? To bless our daughter and son-in-law, and to be blessed by them.
    Was there a struggle? Yes…
    Was it worth it? Yes…
    Would I do it again? Yes…
    But some steps were VERY hard! But that was last week….

    NEXT….. today’s walk….

    Why did we give away our stuff? To bless others that they might bless others in return.
    Was there a struggle? Not until now, when we’re sitting in the empty apartment…until repairs are done.
    Was it worth it? We are in the middle of this valley – we cannot see the ‘worth’, though we can trust that God is faithful to HIS promise.
    We can count the blessings:

    1. I was watching a movie, Jim was working later than usual on the computers…therefore: We didn’t go to bed at the usual time, and put on our CPAP’s and miss the burning electrical smell.
    2. Jim is an electrical computer guy…he was not about to quit looking for it…he tore off some plywood to find the burning box.
    3. Jim smelled the burning…many times, he doesn’t smell the smells I smell…but this time, he smelled it, and reacted.
    4. we are under warranty…and so is the RV!
    5. we have two more weeks of an apartment…before we have to be OUT!
    6. we have the mattress out of the RV to sleep on…on the floor…just like when we first got married!

    Was this worth it? Well..I think I’m too close to it, right in the middle of it right now…but I KNOW that God’s work in our lives is ALWAYS worth it…because it brings us closer and closer to HIM. And, this has caused a lot of prayer time and personal reflection in Jim’s and my life in the last 18 hours.

    Would we do this again? – where I’m at right now…NO WAY! This was a valley of the shadow of death! IF, IF, IF…if we’d gone to bed at the normal time, in the normal way…we would be a story on the front page.

    These steps are VERY HARD! I’d rather climb to the top of the Heidelberg Castle twice, maybe three times…maybe up and down all day…to not have to have this feeling that we could have been burned to death.(confirmed by the service manager that looked at the thing).

    BUT – GOD!
    That’s the story.
    BUT GOD – had me decide to watch a movie that kept us up longer than usual.
    BUT GOD – had Jim working with the computers, and notice the smell.
    BUT GOD – the thing didn’t burst into flames when we opened the container to spray it.
    BUT GOD – we are alive – we did not die – we are here to declare the glory of God.

    This morning, as I walked with God, I asked “What happened to Psalm 91..no evil shall befall your dwelling?”
    “Did your dwelling burn?”
    “Well, no…But…”
    “But what? Why didn’t it burn?”
    “Because YOU had your hand on it, and us, and YOU prevented ANY evil from coming near our dwelling.”

    …insert humble pie, and grateful heart…..

    We could have been out on our trip to Ohio…and have to spend the time in a hotel.
    We could have been in it…as I’ve said.

    Ps 91:7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; [but] it shall not come nigh thee.

    Personally, I think ‘at thy side” and “at thy right hand” is pretty “nigh” me…but, the point is…it isn’t ME!

    Ps 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

    Walking “through the valley of the shadow of death” seems to be surrounded by evil…the key is “I will fear no evil”. The evil can surround me…but I am dwelling in the Secret Place of the Most High…and in His shadow, I am safe!!!

    Walking this one out means to face a fear I have dreamt about  all of my life…dying in a fire.

    • will this get fixed so that it won’t happen again?
    • is there something else that could happen?
    • how can we make sure that we don’t burn in this RV?
    • Is this safe?

    Where is my trust?  In what/Whom is my faith?  Was this something that we did wrong?  Or was this an attack to test us?  Or was this just something that happened..that we have to learn from, and walk on?

    The main issue here is in Whom do I place my trust? And, I have to admit, I have placed my trust in safety measures…rather than in Jesus Christ.  I’m NOT saying to practice unsafe things, to tempt fate, or test God, but make sure that once having done the practical measures…the trust is in Jesus.

    This thing should not have even been working…it was to connect to a generator THAT WE DO NOT HAVE!!! And yet, power went through it and burned up the wires, and started to burn the box that held it. All the safety features FAILED! In fact, there were NO fuses, we did not trip ANY of the safety features!

    BUT GOD DID NOT FAIL!!!

    Here are my confessions of faith…to walk on through this valley:

    Matt 6:19-21 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:(OR FIRES DESTROY-author)
    But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
    For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

    John 15: 1-14
    verses 4&5 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

    Ps 91:1-2 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

    Prov 18:10 The name of the LORD [is] a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.

    Ps 27:4 One [thing] have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

    Ps 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

    I’m walking…I’m moving forward…and God just isn’t finished with me yet.  I’m rechecking my spiritual armor, checking on my spiritual focus, and my spiritual roadmap…and keeping in close contact with my Spirit Guide…not the wierd one, The Holy Spirit( John 14:16, John 14:26, John 15:26), given to me, by Christ Jesus to teach, comfort, and guide me along this path of life.  Maybe, there is something special to this walk!

    Eph 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

    Doing a search for walk and Spirit starts up a whole ‘nother discussion…So, I’m thinking that when I get through this valley, God will have done some more boot camp work on my Spirit walk, and I will look back and say it was worth it.  I don’t know if I’d say I’d do it over again…but then again, the repeat parts are walking with the Lord through the valley of death…and on the other end, there is that table set for us in the presence of our enemies, anointing with oil, and cup overflowing.

    As I walked to the top of each of the castle mounds…I actually thought, I want to do this ONCE…and not do it again.  And yet, I did it again, for the next castle, and the next.

    I choose to walk with the Lord, on the mountain tops AND IN THE VALLEYS, over and over and over, until HE is through with me, and takes me home.

    After Jesus told the disciples about the coming comforter, He said this:

    John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

    I remember the Mandie  book series – and whenever they got into a rough spot, she would quote this verse:

    Ps 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

    As I sat down to write out my thoughts…I was focused on Ps 91 and 23…but, through this writing, as I’ve confessed my fears, and confirmed my trust in Jesus Christ, God has led me to John 14, to talk about being led by the Holy Spirit.  Interestingly enough, as I am walking through the testing of the possible loss of my dwelling…here is the beginning of John 14:

    John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
    John 14:2 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if [it were] not [so], I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
    John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, [there] ye may be also.

    Isn’t that just like God?  I’m worrying about my little RV, while He’s reminding me that HE has a mansion for me…and He’s preparing it for me…and what’s more….

    John 14:4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

    He has shown me the way…and if I forget, or am confused…The Comforter – John 14:26…shall teach me and bring back all things to my memory.

    Ps 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

    Not the things of this world…but being led on the path that takes me to that mansion prepared just for me.  Now, for that, I’ll walk up a mountain again!

    Zugspitze

    The highest peak in Germany - Zugspize

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,
    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi
    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.


    1. 100 days of moving challenge – starting June 1
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – start again, June 1
    3. Chronological Bible reading…
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- starting NOW

    The First 100 Days – day 87 – Locked OUT!

    This past weekend, I removed my house key, and my garage door key fob from my usual huge collection of keys.
    It was sitting on the table next to me last night.
    This morning, I went out for a walk with my husband and dog, with my cell phone documenting the walk for me! Jim had the keys.

    Because Jim took the walk with me, I wanted to give him a lift over to the park and ride to catch the bus. I grabbed my keys, my purse, and the dog and walked out to the truck. Jim locked the house behind us. I prayed with him at the bus station, and headed home. First clue something was wrong…I didn’t have the key fob to let me back into the community!!! So, I ignored the rules and drove in the open out gate after someone left. I drove up to my parking space, parked, grabbed everything, and told Gabe to get out…and then, it hit me…my house keys are on the same ring as the community AND garage door opener key fob! I was LOCKED OUT!

    Matthew 25:1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
    :2 And five of them were wise, and five [were] foolish.
    :3 They that [were] foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
    :4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

    Every one of them were virgins…all setting themselves apart, keeping themselves pure for the bridegroom.
    Every one of them had a lamp.
    Every one of them had access to oil. It doesn’t say they were poor and couldn’t get any oil, it says they were foolish and didn’t take any oil.

    Matt 25:5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
    :6And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

    I was so distracted by my conversation with Jim(my bridegroom), that I did not pick up the key ring that was RIGHT BY MY PURSE!!!  I left so fast, I didn’t even pick up my phone! No wonder this little purse is so light! I was NOT prepared!

    A few friends have had stories about locking themselves out recently. Each one had some resource that enabled them to protect themselves from danger.

    One got frostbite being barefoot in freezing weather, but she was able to get into her car to stay warm, and drive for help. She remembered a hidden key!
    Another thought she was locked out, in her night clothes. She borrowed clothes from the scarecrow, and later, found out that a door that was always locked, was open, leading straight into her kitchen. She wandered around, looking to break in, when the door was already open.
    Who would have thought that being locked out could be a life or death matter?
    Being locked out of heaven is a LIFE or DEATH matter!

    Matt 25:7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

    As the virgins awoke and trimmed their lamps – some found that they were without oil.  They had run out.

    As I came up to the gate, I found that I was without keys, or clicker.  The windows were all locked.  My options had run out!

    Matt 25: 8And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.
    :9 But the wise answered, saying, [Not so]; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

    The one friend was blessed. She was able to drive the car to WalMart, call her mom, and with various people involved, got help to get back into her new apartment.
    The other friend was blessed.  A door that was normally locked, was open, and she was free to walk right into her kitchen.
    This morning, I was blessed. I have a wonderful neighbor that I could wake up at 7:30am, and she let me in, gave me water to drink, and we had a great hour and a half of visiting.

    Not so much for the virgins that were not prepared.

    Matt 25:9 But the wise answered, saying, [Not so]; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.
    ;10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

    The door was shut.
    Locked out.
    Intense desire to get IN.
    No way to do it alone.

    The one friend – with phone calls, and a friend’s Dad, she got a key that was able to get her back into her apartment.
    The other friend – someone left a door unlocked, and she was able to get right in.
    I was able to go to the Office, and one of the ladies gave me a copy of my key, and I was able get back in.

    The five ill prepared virgins couldn’t get in. They needed the key!

    Matt 25:11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
    :12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

    The friend that needed to get back into her office had her ID verified in a casual way, by meeting her friend’s dad for help.
    The other friend owned the house…she knew who she was.
    When I went to the office, I have to give them my ID, to hold until I brought the copies back. They wanted proof of who I am!

    The virgins that did not MEET the Bridegroom BEFORE the entrance to the wedding feast WERE NOT KNOWN, and therefore they WERE NOT PERMITTED IN. Only this time, it’s not just a party, it’s eternal.

    THEY WERE LOCKED OUT! They didn’t have the key.

    What was the key? Knowing the Bridegroom.
    Simply:

    John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
    :17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

    It wasn’t the Bridegroom’s fault that the five virgins were left outside. They did not prepare, and were not ready, they did not endure to the end.

    If we do not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, it’s not because we have not been given everything needed to do so, it’s because we have been lazy, not preparing, and not choosing that which leads us to the narrow gate.

    John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

    Today, I got so distracted, I didn’t stop to think, and I had to avail upon the help of others to get into my home.

    Someday, I will walk to the gate of heaven, and again, I will have to avail upon the help of another to get into my eternal home. The blood of Jesus Christ redeemed me from my sin, IF I apply it. The KEY to entering into the wedding feast of the Lamb of God is to be WASHED by His blood, CLOTHED in the wedding garment of white, and KNOWN by HIM.
    I do not want to allow the distractions of this world to cause me to run out of oil in those final moments.
    By faith, I continue to choose this path, and I look forward to the day that He comes, and then, in the celebration of His reign, I will enter in with HIM, as His bride.

    Everyone can enter in. Everyone has John 3:16. No one has to be left outside. Choose ye, this day, whom ye shall serve.

    Matt 25:13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,
    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi
    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

    1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 87 – walked the dog!
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
    3. 90 days Bible Reading – Luke
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD

    The First 100 days – day 83 – Protection

    Psalm 91 – the Protection Psalm.

    It’s called the Soldier’s Psalm. You can print it out at Lamppost Publishing. It is said that it was prayed by the 91st Brigade and they suffered no casualties.

    I want to believe that this is psalm is a promise that is absolute.

    ~~~Especially this part~~~
    Ps 91:3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
    and from the deadly pestilence.
    4 He will cover you with his pinions,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
    5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
    6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
    nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
    ~~~~and this part~~~~
    Ps 91:11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways.
    12On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.

    Yes there are the qualifiers:

    vs 1 dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    vs 2 says to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
    vs 9 has made the Lord your dwelling place—
    vs 9 has made the Most High, your refuge
    vs 14 holds fast to God in love
    vs 15 knows MY(God’s) name.

    I suppose that if I walked perfectly, without sin, then nothing would happen to me, to hurt me…right? We always have the promises in Deuteronomy 28. Even that comes with qualifiers:

    Deut 28:1 And it shall come to pass, if
    a. thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God,
    b. to observe [and]
    c. to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:

    Are we really supposed to be protected from all the evil that is in the world?  If everything went right for Christians, we’d have no problem evangelizing, or would we?  When the Jews, who followed God’s cleansing laws, didn’t get the diseases around them, they were attacked for calling on their God to attack those that got sick!  When a family has raised children that are obedient, respectful, God-fearing and God serving, others don’t say “Hey, how did you do that…I want my kids to be just like yours!”  Others say – you are too strict, you are too narrow minded…you are stunting your children’s growth, all the time their children are running amuck.

    My children are not the perfect God-fearing, missionary, ministry focused youth, so, I can say the above.  They had a problem.  They had a handicap. They had Jim and I for parents.  And, we are imperfect.  We have a fallen nature.  We made mistakes – probably more than even those we’d rather not broadcast!  So, we had injuries.  We had sickness.  We had financial issues.  We didn’t qualify for Deut 28.  We tried to abide under the shadow of the almighty, and dwell in the secret place…but we kept steppin’ out of the covering!  Because we ARE human!

    The Bible is not black and white. WHAT???!!!??? Is this CHRISTI writing???!!!???

    While there are these promises for protection, there ARE qualifications – cause and effect – consequences – and, um, freedom of choice – free will – which can turn into self will!

    Jesus was perfect…and those last few days were pretty painful to Him.  It was because of our sin.

    Is 53:5 But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

    Have you stopped transgressing?  I haven’t.
    Have you overcome all your iniquities?  I haven’t.

    Therefore, the chastisement of our peace was laid upon him, and he gave us peace.

    John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

    And by his STRIPES we are healed.

    1 Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

    WHOA! THERE’S MORE QUALIFIERS! Or is it the responsible reaction of gratitude?

    God KNEW we would still have trouble with our sinful nature…and gave us even MORE help!

    1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

    1 John 2:1-2 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for [the sins of] the whole world.

    Why am I contemplating this today?  There have been several incidents lately that have made me dig deeper into my understanding of God’s handling of my affairs.

    Today, I learned that my middle son almost lost his finger in a log splitting accident.

    Steve's finger, after log splitting accident

    I know he isn’t walking ‘perfectly’ with the Lord – just by what I know!  But, even though his finger was not protected, and the bone was cut in two – God DID protect him, and in his drugged state, he called and told my husband these ways, giving God the praise:

    1. it did not go all the way through…it has all the parts cut, and the bone broken…but missed the artery.
    2. He had gloves on. Grandson Brayden was with him and did not see much at all – was fine until the ambulance got there.
    3. Brayden’s mom was out there – a) they are trying to work out their relationship, b) she was able to take care of Brayden and Steve
    4. The doctor at the community hospital put it back on, then sent him to a bigger hospital…which was so impressed with her work, it did not need to be re reattached.
    5. They are sure that they can reattach tendons and such – he has a consult tomorrow (Friday)

    Stephen was praising God for all these ways that God protected him…and we join him in that praise and thanks!

    All of the mighty men and women of the Bible had ‘bad’ things happen to them in their lives.  How do I hold both the evidence of a fallen world(we don’t live in the Garden of Eden) with the promises of protection and provision?

    I Believe:

    1. God is Who He says He is.
    2. God can do what He says He can do.
    3. I am who God says I am
    4. I can do what He says I can do(all things through Christ!)
    5. God’s word is active and alive in me.

    from Beth Moore – Believing God.

    I believe that God’s Word – the Bible as we know it – is, well:

    2 Tim 3:16 All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

    Therefore, what seems to be a contradiction, is just a matter of digging deeper, to get understanding.

    Dog owners – have you watched the shows Dog Whisperer or It’s Me or the Dog?  To train a dog, you do not give them affection when they are doing the wrong thing.  You praise them when they are doing the right thing, and give them blessings called treats!  As humans we are just now learning this…maybe God knew it all along?

    Parents – are you familiar with such training as Positive Parenting? Actually, I have only heard rave reviews.  My training for child care at the YMCA utilized this type of training.  When a child is misbehaving, you do not give them the attention they are trying to obtain.  When the child is behaving you lay praise and adoration on thick!  You choose discipline that leads the child to an ability to self control, and eventually, other character qualities.  IBLP has a great training about Character Qualities. Another group, Character First has great resources as well.

    What’s my point? We’re not here to be protected from physical harm.  Noah lost everything in a flood!  And he was the only righteous man found!  Lot was protected from destruction.  Jesus was beaten, and crucified – and He was PERFECT.

    A child that ate candy all their life would have cavities.  Is that God’s fault? It’s a consequence of the choices(for a child, the parent’s).
    Lot’s family was delivered from the destruction, and because of their hearts, they then brought destruction upon themselves. It was THEIR choices!

    I have health issues because of how I have NOT taken care of this temple…that’s NOT God’s fault, that’s cause and effect. I can, however, use these ‘negatives’ to change things, and then ask God’s favor, grace and mercy to help me ‘get it right’.  After all, that’s God’s purpose – to have me run into His tower for protection, and dwell with Him!

    The spirit of the man is what is important. The purpose for anything in our lives is to make us more like Jesus.

    2 Tim 3:16 All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
    :17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

    1 Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

    1 John 2:1-2 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

    To me, the promise of protection is a ‘carrot’ that reminds me to DWELL under the shadow of the Almighty!
    To me, the promises of Deuteronomy 28 are ‘rewards’ for choosing to obey what God has shown me.

    YES – when something bad happens, I do check out my relationship with God first! Then, if I need to repent – I do it.  If I need to turn around, or ask forgiveness, or change something – I do it!

    I KNOW that my heavenly Father loves me, and gives me ONLY good gifts.  James 1:17
    I KNOW that bad things happen because of my fallen nature. James 1:13-16
    I KNOW that all things work together for my good….Romans 8:28(there’s a qualifier here!)
    I KNOW that God has a plan for my life – Jeremiah 29:11
    And that plan has been in effect since before I was born…Psalm 139:13-17, Jeremiah 1:5
    I KNOW that bad things happen, because of the fallen nature of the world…Romans 8:22

    I also know, by combining these scriptures and many others, that some perfect gifts come wrapped in bags of garbage.  It I toss them out, and complain about the garbage, I will never get that diamond, ruby, sapphire that is hidden in the midst of the garbage.  It’s just like those presents that people give with multiple boxes, filled with newspaper…only the gift at the end of this garbage bag is eternal…and growing closer to the Everlasting God!

    God’s ways are so much higher than ours. The foolishness of man(what confuses man) is the wisdom of God.

    Romans 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

    Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

    Col 2:6 As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, [so] walk ye in him:

    1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

    Does it make any sense that one person, totally void of any wrong doing, would take the death penalty for all the terrorists in the world? All the rapists? All the murderers? All the child abusers? All the kidnappers?  No.  It doesn’t make any sense to me.
    Does it make any sense that the death of one man could provide the choice for anyone, whosoever chooses, to be washed of all their crimes, and to start life anew – nothing hanging over them?  No.  It doesn’t make any sense to me.
    Does it make any sense that a person, to whom so much has been given, would go back to their crimes, and muck up the beautiful opportunities laid before them?  No.  It doesn’t make any sense to me.
    Does it make sense that the Bible has promises for perfect protection, as a result of perfect obedience? Yes.
    Does it make sense that a judge would give out leniency, mercy, and grace to criminals that break the laws of his jurisdiction? No. And yet, God blesses the just and the unjust every day.
    Does it make sense that a loving Heavenly Father would make a way for His erring children to come back into fellowship – and receive the blessing of His presence through Jesus Christ, our ambassador?  As a mother, this makes sense to me. As a citizen, I want the full application of the law! Put those ogres in prison!

    So, I have conflicts with what many take for granted in God’s word…and yet, I can hold the conflict of protection, with the bad things that happen together in my heart as both true. Why? Because Christianity IS FAITH! I may not be able to see the sense in what God has done, but I am so grateful for the ‘foolishness’ of God that has washed me from my sins, that I am willing to receive all the ‘foolishness’ of God as just far above my wisdom. Jesus asked the questioning Pharisees – Is it easier to heal or to forgive sins? In truth, it is much easier to heal…because forgiveness comes very hard! So, the greatest mystery is that God sent His Son to die on my behalf…everything else is just, well, faith!

    I have been guilty of asking “WHY ME?” or “WHY MY FAMILY?” at times…and, I have repented.  The question should be “WHY NOT ME?”  Why do you choose to look upon my family with grace and mercy, when we are not perfect?  Why didn’t I leave 2 seconds earlier and be in that huge accident right behind me?  Why didn’t my babies die at birth when things looked so bad? Why didn’t Jim lose his job, and we go for months on unemployment?  Why didn’t I get cancer?  Why not us?  Because, HE LOVES US!  And because HE loves us first, we love Him.

    Here is a passage from Isaiah – to just remind us what Jesus did for us…and can we take the little difficulties(as Paul said) and choose to count them but joy?(2 Cor 4:16; 2 Cor 11:23; Phil 3)

    Isa 53:1 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?
    Isa 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, [there is] no beauty that we should desire him.
    Isa 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
    Isa 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
    Isa 53:5 But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
    Isa 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

    I have one last quote:

    “If you wish to know God, you must know his Word.
    If you wish to perceive His power, you must see how He works by his Word.
    If you wish to know His purpose before it comes to pass, you can only discover it by His Word.”
    …(C.H. Spurgeon)

    I lied:

    Sola Fide – by faith alone
    Sola Gracia – only by God’s grace
    Sola Scriptura – only by God’s word
    Solus Christus – through Christ only
    Soli Deo Gloria – only for the glory of God.

    Bad things WILL happen. That’s NOT the point.  The point IS – how will we respond?  I want to always run to the tower of the Lord, and to dwell under the shadow of His wings – because it’s only through the Lord that I have help to make it through the bad things that happen.

    Prov 18:10 The name of the LORD [is] a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.

    In case you are interested, Mary Jane Holt, of the The Citizen researched the story, and the truth about the Soldier prayer...very nicely done.
    Thanks for joining me in this journey,
    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi
    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

    1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 83 – going to the Y!
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
    3. 25 verses in 52 weeks – Phil 4:8
    4. 90 days Bible Reading – Luke
    5. 50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD

    The First 100 days – day 33 – ADHD prayer part duex

    I have confessed to having difficulty focusing on praying.

    I shared some guest insights in my blog Day 28 – ADHD Prayer.

    This morning, this is how I prayed. Click on the first two for my preparation songs:

    Kirk Franklin – Brighter Day

    Ron Kenoly- Ancient of Days

    Rachel Lampa – Live for You

    That gets me into a great place for prayer….
    Then I focus on dedicating my heart to the Lord:

    And then, to really get me going for the day, I love this song:


    Steven Curtis Chapman – Dive
    Uploaded by EMI_Music. – Watch more music videos, in HD!

    I have included YOUTube links to these songs…please consider going to the musicians and supporting them as ministers of Christ.

    These are some of my songs….and I do have others, but my point is that singing a song, paying attention to the lyrics…PAYING ATTENTION TO THE LYRICS SO YOU ARE PRAYING…can help a person focus their prayers.

    Often times, an ADHD person like me needs multiple senses to be grabbed…which is why I have included two youtube videos.  Watching the lyrics, seeing the photography, listening with your ears, and singing with your mouth all come together for a  more focused prayer time.

    I hope this is a blessing to you…it is to me.  When I start my day with Godly songs that turn my heart towards Jesus, it sets a foundation for the rest of the day.  And that foundation is Jesus!

    Join me – with my life verse:
    Ps 63:7 – Because YOU have been my help, I will sing beneath the shadow of YOUR wings!

    In His hands and under His wings,
    ~Christi

    1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 32 – found a place to walk
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
    3. 25 verses in 52 weeks – Ps 15:1-2
    4. 90 days Bible Reading -2 Chronicles
    5. 50 days T-Tapp – check – T-Tapp Workout with Kirsten
    6. 30 days – T-Tapp January Jumpstart- day 7

    The First 100 days – day 32 – short thoughts

    Zachias was a wee little man, a wee little man was he,
    He climbed up in a sycamore tree, the Lord he wanted to see.
    Jesus said “Zachias, you come down from there,
    for I’m going to your house today, for I’m going to your house today.”

    Zachias was short.

    Zachias was a tax collector.

    Zachias was hated.

    But Jesus saw his heart.

    Rev 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

    John 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

    The shortest verse of the Bible is the most heart wrenching:

    John 11:35 Jesus wept.

    The Shortest chapter is Ps 117

    Ps 117:1 O praise the LORD, all ye nations: praise him, all ye people.

    Ps 117:2 For his merciful kindness is great toward us: and the truth of the LORD [endureth] for ever. Praise ye the LORD.

    The Shortest book(by words) is 3John. Here are two of my favorite verses:

    3John 2 Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.

    3John 11 Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.

    I am short.

    I am hated by some.

    But Jesus sees my heart.

    He knows me from my mother’s womb – Ps 139:13.

    Jer 1:5 Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

    And He has chosen me!

    1 Pet 2:9 But ye [are] a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:

    And what’s really cool is that this applies to tall people, too!  So, today, I may not have to climb any trees (Thank you Jesus), but I am going to watch for Jesus’ hand in my day, and I pray that He and the Father with the Holy Ghost will come and abide with me all the days of my life! How about you?

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,

    In His hands and under His wings,

    ~Christi

    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    author note: the comment button is after sharing buttons, I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

    1. 100 days of moving challenge – day 32 – find a place to walk
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
    3. 90 days Bible Reading – 2 Kings headed to 1 Chronicles
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – check – MORE, OIP/HF, AL
    5. 30 days – T-Tapp January Jumpstart- day 6

    The First 100 days – day 25 – depression

    Job 3:1-4 After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day.  And Job spake, and said, Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night [in which] it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it.

    In my life, I am responsible for my choices.

    In my life, my choices affect others.

    When my choices affect others in a negative way, I get sad.

    When my choices affect others in a negative way, and I cannot fix it…I get depressed.

    Depression is a disease.  I have what is called Major Depressive Disorder, or Unipolar Depression.  In me, it’s mostly under control now, but sometimes, it sneaks up on  me like a snake in tall grass..

    The problem with an issue that causes depression flare ups, is that sometimes, the issue doesn’t make any sense to anyone other than me(the depressive person).  It’s like a washing machine going around and around in my head…getting faster and faster…and everyone else is on the outside saying “just turn it off”.  Hello – there’s no off switch on the inside of the washer!!!!

    Job 3:20-24 “Oh, why should light be given to the weary, and life to those in misery? They long for death, and it won’t come. They search for death more eagerly than for hidden treasure.  It is a blessed relief when they finally die, when they find the grave. Why is life given to those with no future, those destined by God to live in distress? I cannot eat for sighing; my groans pour out like water.

    I’m not suicidal  – this time.  Though as I wrote in my prior essay on Job, I have been there…countless times.

    So – cutting doesn’t work.

    drugs doesn’t work.

    alcohol doesn’t work

    Suicide won’t work.

    Binge eating won’t work.

    Movie marathons don’t work.

    Crying just comes…tears just roll down my cheeks….

    I can’t concentrate on my blog in progress.

    I don’t want to eat(not a really bad thing for me).

    I am overwhelmed with “I HAVE FAILED, AGAIN” feelings.

    The ‘silly’ issues are so huge.

    Giving up my books – they have been a grounding point for me all through my struggles since the memories triggered the depression.

    Not being able to provide Jim with a lovely home in the RV…

    Not being able to be focused in one mindset….being double minded(in more ways than one).

    I have no faith in me.

    Which means, I have no faith in God’s ability to work in me.

    Well – there’s another Christi failure.

    Sarah.

    Rachel.

    Rahab.

    Three female failures that God used.

    Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

    Depression is a valley in the shadow of death.  That’s the truth.

    Jesus walks with me in the valley.  That’s truth.

    I have spent money on things that stare me in the face…money that could have been spent on something better…money that could have done more good.  But I chose to spend that money, because I thought it was the right thing to do in the circumstance. I made the choice I thought was right, given the information I had at the time.  So, now, looking back, I regret that I didn’t have prophetic wisdom?

    So, now my cry is…am I hearing God’s voice?

    John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

    The Israelite’s knew when God wasn’t with them…they went out and fought, and if they lost even 1 man…they came back and fell on their knees to the Lord. But even after repenting.. that one man, 10 men, 30 men, were still dead.

    That’s the thing about messing up…circumstances remain.

    Sarah had Hagar and Ishmael to deal with – and look at what that has done to our world.

    Rebekah deceived her husband, and didn’t live to see Jacob and his children, and the deception send Esau towards the Ishmaelites…more enemies for the Jews.

    Rachel brought the idols away from her father’s house…interestingly, she died in childbirth.

    Peter denied Christ…and almost gave up.

    Stephen was still dead when Saul turned to Paul.

    Our circumstances always follow us…as signs saying

    DON’T DO THAT AGAIN!!!

    Prov 26:2 As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.

    I’ll straighten out that KJV –

    • a curse doesn’t come without a cause.
    • A curse that comes is not without cause.
    • If a curse comes, there is a cause.

    I’m not saying that I am cursed….I’m saying that circumstances come for a reason. Deut 28 is a great chapter to see cause and effect.  Proverbs is good, too!

    Prov 26:6 He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, [and] drinketh damage.

    Prov 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, [so] a fool returneth to his folly.

    BUT GOD!

    As I was looking at the cause and effect of my choices, an angel called.  Yes, an angel named Faith called me on the phone.  Since she is my daughter, with a newborn baby, married to a soldier that is away for the week, I had promised her that I would answer the phone when she called.  I try to always keep my promises, no matter how sad I feel.

    Faith was my Elihu.  And because of her ability to speak the truth, in love, I was able to hear the Lord’s voice and walk out of this valley of the shadow of death.

    I have had to endure the Lord speaking to me out of a whirlwind before…of course, I think I was the one that created the whirlwind of chaos!

    Today, through prayer, and crying out as I searched through the scriptures, God answered me through the sweet sounds of our daughter.  She was even used as a rod in God’s hands to point out a blind spot – that I was able to repent over, and be freed from that bondage. I was also able to hear the real size of the issues, and rest in the Lord, to be content in peace.

    3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

    I have a thorn in my flesh – like Paul – though not for the same reason: 2 Cor 12:7 – And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

    But more so that in my weakness, I can turn to HIM. 2 Cor 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

    This ‘infirmity’ may never leave me.  But neither will the Lord Jesus Christ.

    Is 41:10 NLT Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

    Is 41:13 NLT I am holding you by your right hand–I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, `Do not be afraid. I am here to help you.

    Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, To the only wise God our Savior be honor and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. Jude 24-25

    With this kind of God – and the enormous love He sheds upon me – how can I give up?  How can I quit?  I can…but I am compelled by His great love – to love.  I love, because He first loved me(1 John 4:19).

    I do have past mistakes, and I’m pretty sure I will make future mistakes, and I have even made mistakes today.  But God knew all about them, and MY God is BIG enough to handle MY mistakes, an make sure that all things work together for my good and His glory!  Anything less is a lack of faith…as in, my God is too small.  I got to let Him out of the box I keep putting Him in!  It’s when I let HIM be God that I truly enjoy the joy of the Lord.

    I praise God that He had Faith call.  I praise God that I had a human voice that was Jesus to me.  I praise God for His great love, compassion, and patience with me.

    A year ago, this may have turned out differently, but by God’s grace, I am here, and I shall live to declare the glory of God!(Ps 118:17)

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,

    In His hands and under His wings,

    ~Christi

    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    1. 100 days challenge – moving, a dog walk
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – check
    3. 90 days Bible Reading – catching up
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – check – HD & AL



    The Story of Daniel(day 22)

    This is the photo journal of a child from Compassion.

    Just $38 a month changes their lives, but it also changes their family’s life.  Add a little bit extra for a birthday or Christmas, and it changes everything!

    I have completed the Fasting For Food event.  Please consider sponsoring me, at $1 a day – to help children like Daniel.

    Daniel lives in Uganda. He lives with his mother and siblings.  Life is not easy in Uganda.  But when I saw this boy, born on the same date as our son Stephen, I lost my heart.

    Meet Daniel

    Our first photo of Daniel - at just 5 years old

    He just had this cute little face, and I just wanted to pick him up and read to him.

    The next best thing was to sponsor him.

    Our first letter says:

    “Engaro and his family send you warm and lovely greetings in Jesus’ name. They also thank God the caring heart he has given you which enables you to share the Joy of the Lord with them.”

    Daniel's Family-1

    Our first look at Daniel's family

    In this photo, we got to ‘meet’ Daniel’s family.  The one in the middle is his mom, Hilda.  As far as I can figure, the baby is Robinna, his little sister.

    As I look back on this photo, Hilda looks so worn…so tired, so harsh.

    If my heart was taken by Daniel, now I added Robinna to my prayers.

    Daniel 3

    Christmas, 2008 - I think it's marked wrong

    Here we learned that Daniel has three sisters.  The tallest is Agnes.

    I marked the photo wrong, as I later learned…and the little one is Robinna, and the one Daniel’s height is Luuky.

    It is difficult to gather detailed information, as I have to trust the translator to write on the back of the photos in a manner that I will understand!  Like, no one puts dates on the photos!  It just adds to the treasure and adventure of sponsoring a child through Compassion.

    Daniel 4

    Daniel and his mother - Spring of 2009.

    This photo was to show us the clothing that they were able to purchase with a small gift.

    It is amazing how quickly Daniel grew…just a pennies over a dollar a day and, he is sprouting up like a weed! Before sponsorship, he had not attended school.  Now he is in Kindergarten.

    One of the great things about Compassion is that they do not limit your contact with the child.  So, we went on a trip, and I sent postcards.

    Daniel 5

    Our first family gift - they were able to aquire a goat!

    When we were able to send extra, we did.

    This time, when we sent a little extra, they were able to aquire a goat.

    In Uganda, a goat changes the standing of the family, as well as gives them an opportunity to create a business.

    This is the first time we saw a photo of Daniel’s father.

    We had sent photos of us in the large snow in Ohio.  Daniel’s response was “How can a man live in snow(ice)?”  Of course, they never have snow or rarely ice.  He writes ” I thank God for keeping me alive.”  Wow.  That’s basic faith.

    Daniel 6

    Our next photo

    Look at how much Daniel grew….

    This is somewhere between October 2008 and 2009.

    Not all centers are able to produce the photos that we’ve gotten from Daniel – but Compassion does provide photos on a regular basis, such as this.  It even came with wallets, and book markers to share with others.

    Daniel 7

    Daniel's 6th Birthday

    Daniel was not able to purchase a cake, but this is some sort of sandwiches, which they ceremonially ‘sliced’ for his birthday photo.

    Daniel 8

    Daniel's 6th Birthday Party, October 2009

    For his birthday, he was able to have neighbors and cousins come and celebrate.

    The woman in white is Hilda, Daniel’s mom. The woman in blue, is Daniel’s sister – Jessica.

    There are six children in Daniel’s family.

    Daniel 9

    Daniel's Christmas 2009

    With the Christmas gift we sent…and it’s not a lot….Daniel’s family was able to acquire a SECOND GOAT!

    Now they can really make a difference!

    In Uganda, as in America, clothing denotes social status.  Of course, the need for clothing is universal.

    This photo was taken on a rainy day, and the center apologized for the photo, but I think they all look beautiful!

    Daniel 10

    New clothing from fabric purchased

    This next photo just broke our hearts with joy…amazement about how little can change a family’s lives.

    Daniel 11

    A Cow....and the goats have a kid!

    If seeing the cow, and the kid, and the prospering goats isn’t enough to make you smile…look at Hilda’s face!  All three of the children, Luuky(Lucy), Robinna, and Daniel, have all grown so much in 2 years!  Sponsoring Daniel has helped all his sisters, his mom, cousins, and the community! AND he gets to hear the Word of the Lord!  They all participate in the church at the center!

    Daniel Birthday 2010

    Daniel's 7th Birthday Party

    In the letter that came with this photo, it says:

    “From the gift you last sent, Daniel bought a new pair of shoes, food and drinks for the family to celebrate his birthday.  He also bought a birthday cake and attached to this letter is a photo of the family as they joined Daniel in cutting the cake.”

    Daniel has struggled a bit with school…but has consistently been passed to the next level. As of November, 2010, Daniel is in P1, or first grade.

    Here is a video, not of Daniel, but of an hispanic family that shares how being sponsored…and only ONE child from a family is sponsored, can change a WHOLE family…and maybe, even the world.

    In Uganda, as in America, clothing denotes social status.  Of course, the need for clothing is universal.

    Please, consider sponsoring me, through the Fasting for Food project.

    Or better yet – consider sponsoring a child, and their family, through Compassion.

    Mark 9:41For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward.

    James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.

    Please, if not one of these two ways, find a way to give.

    Acts 20:35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

    And if you are one that is enjoying the blessings of giving to a child…please share your story here!

    Thanks for joining me in this journey,

    In His hands and under His wings,

    ~Christi

    Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

    1. 100 days challenge – moving – check my goal, walk 30 minutes.
    2. 100 days challenge- blog – check(day late)
    3. 90 days Bible Reading – I’m on 1 Samuel
    4. 50 days T-Tapp – check
    5. 21 days Fasting for Food – completed!