Tag Archives: Jesus

there are giants my land – part two

~editor’s note: while recovering from arm surgery, I am using voice to text software to write my blog.  There may be some strange words or phrases that I missed.  Please be patient me.  ~Christi

I touched on one of the giants in my opening post.
my life has been greatly overshadowed by the giant of fear.

  • fear of monsters in the dark
  • fear of rejection
  • fear of abandonment
  • fear of anger
  • fear of failure
  • fear of success
  • fear of large groups of people
  • fear of dying in fire
  • fear of men
  • fear of man
  • fear of competition
  • fear of leaving my home
  • fear of getting lost

I’m sure I am missing some. Many of these fears go back to fear that came from the “monster in the dark”. I could list these almost, in a tree of fear that grew out of trust being betrayed.  But the point is, once this giant fear entered my life, it had permission to reproduce many variables.

The Bible doesn’t really talk about many variations of fear.

  • fear of God
  • fear of man

The ratio, is quite interesting.

Prov 9.10 The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy [is] understanding.

Job 28. 28 And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that [is] wisdom; and to depart from evil [is] understanding.

Psalm 111.10 The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do [his commandments]: his praise endureth for ever.

Proverb 1.7 The fear of the LORD [is] the beginning of knowledge: [but] fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 15.33The fear of the LORD [is] the instruction of wisdom; and before honour [is] humility.

Prov 29:25The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.

In just this selection, it is 5 to 1 for the fear of the Lord.  I’m not going into what the fear of the Lord is, just the fact that if were going to fear anyone we should fear the Lord.

Psalm 91 lists many things that dwelling with God will protect you from.

  • snare of the Fowler
  • noisome pestilence
  • terror by night
  • arrow by day
  • pestilence in darkness
  • destruction at noon day
  • evil
  • plagues

Psalm 91.11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

The rest of Psalm 91 tells why God would do this, and if Psalm 91 isn’t enough to fight off your giant of fear, God gave us Psalm 27:

Psalm 27.1[[[A Psalm] of David.]] The LORD [is] my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD [is] the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

In fact, the whole Bible is full of words of truth that tear down strongholds.

2Cor 10.4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

Another of my favorite verses about fear is this:

2 Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

When someone is standing up to the giant of fear, 2Tim 1.7 is the perfect stone to throw.  What fears are not covered by power, love, and a sound mind?

God in his great mercy and wisdom, knows that in this world there will be fear.  Adam and Eve, with the first sin, were afraid to see God. Sin separates us from God, which separates us from his love, and replaces it with fear.  Separation was never God’s plan.

God intended for us to dwell in the secret place of the most high, and to live under the shadow of the Almighty.

God intended for us to say “[He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

God never intended for us to dwell in fear.  Therefore, he has already taken down this giant, and all we have to do is speak the truth, embrace the truth, walking the truth, and rejoice in the victory that is ours through Christ.

When the giant of fear comes around, we can put the stone of Psalm 91 or 2Tim 1.7 into our Gospel sling and speak the truth in Jesus name, just as David did with Goliath:

David replied to the Philistine, “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of Heaven’s Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the LORD will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel! 1 Sam 17: 45-46

As we shout the truth to the giant, God will guide the stone to slay the the giant.

Reaching into his shepherd’s bag and taking out a stone, he hurled it with his sling and hit the Philistine in the forehead. The stone sank in, and Goliath stumbled and fell face down on the ground.

I thank you Lord, that you have given us the tools we need to take down the giants that attack us.  It isn’t armor that doesn’t fit, it isn’t swords that are too heavy, but they are weapons that You created specifically for us. As I said in my previous post, The weapons of our warfare are not carnal… And we do not war against flesh and blood.(2 Cor 10:4,Eph 6:12)

1 John 4:4 Greater is he that is in me then he that is in the world.(paraphrased)

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment!
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Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

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Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

There are Giants in My Land

In 2006, the Kendrick brothers brought us the movie “Facing the Giants”
In that same year, Max Lucado wrote Facing Your Giants.
Years ago, Jim and I heard a talk about Goliath and his four brothers.
We also learned about how to conquer 5 giants in the Advanced Seminar through IBLP.

In 1 Samuel 17, a shepherd boy named David, came to the army of Israel to see how things were going. His brothers were in the Army. Saul was the king and the Philistines were taunting and ridiculing Israel.
David, a boy of simple faith, asked why no one was taking charge over this giant. He was ridiculed. He was taunted. His brothers accused him of being a busybody. When King Saul heard the words of this shepherd boy, he called him to his side. David, full of faith, said “let no man fear this giant, for I will go out and meet with him.”

Of course, all of these hardened soldiers including Saul, looked at the shepherd boy and said “you can’t do this”. David, having trusted the Lord to slay the lion and the bear as he protected his flock, knew the same God would deliver this giant into his hands.

The king tried to dress him just like everybody else in the Army. The armor was too big, the sword to heavy, and David had no experience with them. David said “let me use the tools that God has trained me with”. Saul was at his wits and. This Philistine was terrorizing the whole nation of Israel. If this little guy had an idea, let’s try it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?

So, David went out, as he had done so many days before in the keeping of his father’s sheep. As he crossed the brook he knelt down, and picked up five smooth stones. He put them in his shepherd’s bag and made sure his sling was ready to use.

Five stones.
Why five stones? David knew Goliath had four brothers, or sons. Five giants total. David was prepared to fight all the giants.

As the story goes, David took one stone and put it in his sling, and God directed that stone straight to the most vulnerable part of the giant’s head. And the giant Goliath fell! Little David was a hero! The whole army was energized, morale was restored, and the pride of Israel had been defended. Hooray!

But what about David? He didn’t become King anytime soon. What was this giant that David slew?

In the teachings that Jim and I heard many years ago, we were told the meaning of the names of Goliath and 4 other giants that followed David throughout his life. At this moment I can’t find any meaning of the names of the giants in the Bible. When I heard the teaching, each giants’ name represented some spiritual challenge in the life of David. When he was young, and full of faith, he picked up five stones, five stones, that could have taken out all five giants while he was young. For whatever reason, David only slew Goliath that day. Later in his life, one of the last giants almost slew him. It would be good to slay the giants in our youth. If we don’t, they will keep coming back.

The point of these teachings, the point of the movie, the point of the book, is, what giants am I facing? What giants are in my land?

FEAR
My whole life has been overshadowed with fear. My childhood had hidden, scary, nightmares going on. because of real monsters, I was terrified of the dark. In my adulthood, I have had to face those fears. It would have been nice if it was only one giant of fear. It seems, that if it’s one giant, he has many, many tentacles.

2 Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

If God didn’t give me a spirit of fear, who did? Was it my abuser? Could my abuser “give me a spirit of fear”? Many who suffer abuse blame the abuser for is their spiritual makeup. That spiritual position keeps them under the thumb of the abuser, and they cannot embrace the freedom of forgiveness. What the abuser did was wrong, illegal, ungodly, horrific, traumatic, but not able to permanently affect, and especially not destroy our spirits.
The opposite of God is not an abuser.
In fact the opposite of God is not Satan.
Satan is our enemy, and he often seems to have more power over us than God does.
That’s because Satan pushes while God invites.
The weapons of our warfare are not carnal… And we do not war against flesh and blood.(2 Cor 10:4,Eph 6:12)

1 John 4:4 Greater is he that is in me then he that is in the world.(paraphrased)

Back to my point, as a child, my spirit was molded by the horrors to which it was exposed. But when I came of age, and when I became aware, I was free to choose God’s gift of love, power and a sound mind rather than the life draining dungeon of fear. Jesus Christ gave me the keys the dungeon.

If you have not watched the movie “Facing the Giants“, I greatly suggest that you do.
At the inspiration of my Savior Jesus Christ, and with the encouragement of my dear husband, Jim, I am going to be reading the book “Facing your Giants” by Max Lucado.

And I will listen and listen and listen to this glorious song:

Here is an option WITH the lyrics – Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns.
Let’s listen to the voice of TRUTH!

 

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

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100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #22 – Sleep Tight

Genesis 2:2-3 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made. And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made.

Rest is ordained by God.

Ps 4: 8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
Ps 127:2 [It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.

When God created the world/universe, He created time.
He also created rest.
We are to give ONE day a week to resting in His presence.
I’m not talking about that kind of rest.

God created our bodies with this circadian rhythm that keeps us in balance. This is the rest I am talking about. Sleep is a blessing from God.

Harvard Women’s Health Watch agrees:

Importance of Sleep : Six reasons not to scrimp on sleep
January 2006

A recent survey found that more people are sleeping less than six hours a night, and sleep difficulties visit 75% of us at least a few nights per week. A short-lived bout of insomnia is generally nothing to worry about. The bigger concern is chronic sleep loss, which can contribute to health problems such as weight gain, high blood pressure, and a decrease in the immune system’s power, reports the Harvard Women’s Health Watch.

While more research is needed to explore the links between chronic sleep loss and health, it’s safe to say that sleep is too important to shortchange.

The Harvard Women’s Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:

  • Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who’d slept after learning a task did better on tests later.
  • Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.
  • Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.
  • Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.
  • Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels, and irregular heartbeat.
  • Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body’s killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

There is a reason that sleep deprivation is a huge part of brain washing and torture! Wikipedia has an article on Sleep Deprivation with more than you’ll ever want to know. My point for including it here is that there is a section that discusses sleep deprivation as a from of Interrogation.

In my personal life, with a depressive disorder, if I do not sleep well for a period of time, I have had psychotic events that have caused various difficulties.
I have also had times, because of dreams or night terrors that I have been afraid to go to sleep. I have cried out for those promises.

In order to be able to walk, one must have the strength to walk, whether mind or body. Sleep is God’s way of restoring our bodies. How can we restore what we may have lost?
In this Helpguide about Sleeping, it talks about paying off the sleep debt:

Sleep debt is the difference between the amount of sleep you need and the hours you actually get. Every time you sacrifice on sleep, you add to the debt. Eventually, the debt will have to be repaid. It won’t go away on its own. If you lose an hour of sleep, you must make up that extra hour somewhere down the line in order to bring your “account” back into balance.

I have never seen a plan for paying off the sleep debt, but this makes sense to me. Find time that you can go to bed at the normal time, and then, wake up with no alarm clock. They recommend a two week period, but not everyone has that flexibility. So do it on the weekends.

In the end – a good night’s sleep makes the next day much better.
And in the consideration of walking, every thing is much steadier.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures, and leadeth me beside still waters.

My Shepherd leads me to rest BEFORE I walk into the valley of the shadow of death! Not after.

In the creation story, a day is described Evening and morning were the first….day.
Rest comes first – then the strength to walk through the day.
Rest is ordained by God.

Ps 4: 8 I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.
Ps 127:2 [It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.

Sleep is a blessing from God.

I am walking a race – and I do not want to become weary in well doing, and faint…therefore, I need to take care of this body, and rest as God has instituted.
Good sleep every night, and resting in His presence every week(another post later).

So – good night! Sleep tight! and love the Lord with all your might!
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Battle Plan for Comparison Blues – part 2

Battle Plan
An Antidote for Post Conference Blues or any Comparison Blues!

Every time I go to a conference, I come back with Post conference blues. I am so quick to compare myself and my children and my efforts with everyone else, and to take the talks terribly personally, that I am overwhelmed with my conviction, and am tempted to give up.

This year I recognized it a bit before going…with the issue of dress, and looks, and expected appearance. After we arrived at home, the blues hit again, and this time, I cried out.

Here is the antidote that God gave me: Part 2

I needed a battle plan….I was definitely in warfare!
I went to the obvious warfare passage:

Eph 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].

I was fighting with my husband’s flesh, my children’s flesh, and my own flesh (the latter being the most difficult!). I was falling prey to those fiery darts big time…and they were coming so fast and so furious, and I was so beaten down, my shield was almost too heavy to lift up.

Psal 3:2 (KJS) Many [there be] which say of my soul, [There is] no help for him in God. Selah.
3 But thou, O LORD, [art] a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
4 I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.

Somewhere I was missing something…but that goes back to part one…I was missing my promises! As my dear husband meditated on 2 Pet 1, he taught us on these verses – more promises to add to those God gave me (mentioned in part one)!

2Pet 1:2 (KJS) Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, 3 According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that [pertain] unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

Promises:

11) Grace
12) Peace
13) both of those Multiplied through the Knowledge of God and Jesus!
14) I’ve been given All things that pertain unto life and godliness (I can do it through Him!)
15) other exceeding great and precious promises that will make me to be a partaker of the divine nature
15 b) and to escape the corruption of the world through the lust thereof

So, God has provided a way, and I just have to wait, and rejoice. I was already crying!

Phil 4:4 (KJS) Rejoice in the Lord alway: [and] again I say, Rejoice.
(James 1:2 always comes to mind when choosing to rejoice!)
Phil 4:6 (KJS) Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Ok, so I am taking thought, caring for my children’s futures, how to schedule our days, our seemingly endless failure to complete wisdom books(homeschooling) on time, and the fact that our marriage is not the ideal marriage, our life is not always lining up with what we say we believe…all this added to the health issues….whew. I needed to just get quiet! Rejoice?!? Count it all joy?!? I was trying hard not to grumble and complain!

So, how do I take on the enemy? Well, I’ll have to tell you that in Part three!

PART THREE

PART FOUR
BACK TO PART ONE

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Comfort From the Comforter –

Let me share something what the Lord led me to do, as I was in an MRI machine. I had meant to choose a verse to meditate on….but was met there by friends to stay with my son…and had not chosen one yet.

As I lay in the machine, with many strange noises, The Lord brought Ps 23 to mind.
Here’s how He did it:
The Lord (this is one of the acrostics He gave me)
L – oving
O– mnipotant
R – uling
D – ivine

IS
I AM that I AM, eternal, without beginning or end

MY
I was predestined and ordained to be elect,
He knows the plans He has for me!
He knew me before the foundation of the earth,
before I was formed in my mother’s womb

SHEPHERD
My sheep hear my voice and follow me (yes Lord, I will follow)
~ Saviour, Like a shepherd lead me…..

I SHALL NOT WANT
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
My God shall provide all my needs according to His riches in Glory
If I delight myself in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart (even more of Him!)

Do you get the idea? He gave me a few more hymns and spiritual songs to sing, along with other verses. We got through to the still waters (Be still and know that I am God, <well, I didn’t have much choice…I had to lie still!>). He ministered to me for the whole 1/2 hour …..all to comfort me, and to keep my mind on Him while they did the MRI.

Where ever, or when ever we find ourselves in need of comfort, He will meet us, and bring the word that we have hidden in our heart to comfort us. And, He even works in us to glorify His name! He is so Awesome!

May you dwell in the secret place of the Most High, and hide under the shadow of the Almighty……(Ps 91)

(written 2000 or before)

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #20 – watch for signs of dehydration

WE NEED WATER!!!
I laid out the seriousness of the need for water in my post “Water, Water, Water!”

I have trouble recognizing that I am losing water.
Oh, the sweat the pours off my body is an irritation, so I just wear a bandana to keep it out of my eyes!

Sweating is a good thing…it cleanses the body…but it also takes the water, AND electrolytes OUT of the body. And the body needs electrolytes and water to keep things in balance!
What are the signs? The University of Arkansas lists these signs:

MILD:

  • flushed face
  • very thirsty
  • weakness
  • headache
  • cramping in arms and legs
  • dry, warm skin(no sweating)
  • crying with few or no tears
  • dizziness
  • small amounts of dark yellow urine

We have been given the water of the Word to keep us hydrated….but here are symptoms of being dehydrated from the water of the word:

  • flushed face – easily embarrassed by your recent behavior. Ezra 9:6
  • very thirsty – seeking something – Isaiah 55:1
  • weakness – from no time in God’s presence – Psalm 6:2
  • headache – no peace from activities – Psalm 7:16
  • cramping in arms and legs – No strength to DO for God Eze 7:17
  • dry, warm skin(no sweating) – life has ebbed away  Ez 37:2
  • crying with few or no tears – no remorse for sins – Eph 4:19
  • dizziness – playing in multiple playgrounds – James 1:8
  • small amounts of dark yellow urine – intensify sinful acts – Eph 5:3-5

If not taken care of…dehydration leads to death.

MODERATE TO SEVERE:

  • FAINTING
  • SEVERE MUSCLE CRAMPS
  • BLOATED STOMACH
  • DEEP AND RAPID BREATHING
  • POOR SKIN ELASTICITY
  • SUNKEN EYES
  • CONVULSIONS

Moderate to severe dehydration includes death.  It is best to deal with dehydration when you see the early signs.

If Spiritual Dehydration is not taken care of…it can lead to spiritual death.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

Guest Blogger – Trisch – What about Job?

My friend Trisch shared this today, in light of several of us having multiple crises in our lives.  I asked if I could put it here…I want to keep this thought around forever! At least, while the internet exists! ~C

I used to wonder how Job did so well then spent 30+ chapters whining!

Almost 7 years ago, when Dallas nearly was killed in his bad accident (caused by a driver on cocaine and marijuana), I found out and understood Job better!

Worship is just what you’re saying, C(another person’s comment).  Saying, “I might not understand, I might not like it or feel good, but I believe You are still on the Throne, and although it doesn’t make sense in my world, You have a greater plan and it will be beautiful in Your plan.”

We can’t make sense of things here, because we’re seeing them temporally and through finite eyes.  We need His “eyes” to see the Eternal and the infinite.  By worship we say I trust You in this.

Just Friday the Lord showed me how I had a small piece of my heart still hardened from one of my miscarriages that was almost 22 years ago.  I felt “dead” emotionally.  At the time I just thought it was due to the loss, the hormones, etc.  It was right before Christmas, 1989, and of course, right before Jessica’s birthday (24th).   It seemed that although I got over it and have even asked God’s forgiveness for my bitterness over the years, I reserved a little piece for me–walled it off.  Deep down was the “how could God be good when we’ve given Him total control of our fertility and He keeps taking babies to Heaven?” (I’d lost 4 by that point…..little did I know….)

Friday morning I asked Him to show me, why. Why was there this little “dead spot” within me.  He had already told me a year ago my struggles were with His Sovereignty, especially since the last miscarriage (almost 3 years ago) and the unexpected death of my mom.

Ladies, when I asked Him that question, I had just been worshiping Him.  I have felt Him drawing me more and more into worship.  Worship as the main part of my prayer time.  Worship before petition, intercession, supplication.  Praise and worship.  I’m using Psalms, praying one Psalm a day and sometimes even half a one. Really slowing it down!

I read over the names of God in a little booklet I have–several for each day.  To remind me of Who He *really* is.

I’ve been giving a lot of things up to Him, my mom being one of them, and I thought I had given all our losses of babies to Him, too.  So when I asked Him that question, really wanting to know, really ready to give it all up to Him, that is what He showed me.

“Thou art good, and doest good; teach me Thy statutes.”  Psalm 119:68

The night of Dallas’ accident, when I couldn’t go to sleep in the ICU waiting lounge, I read my Bible and this verse stood out.

That is what I told Him when He showed me my heart Friday morning.  YOU are good.  EVERYTHING You do is GOOD. Whether I understand it, see the reason for it, like it, whatever, I will speak Truth in my heart.

I can’t trust Him if I don’t speak the Truth about Who He is in my heart.  That has really come out a
lot in the past week in my quiet time.

When I make the “faith declaration”, as our pastor calls it, it moves His heart.  David made a lot of faith declarations when things weren’t exactly going great!

The feelings come later.

I’ve  been making these declarations and feeling a bit freer each time, but Friday it was like I realized that *I* was the one holding the chains on!   He had already unlocked them….I needed to speak the Truth to my heart that He is trustworthy, even in tragedy, even in losses upon losses…..then I see that I can walk out of this self-made prison and be FREE and ALIVE!

I can’t begin to explain the LIFE I feel in my heart since Friday!

I am not saying I’m perfected now and will never sin again and not trust Him! 😛  I know it is a constant process. Remember Otto Konig?  How he thought he’d learned the lesson of the “pineapples” and then he realized that was first grade, and now he was in second grade?!   I think that is how it is. We learn it, then another layer is peeled back.  We confess, make a faith declaration of trust and worship, another layer peeled back.

I want to deal with the flesh, because I love Him.   Not to get anything from Him other than the openness of relationship with Him.

I can’t make anyone else change, but I can worship Him and pray Scripture for them (that way I don’t pray my own will!).

I am realizing that I am to be lifting Him up, and HE does the drawing of all men.  So the first place I need to lift Him up is in my own heart–to worship Him.

I am reminded that there is Eternity to live for–there are rewards and glories there that I can’t begin to fathom!  I’ve recently gotten tiny, tiny glimpses of the glory that awaits me there–of course Jesus Himself is enough of a reason!  But 14 children with Him….losing both my parents before I am even 50 years old…..the accidents, auto-immune disorders, Dad’s disease robbing me of his relationship for 4 years before he died….

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”  2 Corinthians 4:17-18

Well, I’m rambling, but I thought it interesting that this came up in light of what He’s been showing
me in my own life lately!

~Trisch
Trisch writes a blog called “Never a Dull Moment”
~ I commented to this thread ~

I have found in my experience that every time I fall down and worship, I have the right response to a situation.  I may be able to fake a right response sometimes.  I have gotten to the point where I am able to say to Jim, when I am ‘out of sorts’ about something, “I need some alone time with Jesus on this one before I say something I might regret.”

“We enter into HIS presence with praise and thanksgiving – and in HIS presence we find the joy and the strength to deal with the world – which definitely IS NOT in His presence!”

Thank you, Trisch!
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #17 What if they TELL you, ‘You Can’t Walk’?

I almost titled this “Step 8 Part 2” because, this sort of comes on the heels of that work in my life.

Step # 8 What if you can’t walk?
At that time(oh so long ago), I was struggling with the what if’s.
Yesterday, I was faced with this conversation with my Dr.
“So, if I have the surgery, what is the downside?”
– if it fails, we will need to fuse your ankle
“So, if this progresses, what will happen?”
-if it collapses, we will need to fuse your ankle
“Fuse my ankle, just what does that mean?”
-you could walk, but you won’t have much mobility

I checked out this stuff online, as every 21st century patient does….and the explanation of Avascular Necrosis on Mercy MD’s site says:
” This is the range of up and down motion (called dorsiflexion and plantarflexion) of the ankle following the total ankle replacement after a fracture of the talus associated with AVN.”

So, I asked “would I ever be able to walk a 5k again?”
Dr. B looked very serious at me, and said, “I’d like to say yes, but the truth is, I just don’t know.”

The “standard of care” is to stay off the ankle/affected area to allow it to heal. In my heart of hearts, I don’t feel that is right for me.
I can use a boot to support my ankle…but the standard of care is non weight bearing – and I just don’t feel right about that for me.
So, I was willing to go through surgery…since the other surgeries on my other foot went so well.
“This is not the same.”

Avascular Necrosis – dead bone from lack of blood.
Osteopenia – not replacing bone
Christi’s prognosis – not a lot of hope to get bone replaced into the dead area, if I’m losing it in the live area! So, why am I so gung ho on traumatizing the good bone to hopefully regenerate the dead bone?

History lesson on MCW –
In 1978, while on convalescent leave from the Navy, a chiropractor measured my legs, and found that one was 21cm longer than the other.
In 1981, Jim, newly Baptised in the Holy Spirit, and wanting to pray for my healing, prayed for my leg to grow. As the leg moved down the towel we placed under it to catch the ‘annointing’ kitchen oil…it was evident that my leg grew. When I stood up, we could see my hips level in the mirror, and he reached down to kiss me, and missed my mouth, as it had moved up…about 21cm.
In 1989, I was seeing a chiropractor for my neck, and he did a full body xray, as chiropractors in that day were prone to do. He mentioned a boney growth on the lower part of my spine. Jim asked him if that was something typical for someone that had one leg longer than the other. “Yes, to brace the spine due to the angle, but Christi doesn’t have one leg shorter than the other.” Jim proceeded to tell him about that night in 1981! That Dr. B said “then you ought to get to praying to get rid of that boney thing…”.
I have had multiple spine xrays and MRI’s and no one has asked about any boney thing on my spine again.

The moral of this story? God can cause 21 cm of bone, tissue and all to grow on His command, and when the leftovers aren’t needed, He can cause them to dissolve as well.

So, you may ask, what’s the problem? It’s DEAD bone, not missing leg! Just believe!!!

Ok, so read Step #8 again…I’ve been struggling with allowing myself to accept that God may not want me to walk again.
IF GOD DOES NOT WANT ME TO WALK AGAIN – I NEED TO BE FINE WITH IT!

Job 13:15 Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him:

Sounds spiritual, huh? I just got smacked in the face with the second half of this verse:

Job 13:15b but I will maintain mine own ways before him. (KJV)
NIV I will surely defend my ways to his face.
NLT I am going to argue my case with him.
NAS Nevertheless I will argue my ways before Him.

Youngs Literal Translation for Job 13:15
Lo, He doth slay me — I wait not! Only, my ways unto His face I argue.

Wow….where does that leave me? This is one of the discourses that leads to Job being reprimanded for thinking he can speak against the whirlwind of God’s Omniscience!!! As a side note…God seems to have been big enough to handle Job’s questions…and I know HE’S still big enough for my questions.

So – is there anywhere for this fatalistic mentality?
The three boys…thrown into the fiery furnace!

Dan 3:18 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we [are] not careful to answer thee in this matter.
Dan 3:17 If it be [so], our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver [us] out of thine hand, O king.
Dan 3:18 But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.

Ok, wait a minute. No one is asking me to bow down to or serve their gods. This is not a situation with persecution written on it!

What is it?
When I could not walk in the Navy – God gave me Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint

It was a song from a Christian youth group that held my heart through bootcamp.
It has been a large part of much of my testimony.
And it is my life verse.

It is the basis for this series – 100 Spiritual Walking Steps.
So what am I going to do?
I can’t argue with my own post…I need to find the basis for a solid foundation(other foundation can no man lay than that is laid which is Jesus Christ) – and WALK IT OUT.

Bill Gotherd once said, in a seminar, If God can use you more out of a wheelchair, then nothing can keep you in that wheelchair. If God can use your more IN that wheelchair, then nothing anyone can do can get you out, nor would you want to.

I think God wants me to walk.
I am sure that this promise (Is 40:31) has been a guiding force (solid rock) through out my life.
I don’t expect to be mounting up with wings as eagles…but..
renew my strength? Yes
walk and not be weary? I hope so
run and not faint? He did that for me in the Navy to pass the PT test.

So, what’s my problem?

Heb 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

I HOPE that He wants to make me walk.
I KNOW that HE can make me walk.
FAITH is what bridges those two together.
and right now, my faith is a little weak….

Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things [are] possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

I do HAVE faith – Jesus says so!Well, actually, he says that IF we had faith the grain of a mustard seed…..and in Romans it talks about the measure of faith given to every man….the point is….I have been given faith….Eph 2:8 – faith is a gift!

It needs to grow – like the mustard seed….
and when it is weak, well…
They that WAIT UPON THE LORD SHALL RENEW THEIR STRENGTH – OF FAITH????

If God healed my leg once, or however many times…has HE changed or have I?

There is NO benefit in surgery…or non weight bearing exercise according to the included article…they both end in the same unacceptable thing – fused ankle.
I am confessing at this point that it is easier for me to believe that God will heal the dead bone than to reconstruct an ankle with steel nails and screws in it.

that said – I am confessing here…on August 5, 2011…that I believe that God will restore the dead bone, and not permit my ankle to collapse.
I want to believe that I will be walking 5ks again.
I want to believe that I will be able to do a sprint triathlon – this time with a crowd – again.
I want to believe that I can walk into and out of the Grand Canyon.
I want to believe that I can walk a marathon…well, that I could….not that I would at 4 mph of walking….

To that end, I will take off my boot, and go walking up to the pool today…and have fun.

So – what if they tell you, ‘you can’t walk’? check it out with the Creator first…HE may have other things to say.
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #16 Can you lose your map?

It’s been a rough couple of weeks, with some serious soul searching about several situations.
In the midst of the soul searching, my notes for my path got lost.  In them was the main verse for several steps, and the corresponding verses.  With multiple hands and multitasking events, the notes disappeared in the midevent cleanup.  NOTE to self – write notes down in a notebook, not on a piece of recycled printer paper that looks like trash.  Also avoid writing notes on napkins.

So – I lost my map.
Without a map, how does one find their way?
In my experience, I can’t.  I have to go back, to back track, until I get to someplace I know…and hopefully it’s a gas station that can sell me a new map! In English!

We don’t have to go all the way back to Darkness – of course, that is where we all began.  But we can go back to a common place – the cross.

From Step 12 –

“If you are in agreement as to where we all started, and that we needed to face the cross…then we can go on from there, to determine where are WE starting. At the cross.”

At least, that’s the common ground for every Christian.

Then, I took the step to get rid of baggage that held me back in Step 13.

I can remember that anything that brings condemnation is NOT of God….WAIT…that’s a next step!  It wasn’t the next step on that lost set of notes…but, it is the next step for me today.

Rom 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

NO CONDEMNATION!

Imagine, living a life free of condemnation.
To Condemn:

1. to express strong disapproval of; censure
2. to pronounce judicial sentence on
3. to demonstrate the guilt of: his secretive behaviour condemned him
4. to judge or pronounce unfit for use: that food has been condemned
5. to compel or force into a particular state or activity: his disposition condemned him to boredom

Sadly, this is a description of many of my Christian experiences. I have lived with expectations from others about how I should act, dress, eat, look, worship, study, pray, mother, wife, mission, etc. All of these expectations have brought death to my heart.

I don’t want to write an expose’ on the law being death, and Christ being life…because I’m not talking about the laws of the Bible here. I’m talking about the laws placed upon me by other people’s expectations.

John 8:32 – you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

Know the Truth…My whole walk with Jesus has been about KNOWING JESUS.

John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I come to the Father….through Jesus Christ.

    Not through wearing a denim jumper (though I miss my denim jumpers!)
    Not through listening only to old, stodgy, hymns
    Not through having long stringy hair
    Not through only eating ‘clean’ foods
    Not through celebrating the Lord’s Day on Saturday or Sunday

I come to the Father through Jesus Christ.

The relationship with the Father in the OT was through the law – so that His people knew there was a standard of morality. Before you can hold someone to a standard, the only just way is that you let them know the standard. And – as Paul and all the others shared, it was impossible. But Noah, and David and Moses and Elijah and Isaiah KNEW that God had a greater plan than just the law. In Hebrews 11, they died knowing that a great hope was coming.
JESUS!

There is now no condemnation … for whom?

to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

IN CHRIST JESUS – know Jesus -> know truth = truth sets you free.

And yes, there is a stipulation…a condition…or, a proof that one IS in Christ Jesus:

who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

When I was full of trying to please man’s teachings…women’s critical eyes and words…I was, in a way, walking after the flesh. As Paul said:

Gal 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

While I was trying to please man…even under the guise of Christian teachings…I was not pleasing Christ…I was not serving Christ…I was trying to win the approval of men. And when I didn’t get it, CONDEMNATION!

Rom 8:8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

One of the beauteous things of walking with Jesus is that when you get off the path, you can always call out, and find your way back.
In fact, even while a person is in sin, or confusion, or misguided, I believe they can still be walking in the Spirit…if they are desiring to walk with Jesus.

Prov 11:23 The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath.

My concept of righteous is desiring a right relationship with Jesus.
David was righteous…but he messed up.
Moses was righteous…but he messed up.
Paul was probably righteously killing Christians when he was Saul…out of his intense desire to serve the Lord…and because of his desire to have a right relationship with God, he had a blinding enlightening moment.

IF…IF is a big word.

John 2:1 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.

IF we sin…he knew we would…then WE HAVE AN ADVOCATE…that is what Jesus does for us daily! Not condemn…but advocate on our behalf!

2 Chron 7:14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

MY PEOPLE
CALLED BY MY NAME
This is written to believers....both before Jesus, and through Jesus it applies to those of us who are called Christian.
This is a call to repent…and be forgiven…and be brought back into the fold.

CONDEMNATION – that’s final. It’s DEAD.
But desiring a right relationship…I’m not good at the proper grammar words…but that is an ongoing action…it’s ALIVE!!!
It leaves room for grace, forgiveness, mercy and love.
It leaves room for growing, by pruning off the old stuff, and putting on the new stuff…and moving…walking…taking steps towards ‘perfection’.

Rom 8:2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

Rom 8:11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

While my walk with Jesus may not look like YOUR walk…the point is, that OUR CHRISTIAN walk SHOULD keep taking us closer and closer to Jesus. It is my desire is to be right with Jesus – and my heart is desiring to seek HIM for my path….and these are my prayers:

Ps 73:25 Whom have I in heaven [but thee]? and [there is] none upon earth [that] I desire beside thee.
Ps 119:105 NUN. Thy word [is] a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Ps 37:23-24 The steps of a [good] man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth [him with] his hand.
Ps 16:11 Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence [is] fulness of joy; at thy right hand [there are] pleasures for evermore.
Ps 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Ps 27:4 One [thing] have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

And when I am tempted to fear condemnation, or messing up by not meeting MY standards…these verses give me comfort:

Is 41:10 Fear thou not; for I [am] with thee: be not dismayed; for I [am] thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Is 41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.

He has never let me down…He has never left my side…and I owe HIM my all.
So, if I lose my map…MY map, I just need to go back to MY guide…

Prov 8:17 I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.
Deut 4:29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.

And then, by the grace given to me through Jesus Christ, I just start putting one foot in front of another all over again.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!

100 Spiritual Walking Steps – #14 – Whose path am I walking on?

I think this will be very short.

2 Cor 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

This scripture is dealing with boasting…but I think it also applies to comparing yourself to others, and allowing that to drag you down.

When Jim and I were doing races, he could run them, and I could only walk. I would see him running past me, and I had not even made it to the 1/2 way point. I had to remind myself that I could not run…and that I was doing my best, and yet, I often felt my best was not good enough.

Sometimes the 5k races were coupled with 10k or marathons…and each had it’s own path. If a 5k person got off onto the 10k, or worse, the marathon path, there would be no support to get back to the real path…and someone like me could be overcome with fear, and regret, shame and sadness, and just quit.

With some physical things coming up in my life…I am having trouble believing that my path is actually a path.
I have friends that are missionaries to the Phillipines, in Naomi’s Heart Mission.  I always wanted to be a missionary with children.
I have friends that have been able to GO to mission fields, or participate in Compassion’s Sponsorship tours. My heart has broken to go to meet the children we have sponsored.

There are people that go speak to churches, sing, perform, and bless people.
I have friend that have multiple children that do amazing things…all over the country and world….
I have friends that have homeschooled and done amazing things with their children, and seemed so together doing it!
I have friends that have children that have grown up in the church, taken part in the church and eventually become leaders in the church.

These are paths that I have always wanted to walk.
But, when I try to go down those paths, I soon get weary, overwhelmed, and discouraged.

My path is writing and art. Not organization, not performance, not leadership.
When I write, I feel alive, I know the presence of the Lord is with me, and I dwell in His joy.
When I paint, I can feel the power of HIS creative forces flow through me, and I can touch a little of His artistic bent.

There is ONLY ONE path to Heaven – and that is through ONE door, JESUS Christ Our Lord, as the Son of God, who lived, died and rose again to pay the price for our sins.
Whereas the world would have there be many paths to the door, and then we will all be alike on the other side, the Bible has it ONE path to ONE narrow gate, the door Jesus Christ, and then, we are individuals on the other side.

I’m not going to be a Kay Arthur or a Beth Moore. I won’t dress like Joyce Meyer, or wear make up like some of the 700 club women.
I am me.
Jesus knew who I was before I did.
Jesus knows what my ‘bent’ is, because HE bent me this way!
I made it through the narrow gate…because HE chose ME!
Now, I have to choose to be ME – and walk on the path HE sets before me…
So, #14 is – walk on YOUR OWN path…knowing that others are walking their own paths in God’s time!

Here’s a neat song..”Walkin down Heaven’s Road“…I wish I could find a better version:

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Barbs Drawing

Naomi's Heart Mission

Help a child in need. Check out Naomi’s Heart Mission or Compassion International. The life that changes will be your own!