If you don’t know what scuttlebutt is, please check out

Intro, part one, part two, part three and part four

If you want a great book to help you prepare for, and recover with, please check out Healing and Hope by Christine Carter. Tell her Christi sent you!

Here is my latest video to the Wildberry Patch group on facebook…

With that said and done…What was the journey from part six, to this one, the finale?

Well, there was the struggle with confusion with the pain and doctor’s instructions, as I share in Pain/Peace.

There is so many things that I;ve learned on this journey, and I’m still learning, because the wound site for the JP Tube is still an open wound. My skin is bleeding from the tape used to keep the bandages on it for the last, going on 6 weeks. BUT GOD!

God is our creator, and He made us in His image (just read Genesis 1 and 2), so He infused us with creativity! Once the major drainage stopped…I was waiting for an answer…and he has given me one that is giving my skin relief. Also, someone was given creativity for the super special sensitive skin tape…when I have to use tape, I use that now!

That said, I’ve also learned that I need to set boundaries…for myself and others.
What? you say? Boundaries? Christi, of what do you speak??? HAHAHA!

Yes, I have to realize that without that tube in me, I do not have the continual pull on skin that caused sheering pain, and could drive me to my knees! Now, I just get tired. And some base pain from the muscles that have been in rest mode for 6 weeks! First day…I walked out to the garden, and into the garden, to my daughters house, and then back to my herb garden.
This was after I straightened up my own office… yep…putting things away, bending and reaching.

OW! Boundaries…who knew?

I’m going to finish up this series by sharing what I’ve learned, by going through the final chapters in this book. Christine Carter has really been a Godsend to help me take this journey step by step!

Chapter 8 – Own it, Laugh a Little and Get Out.

“Here’s the thing: you are physically broken right now.
You might not have showered for days, and the stench you exude proves it”

Personally, I lived with baby wipes and those neat cloths that hospital gave me to bathe with.
I did wear deodorant.
My hair was always up…because if it was down, folks would know just how dirty it was!

Showering was a torment…and the last shower before the tube came out seemed to almost pull the stitch that held the tube in out of the skin. I mean, seriously…who thought ONE stitch would keep this tube connected to me…ME, the one that hates to sit still so God has allowed some physical ailments to MAKE me sit still. I was afraid that I’d torn something inside…I was afraid I’d caused infection…I was afraid. Period.

This chapter helped me to NOT compare myself to other able bodied people, or even others going through physical trials. I needed to OWN IT…this was the current NORMAL for me…and the only way to get through this valley was to MOVE through it! Not exercise type moving…but, mentally moving.

GO OUT – yes, I chose some opportunities to go out.
With my husband for our anniversary

With a friend to Olive Garden, and a few others places.
Do you know what I struggled with?
The stupid JP Tube showing as a bump under my clothes…no matter how bulky the clothing was.
I didn’t want anyone to look at me and wonder “what’s that under her shirt/dress?”

“You need to be okay with where you’re at right now”

I wasn’t…and I was vain!
God spoke to my heart…how do you respond to someone you see with a catheter? Oxygen? any other health related addition?
“Lord, I would look at them, not the appliance…let them know they are human, and I see them!”

Then humble yourself to learn how they truly feel, and be thankful for such tools for your healing.

This all happened in a matter of seconds, between getting out of the car, and stepping up on the curb.
Just to really drive it home…when the tube was removed, Jim was going to take me out for dinner. As I got out of the car, I started walking into the restaurant, and noticed that the side of my dress where the tube was had gotten soaked with bodily fluid. The little bandage the doctor had put on was in no way ready for the flow…and my dress caught the rest.

“oh no, let’s just go home!”
Ever supportive, Jim started to turn around, and he said Ok…but I remembered this earlier lesson….
“No – I’ll go into the bathroom and see what I can do…and it’s not so big I can’t cover it with my purse. Let’s go in”

Sometimes, when we are given lessons, we get a retest later, to see if we were really listening!

I’m thankful for the mornings I’ve spent on my swing.

And, I’ve found that if I smile at someone…they don’t notice the JP tube sticking out of my shirt, the wet stain on the side of my dress, or the wheelchair that I’m in. They smile back.

I also planned from the beginning to enjoy two FB shows…
Returning the Favor with Mike Rowe
Drybar comedy show

These have helped me laugh, and rejoice in others outside of myself.

Chapter 9 – Prayer and Spirituality

“Religion/spirituality is a significant part of many people’s lives. This is one area that should not be neglected, especially now. …
For me, Christ is the only answer and true source of peace”

Christine allows that there are other faiths that one may be a part of, and encourages all to seek their faith in times such as these, but clearly speaks to her faith as a Christian.

This may be the first time God has had you all to Himself

Not quite true…but, often true that I’m too busy to just be still.
This has been a learning about being still…knowing that HE is God…
declaring that HE is God
acknowledging that I AM NOT God!

Here are a few of my lessons learned:

• My worth is based on WHOSE I am, not who I am
• asking for help is part of life
• Saying No can be healthy
• Speak LIFE -scriptures – over my life, body, husband, children, friends…SPEAK LIFE not death
• My messenger group of prayer partners…I would get an encouragement every day!

And a huge change in my view point:
Let It Go…Let them go!
Some people are in my life for a time
others for eternity.
let those that want to leave, leave.
If I have tried to make sure I didn’t offend, and gotten a response that I did not, then…
It’s not personal, so don’t take it personal.

Seriously – I’ve spend so much wasted time worrying over folks that I thought I had a connection with that just dropped me like a hot potato.
Some that I thought would be prayer partners with me that didn’t even want to receive notifications of the surgery(and they had asked for them).
Some I thought were my best friends, that decided that a hurt, misunderstanding or whatever was far more important than restoring our friendship.

If I have done what I could do…I cannot change their minds.   Here’s the Bible on my responsibility:

Matthew 5:23-24 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
23 So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

There are more scriptures.
I cannot force anyone to forgive me, I can only apologize, and try to make amends.
If I don’t know what I’ve done, I can’t fix it…and in that case, again, I need to let it go, I need to let them go.

Christine has a great outline for prayer in this chapter, with fill in spaces for one to write them in.

Chapter 10 – A new Day

“Wherever you are on this healing journey, I want to promise you something:
There will be a day when you are done healing.”

I’m not there yet…but, I’m closer than I was 6 weeks ago!

“you will treasure what you discovered during the long, quiet moments of reflection, dreaming and digging deep to find passion, purpose, and new ideas for the road ahead.”

That is what these surgery scuttlebutt stories are all about.
I have restored my faith in Jesus Christ.
I have remembered my calling to write a book.
I have received the love of many, virtual and physical as I’ve healed.
and I rejoice in the way the Lord has met me on each step!

“Some things need to be broken, opened and taken apart to let light in.
Look for the light, my friend. It is shining somewhere in you.”

Amen!

Chapter 11 – And another thing

“After you are all healed and life has returned to its rapid pace, you may still have those lovely little reminders of this difficult season:
that twinge of pain comes along now and again, or maybe your arm doesn’t quite boast the strength it once did….”

I have a 12 inch scar now….and no idea how the JP tube hole will heal.
I have a kidney that I need to treat carefully…I need to seriously consider my diet options.
I have muscles that are achy…and, there are a whole set of side muscles that have been cut that will not like doing side bends, or anything else!

This is my new normal.
And, I thank God for it.
If I had not gone through all the stuff to get to Cleveland Clinic….The End is Near explains the journey…I would not even have this kidney!

I’ve learned to rejoice in hearing the birds.
I’ve learned to laugh with my grandchildren, and my husband, and my friends.
I’ve learned that I can love others from my bed because I live in the age of social media!
I’ve learned that others love me.
And even more so, I’ve learned again, that Jesus loves me!

 
Hi!
My hope in the midst of despair and my joy in the face of depression is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ. If you do not have one, or are not sure you will join him in heaven, please check out these links.

• Got Questions provides a detailed explanation of The Roman’s Road.
• Billy Graham’s version of the Plan of salvation

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

“The Lord does not give me rules, but He makes His standard very clear.
If my relationship to Him is that of love, I will do what He says without hesitation.
If I hesitate, it is because I love someone I have placed in competition with Him, namely, myself.” – from My Utmost for His highest

Copyrights and Legal-eze
There are many organizations that support children and families. Here are ones that we are blessed to be a part of. Please consider sponsoring a child – the life you change could be your own.

• Naomi’s Heart Ministries
• Obed’s House Ministries
• Project Based Missions, Global
• The son of a friend will be interning with CRU – previously known as Campus Crusades for Christ. If you’d like to support someone I can vouch for in this area, please consider going to Matthew Plant’s donation page.
• Compassion