Tag Archives: Jesus

Spiritual Walking – Day 2 – Who Done It????

When I walk, I pray.
When I walk, I listen to music.
Today, I was listening to Butterfly Kisses, and thinking of my girls, and how I’m so proud of them.
But one line,

“Oh with all that I’ve done wrong
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every mornin’
And butterfly kisses at night”(1)

My mom used to say to me, “I don’t know what I did right to deserve a daughter like you, but I must’ve done something right.”

The truth?
I did absolutely NOTHING to deserve these wonderful children – well, except for obeying the command to multiply!
I did absolutely nothing to deserve the miscarriages, the children that I never held in my arms.
My five children are gifts from God – totally undeserved, unearned. Just like the sunshine and the rain that God blesses even the wicked with every day. Gifts, undeserved and unearned.

Then, I thought about myself, a child of God Almighty, saved by the gift of sacrifice, by the Son of God, Jesus Christ, and sustained by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
Gifts – I did not deserve them, and I did not earn them, and NOTHING I do can change the fact that I can do NOTHING to change my daughterhood.

I used to tell my children, there is nothing you can do that is so bad that I will stop loving you. It’s true.
Some have tried to test that out…but even with estranged times,

I love them forever,
I like them for always,
as long as I’m living,
my babies they’ll be! (2)

God says the same thing to us…John 10:27-29

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any [man] pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave [them] me, is greater than all; and no [man] is able to pluck [them] out of my Father’s hand.

We didn’t do anything to deserve this gift …as Paul explains in Eph 2: 8-9

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

The first step was to know that I needed a Savior, the second step is – HE SAVED ME not the other way around. The very faith it took to ask Him into my life was a gift from Him, because, without Him, I could not have done it.
And I know that:

He will love me forever,
He’ll like me for always,
as long as He’s living(eternally)
My Daddy, He’ll be!

Jesus loves me, this I know,
For the Bible tells me so,
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak, but He is strong!

(1) BUTTERFLY KISSES LYRICS
(2)Love You Forever by Robert Munsch

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Weight Watchers – day 2
100 Spiritual Steps- blog – day 2
Chronological Bible reading…
50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- gotta start!

Spiritual Walking Steps – Start Over – Day 1

I started a blog a while ago about 100 Spiritual Walking Steps.
I apologized in a blog, for not making sure that I kept that blog going as I traveled.
Well – I hope to start over…

Walking – a spiritual walk.
Why does walking have such a deep meaning to me?

Well – while in the Navy, I fell and was paralyzed from the waist down for several months – because of inflammation around five discs that were slipped. While I am very good with a wheelchair…I really appreciate the ability to walk.

After many surgeries on various parts of my legs, last summer culminated in three surgeries on my right ankle. After each surgery, I had weeks that I could not walk – wheelchair bound, and beholden to others to help me get around, and do things. I was very good with the wheelchair, but I wanted to walk on my own two feet.

Last December, when my daughter was going to give birth to our second grandchild, I was not permitted to travel, because of the recovery of my ankle. Needing a wheelchair would be a burden to them, as well as not being able to walk up and down the stairs in their house, or walk my own dog. This was very devastating to me.

Therefore – physically, I want to walk! But, while I have not been able to walk, I have thought about my Spiritual Walk.

The Psalm that comforts me the most, whenever I am in a trial, is Psalm 23.

The LORD is MY shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures: He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores MY soul: He leads me in the paths of righteousness for HIS name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death: I will fear no evil: for YOU are with me; YOUR rod and YOUR staff, they comfort me.
YOU prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies: You anoint my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

For me, the main points in this psalm are about walking, following, and yielding to the shepherd.
The FIRST step, is making sure that the LORD Jesus Christ IS YOUR Shepherd!
I did that in August of 1969.
The Plan of Salvation is simple.

The thing is – just like exercise, every day, I have to wake up, and say “Jesus, I choose YOU, and YOUR path, TODAY.”

The other TRUTH is, there are times during the day that I have to say “oops, I have walked off the path. Jesus, I’m sorry, I choose to walk on YOUR path again.” It seems that the first step seems to often need to be repeated.

***I am not speaking about salvation needing to be repeated – I’m talking about needing to notice where one is walking, and making adjustments when needed to get back in focus with Jesus Christ.***

So – Step 1 for a Spiritual Walk is choosing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and choosing to walk in His paths daily. Maybe that’s steps 1 & 2…but they are the ONLY steps that are important when it all boils down to it.

For Today, I choose Jesus. My plan is to choose HIS paths every second of every day – but I know that I will fall. And just like walking, when you fall, you need to get back up…but I’ll talk about that later.

My verse for today:

Josh 24:15 And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

Weight Watchers – day 1

100 Spiritual Steps- blog – day 1

Chronological Bible reading…

50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- starting NOW

Walking in the Spirit – sometimes it’s just messy

In the last few months, I’ve been focusing on walking in the spirit – the SPIRIT of God, that is.

One month in Germany started with walking through the whole security issues with an assistance dog, and abuse issues if we needed the pat down screening.

Some of the stairs in the Hohenekan Castle

Then, walking up hill EVERYWHERE in Germany! Stairs to my room, UP to go to the bathroom. UP to take Gabe to the bathroom. UP to any castle.

Then, the walk back to the airport, with folks that don’t speak English all the time. We got through security, and wheeled to the plane just before it flew off…PERFECT! God was with us!

Now, the walk of moving out of an apartment – into the RV for the next phase of our lives committed to God’s work.

The wires burnt right under the brown spot on the cover

See the brown spot, where the heat was starting to come through?

But, we had a fire in an electrical box, which endangered our lives, and the RV, and everything we had moved into it.

Now, we are walking around an apartment with little to no furniture – because it’s all gone!

Why did I go to Germany? To bless our daughter and son-in-law, and to be blessed by them.
Was there a struggle? Yes…
Was it worth it? Yes…
Would I do it again? Yes…
But some steps were VERY hard! But that was last week….

NEXT….. today’s walk….

Why did we give away our stuff? To bless others that they might bless others in return.
Was there a struggle? Not until now, when we’re sitting in the empty apartment…until repairs are done.
Was it worth it? We are in the middle of this valley – we cannot see the ‘worth’, though we can trust that God is faithful to HIS promise.
We can count the blessings:

I was watching a movie, Jim was working later than usual on the computers…therefore: We didn’t go to bed at the usual time, and put on our CPAP’s and miss the burning electrical smell.
Jim is an electrical computer guy…he was not about to quit looking for it…he tore off some plywood to find the burning box.
Jim smelled the burning…many times, he doesn’t smell the smells I smell…but this time, he smelled it, and reacted.
we are under warranty…and so is the RV!
we have two more weeks of an apartment…before we have to be OUT!
we have the mattress out of the RV to sleep on…on the floor…just like when we first got married!

Was this worth it? Well..I think I’m too close to it, right in the middle of it right now…but I KNOW that God’s work in our lives is ALWAYS worth it…because it brings us closer and closer to HIM. And, this has caused a lot of prayer time and personal reflection in Jim’s and my life in the last 18 hours.

Would we do this again? – where I’m at right now…NO WAY! This was a valley of the shadow of death! IF, IF, IF…if we’d gone to bed at the normal time, in the normal way…we would be a story on the front page.

These steps are VERY HARD! I’d rather climb to the top of the Heidelberg Castle twice, maybe three times…maybe up and down all day…to not have to have this feeling that we could have been burned to death.(confirmed by the service manager that looked at the thing).

BUT – GOD!
That’s the story.
BUT GOD – had me decide to watch a movie that kept us up longer than usual.
BUT GOD – had Jim working with the computers, and notice the smell.
BUT GOD – the thing didn’t burst into flames when we opened the container to spray it.
BUT GOD – we are alive – we did not die – we are here to declare the glory of God.

This morning, as I walked with God, I asked “What happened to Psalm 91..no evil shall befall your dwelling?”
“Did your dwelling burn?”
“Well, no…But…”
“But what? Why didn’t it burn?”
“Because YOU had your hand on it, and us, and YOU prevented ANY evil from coming near our dwelling.”

…insert humble pie, and grateful heart…..

We could have been out on our trip to Ohio…and have to spend the time in a hotel.
We could have been in it…as I’ve said.

Ps 91:7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; [but] it shall not come nigh thee.

Personally, I think ‘at thy side” and “at thy right hand” is pretty “nigh” me…but, the point is…it isn’t ME!

Ps 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Walking “through the valley of the shadow of death” seems to be surrounded by evil…the key is “I will fear no evil”. The evil can surround me…but I am dwelling in the Secret Place of the Most High…and in His shadow, I am safe!!!

Walking this one out means to face a fear I have dreamt about all of my life…dying in a fire.

will this get fixed so that it won’t happen again?
is there something else that could happen?
how can we make sure that we don’t burn in this RV?
Is this safe?

Where is my trust? In what/Whom is my faith? Was this something that we did wrong? Or was this an attack to test us? Or was this just something that happened..that we have to learn from, and walk on?

The main issue here is in Whom do I place my trust? And, I have to admit, I have placed my trust in safety measures…rather than in Jesus Christ. I’m NOT saying to practice unsafe things, to tempt fate, or test God, but make sure that once having done the practical measures…the trust is in Jesus.

This thing should not have even been working…it was to connect to a generator THAT WE DO NOT HAVE!!! And yet, power went through it and burned up the wires, and started to burn the box that held it. All the safety features FAILED! In fact, there were NO fuses, we did not trip ANY of the safety features!

BUT GOD DID NOT FAIL!!!

Here are my confessions of faith…to walk on through this valley:

Matt 6:19-21 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:(OR FIRES DESTROY-author)
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

John 15: 1-14
verses 4&5 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye [are] the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Ps 91:1-2 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, [He is] my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Prov 18:10 The name of the LORD [is] a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.

Ps 27:4 One [thing] have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

Ps 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

I’m walking…I’m moving forward…and God just isn’t finished with me yet. I’m rechecking my spiritual armor, checking on my spiritual focus, and my spiritual roadmap…and keeping in close contact with my Spirit Guide…not the wierd one, The Holy Spirit( John 14:16, John 14:26, John 15:26), given to me, by Christ Jesus to teach, comfort, and guide me along this path of life. Maybe, there is something special to this walk!

Eph 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Doing a search for walk and Spirit starts up a whole ‘nother discussion…So, I’m thinking that when I get through this valley, God will have done some more boot camp work on my Spirit walk, and I will look back and say it was worth it. I don’t know if I’d say I’d do it over again…but then again, the repeat parts are walking with the Lord through the valley of death…and on the other end, there is that table set for us in the presence of our enemies, anointing with oil, and cup overflowing.

As I walked to the top of each of the castle mounds…I actually thought, I want to do this ONCE…and not do it again. And yet, I did it again, for the next castle, and the next.

I choose to walk with the Lord, on the mountain tops AND IN THE VALLEYS, over and over and over, until HE is through with me, and takes me home.

After Jesus told the disciples about the coming comforter, He said this:

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I remember the Mandie book series – and whenever they got into a rough spot, she would quote this verse:

Ps 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.

As I sat down to write out my thoughts…I was focused on Ps 91 and 23…but, through this writing, as I’ve confessed my fears, and confirmed my trust in Jesus Christ, God has led me to John 14, to talk about being led by the Holy Spirit. Interestingly enough, as I am walking through the testing of the possible loss of my dwelling…here is the beginning of John 14:

John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
John 14:2 In my Father’s house are many mansions: if [it were] not [so], I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
John 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, [there] ye may be also.

Isn’t that just like God? I’m worrying about my little RV, while He’s reminding me that HE has a mansion for me…and He’s preparing it for me…and what’s more….

John 14:4 And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

He has shown me the way…and if I forget, or am confused…The Comforter – John 14:26…shall teach me and bring back all things to my memory.

Ps 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Not the things of this world…but being led on the path that takes me to that mansion prepared just for me. Now, for that, I’ll walk up a mountain again!

The highest peak in Germany - Zugspize

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

100 days of moving challenge – starting June 1
100 days challenge- blog – start again, June 1
Chronological Bible reading…
50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD- starting NOW

The First 100 Days – Day 100 – what have I done?

Day 100

What were my goals?

100 days of moving challenge
100 days blog challenge
90 days Bible Reading
multiple T-Tapp challenges
40 days of Fasting For Food

What have I done?

I did complete the Fasting for Food – though I raised very little money for Compassion through that project.
I did not complete any T-Tapp challenges, because of vertigo issues – though this did separate the vertigo issues from everything else.
I did not complete the 90 days Bible Reading – though I read parts of my Bible I had never really ‘read’ before, and I did read more in the first 100 days because of this challenge.
As obvious by the lack of blog posts, I did not complete the 100 blog challenge, though the eye problems from the vertigo were clarified because of my difficulty at the computer screen.
I did not complete the 100 days of moving challenge – though because of it, I am now able to walk more than a 5k (3.2 miles) in a little over an hour, and I am able to start handling stairs. This has prepared me for my trip to Germany.

While the goal of a challenge is to complete it, I’m not sure that is what God’s requirement is. Yes, we are to be like Paul:

Phil 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

I just don’t think that God means that we are to arrive there in our lifetime. I’m not sure it’s possible.
What kept me from completing my challenges? Trials, to be sure, but more honestly, temptations to do otherwise.

James 1:12 Blessed [is] the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.

I did not choose to move when I could…and, honestly, if I could move to go to the bathroom or put something in my mouth, I could have moved for 10 minutes!
I did not choose to read the Bible or to listen to the Bible being read when I was too dizzy to focus… and honestly, I watched a lot of stupid TV while I sat trying to stay upright.
I did not choose to write short blogs, to share my experiences (which would have caused me to do some Bible study as well)…but I did keep up with email.

See, I can make excuses for not completing my challenges.

I know that God does not grant me salvation based on how good I do in challenges(THANK YOU JESUS!).
But I KNOW that I did not give my all to these challenges.
I KNOW that I treated my flesh before honoring God’s Spirit.

James 4:17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin.

So, for me, there has been sin.
Thankfully, for me, Jesus takes care of that for me when I confess my sins. He is faithful to forgive me of my sins(Thank you LORD!) (1 John 2:1-2 with 1 John 1:9)
Thankfully, there is no condemnation!

Rom 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

And the last two qualifiers are what lead me to my next goal…
walk NOT after the flesh, BUT AFTER THE SPIRIT!

When Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery, he said: “Go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11)

I will be setting new goals for the next 100 days, and I will be trying to walk in the Spirit (Gal 5:25).

AND, I will continue to confess my sins, I owe that to my Savior.

James 5:16 Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

And, through James, I have a promise:

James 5:15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

I will be working on a new signature set of challenges…but until then,
Thank you for joining me in this journey!

In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi

The First 100 Days – day 87 – Locked OUT!

This past weekend, I removed my house key, and my garage door key fob from my usual huge collection of keys.
It was sitting on the table next to me last night.
This morning, I went out for a walk with my husband and dog, with my cell phone documenting the walk for me! Jim had the keys.

Because Jim took the walk with me, I wanted to give him a lift over to the park and ride to catch the bus. I grabbed my keys, my purse, and the dog and walked out to the truck. Jim locked the house behind us. I prayed with him at the bus station, and headed home. First clue something was wrong…I didn’t have the key fob to let me back into the community!!! So, I ignored the rules and drove in the open out gate after someone left. I drove up to my parking space, parked, grabbed everything, and told Gabe to get out…and then, it hit me…my house keys are on the same ring as the community AND garage door opener key fob! I was LOCKED OUT!

Matthew 25:1 Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.
:2 And five of them were wise, and five [were] foolish.
:3 They that [were] foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:
:4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

Every one of them were virgins…all setting themselves apart, keeping themselves pure for the bridegroom.
Every one of them had a lamp.
Every one of them had access to oil. It doesn’t say they were poor and couldn’t get any oil, it says they were foolish and didn’t take any oil.

Matt 25:5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
:6And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.

I was so distracted by my conversation with Jim(my bridegroom), that I did not pick up the key ring that was RIGHT BY MY PURSE!!! I left so fast, I didn’t even pick up my phone! No wonder this little purse is so light! I was NOT prepared!

A few friends have had stories about locking themselves out recently. Each one had some resource that enabled them to protect themselves from danger.

One got frostbite being barefoot in freezing weather, but she was able to get into her car to stay warm, and drive for help. She remembered a hidden key!
Another thought she was locked out, in her night clothes. She borrowed clothes from the scarecrow, and later, found out that a door that was always locked, was open, leading straight into her kitchen. She wandered around, looking to break in, when the door was already open.
Who would have thought that being locked out could be a life or death matter?
Being locked out of heaven is a LIFE or DEATH matter!

Matt 25:7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their lamps.

As the virgins awoke and trimmed their lamps – some found that they were without oil. They had run out.

As I came up to the gate, I found that I was without keys, or clicker. The windows were all locked. My options had run out!

Matt 25: 8And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps are gone out.
:9 But the wise answered, saying, [Not so]; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

The one friend was blessed. She was able to drive the car to WalMart, call her mom, and with various people involved, got help to get back into her new apartment.
The other friend was blessed. A door that was normally locked, was open, and she was free to walk right into her kitchen.
This morning, I was blessed. I have a wonderful neighbor that I could wake up at 7:30am, and she let me in, gave me water to drink, and we had a great hour and a half of visiting.

Not so much for the virgins that were not prepared.

Matt 25:9 But the wise answered, saying, [Not so]; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.
;10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.

The door was shut.
Locked out.
Intense desire to get IN.
No way to do it alone.

The one friend – with phone calls, and a friend’s Dad, she got a key that was able to get her back into her apartment.
The other friend – someone left a door unlocked, and she was able to get right in.
I was able to go to the Office, and one of the ladies gave me a copy of my key, and I was able get back in.

The five ill prepared virgins couldn’t get in. They needed the key!

Matt 25:11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.
:12 But he answered and said, Verily I say unto you, I know you not.

The friend that needed to get back into her office had her ID verified in a casual way, by meeting her friend’s dad for help.
The other friend owned the house…she knew who she was.
When I went to the office, I have to give them my ID, to hold until I brought the copies back. They wanted proof of who I am!

The virgins that did not MEET the Bridegroom BEFORE the entrance to the wedding feast WERE NOT KNOWN, and therefore they WERE NOT PERMITTED IN. Only this time, it’s not just a party, it’s eternal.

THEY WERE LOCKED OUT! They didn’t have the key.

What was the key? Knowing the Bridegroom.
Simply:

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

It wasn’t the Bridegroom’s fault that the five virgins were left outside. They did not prepare, and were not ready, they did not endure to the end.

If we do not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, it’s not because we have not been given everything needed to do so, it’s because we have been lazy, not preparing, and not choosing that which leads us to the narrow gate.

John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Today, I got so distracted, I didn’t stop to think, and I had to avail upon the help of others to get into my home.

Someday, I will walk to the gate of heaven, and again, I will have to avail upon the help of another to get into my eternal home. The blood of Jesus Christ redeemed me from my sin, IF I apply it. The KEY to entering into the wedding feast of the Lamb of God is to be WASHED by His blood, CLOTHED in the wedding garment of white, and KNOWN by HIM.
I do not want to allow the distractions of this world to cause me to run out of oil in those final moments.
By faith, I continue to choose this path, and I look forward to the day that He comes, and then, in the celebration of His reign, I will enter in with HIM, as His bride.

Everyone can enter in. Everyone has John 3:16. No one has to be left outside. Choose ye, this day, whom ye shall serve.

Matt 25:13 Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

100 days of moving challenge – day 87 – walked the dog!
100 days challenge- blog – check
90 days Bible Reading – Luke
50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD

The First 100 days – day 83 – Protection

Psalm 91 – the Protection Psalm.

It’s called the Soldier’s Psalm. You can print it out at Lamppost Publishing. It is said that it was prayed by the 91st Brigade and they suffered no casualties.

I want to believe that this is psalm is a promise that is absolute.

~~~Especially this part~~~
Ps 91:3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
~~~~and this part~~~~
Ps 91:11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
12On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.

Yes there are the qualifiers:

vs 1 dwells in the shelter of the Most High
vs 2 says to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
vs 9 has made the Lord your dwelling place—
vs 9 has made the Most High, your refuge
vs 14 holds fast to God in love
vs 15 knows MY(God’s) name.

I suppose that if I walked perfectly, without sin, then nothing would happen to me, to hurt me…right? We always have the promises in Deuteronomy 28. Even that comes with qualifiers:

Deut 28:1 And it shall come to pass, if
a. thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God,
b. to observe [and]
c. to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth:

Are we really supposed to be protected from all the evil that is in the world? If everything went right for Christians, we’d have no problem evangelizing, or would we? When the Jews, who followed God’s cleansing laws, didn’t get the diseases around them, they were attacked for calling on their God to attack those that got sick! When a family has raised children that are obedient, respectful, God-fearing and God serving, others don’t say “Hey, how did you do that…I want my kids to be just like yours!” Others say – you are too strict, you are too narrow minded…you are stunting your children’s growth, all the time their children are running amuck.

My children are not the perfect God-fearing, missionary, ministry focused youth, so, I can say the above. They had a problem. They had a handicap. They had Jim and I for parents. And, we are imperfect. We have a fallen nature. We made mistakes – probably more than even those we’d rather not broadcast! So, we had injuries. We had sickness. We had financial issues. We didn’t qualify for Deut 28. We tried to abide under the shadow of the almighty, and dwell in the secret place…but we kept steppin’ out of the covering! Because we ARE human!

The Bible is not black and white. WHAT???!!!??? Is this CHRISTI writing???!!!???

While there are these promises for protection, there ARE qualifications – cause and effect – consequences – and, um, freedom of choice – free will – which can turn into self will!

Jesus was perfect…and those last few days were pretty painful to Him. It was because of our sin.

Is 53:5 But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Have you stopped transgressing? I haven’t.
Have you overcome all your iniquities? I haven’t.

Therefore, the chastisement of our peace was laid upon him, and he gave us peace.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

And by his STRIPES we are healed.

1 Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

WHOA! THERE’S MORE QUALIFIERS! Or is it the responsible reaction of gratitude?

God KNEW we would still have trouble with our sinful nature…and gave us even MORE help!

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 2:1-2 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for [the sins of] the whole world.

Why am I contemplating this today? There have been several incidents lately that have made me dig deeper into my understanding of God’s handling of my affairs.

Today, I learned that my middle son almost lost his finger in a log splitting accident.

Steve's finger, after log splitting accident

I know he isn’t walking ‘perfectly’ with the Lord – just by what I know! But, even though his finger was not protected, and the bone was cut in two – God DID protect him, and in his drugged state, he called and told my husband these ways, giving God the praise:

it did not go all the way through…it has all the parts cut, and the bone broken…but missed the artery.
He had gloves on. Grandson Brayden was with him and did not see much at all – was fine until the ambulance got there.
Brayden’s mom was out there – a) they are trying to work out their relationship, b) she was able to take care of Brayden and Steve
The doctor at the community hospital put it back on, then sent him to a bigger hospital…which was so impressed with her work, it did not need to be re reattached.
They are sure that they can reattach tendons and such – he has a consult tomorrow (Friday)

Stephen was praising God for all these ways that God protected him…and we join him in that praise and thanks!

All of the mighty men and women of the Bible had ‘bad’ things happen to them in their lives. How do I hold both the evidence of a fallen world(we don’t live in the Garden of Eden) with the promises of protection and provision?

I Believe:

God is Who He says He is.

God can do what He says He can do.

I am who God says I am

I can do what He says I can do(all things through Christ!)

God’s word is active and alive in me.

from Beth Moore – Believing God.

I believe that God’s Word – the Bible as we know it – is, well:

2 Tim 3:16 All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

Therefore, what seems to be a contradiction, is just a matter of digging deeper, to get understanding.

Dog owners – have you watched the shows Dog Whisperer or It’s Me or the Dog? To train a dog, you do not give them affection when they are doing the wrong thing. You praise them when they are doing the right thing, and give them blessings called treats! As humans we are just now learning this…maybe God knew it all along?

Parents – are you familiar with such training as Positive Parenting? Actually, I have only heard rave reviews. My training for child care at the YMCA utilized this type of training. When a child is misbehaving, you do not give them the attention they are trying to obtain. When the child is behaving you lay praise and adoration on thick! You choose discipline that leads the child to an ability to self control, and eventually, other character qualities. IBLP has a great training about Character Qualities. Another group, Character First has great resources as well.

What’s my point? We’re not here to be protected from physical harm. Noah lost everything in a flood! And he was the only righteous man found! Lot was protected from destruction. Jesus was beaten, and crucified – and He was PERFECT.

A child that ate candy all their life would have cavities. Is that God’s fault? It’s a consequence of the choices(for a child, the parent’s).
Lot’s family was delivered from the destruction, and because of their hearts, they then brought destruction upon themselves. It was THEIR choices!

I have health issues because of how I have NOT taken care of this temple…that’s NOT God’s fault, that’s cause and effect. I can, however, use these ‘negatives’ to change things, and then ask God’s favor, grace and mercy to help me ‘get it right’. After all, that’s God’s purpose – to have me run into His tower for protection, and dwell with Him!

The spirit of the man is what is important. The purpose for anything in our lives is to make us more like Jesus.

2 Tim 3:16 All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
:17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

1 Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

1 John 2:1-2 My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:

To me, the promise of protection is a ‘carrot’ that reminds me to DWELL under the shadow of the Almighty!
To me, the promises of Deuteronomy 28 are ‘rewards’ for choosing to obey what God has shown me.

YES – when something bad happens, I do check out my relationship with God first! Then, if I need to repent – I do it. If I need to turn around, or ask forgiveness, or change something – I do it!

I KNOW that my heavenly Father loves me, and gives me ONLY good gifts. James 1:17
I KNOW that bad things happen because of my fallen nature. James 1:13-16
I KNOW that all things work together for my good….Romans 8:28(there’s a qualifier here!)
I KNOW that God has a plan for my life – Jeremiah 29:11
And that plan has been in effect since before I was born…Psalm 139:13-17, Jeremiah 1:5
I KNOW that bad things happen, because of the fallen nature of the world…Romans 8:22

I also know, by combining these scriptures and many others, that some perfect gifts come wrapped in bags of garbage. It I toss them out, and complain about the garbage, I will never get that diamond, ruby, sapphire that is hidden in the midst of the garbage. It’s just like those presents that people give with multiple boxes, filled with newspaper…only the gift at the end of this garbage bag is eternal…and growing closer to the Everlasting God!

God’s ways are so much higher than ours. The foolishness of man(what confuses man) is the wisdom of God.

Romans 8:1 [There is] therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Col 2:6 As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, [so] walk ye in him:

1 John 1:7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

Does it make any sense that one person, totally void of any wrong doing, would take the death penalty for all the terrorists in the world? All the rapists? All the murderers? All the child abusers? All the kidnappers? No. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Does it make any sense that the death of one man could provide the choice for anyone, whosoever chooses, to be washed of all their crimes, and to start life anew – nothing hanging over them? No. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Does it make any sense that a person, to whom so much has been given, would go back to their crimes, and muck up the beautiful opportunities laid before them? No. It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Does it make sense that the Bible has promises for perfect protection, as a result of perfect obedience? Yes.
Does it make sense that a judge would give out leniency, mercy, and grace to criminals that break the laws of his jurisdiction? No. And yet, God blesses the just and the unjust every day.
Does it make sense that a loving Heavenly Father would make a way for His erring children to come back into fellowship – and receive the blessing of His presence through Jesus Christ, our ambassador? As a mother, this makes sense to me. As a citizen, I want the full application of the law! Put those ogres in prison!

So, I have conflicts with what many take for granted in God’s word…and yet, I can hold the conflict of protection, with the bad things that happen together in my heart as both true. Why? Because Christianity IS FAITH! I may not be able to see the sense in what God has done, but I am so grateful for the ‘foolishness’ of God that has washed me from my sins, that I am willing to receive all the ‘foolishness’ of God as just far above my wisdom. Jesus asked the questioning Pharisees – Is it easier to heal or to forgive sins? In truth, it is much easier to heal…because forgiveness comes very hard! So, the greatest mystery is that God sent His Son to die on my behalf…everything else is just, well, faith!

I have been guilty of asking “WHY ME?” or “WHY MY FAMILY?” at times…and, I have repented. The question should be “WHY NOT ME?” Why do you choose to look upon my family with grace and mercy, when we are not perfect? Why didn’t I leave 2 seconds earlier and be in that huge accident right behind me? Why didn’t my babies die at birth when things looked so bad? Why didn’t Jim lose his job, and we go for months on unemployment? Why didn’t I get cancer? Why not us? Because, HE LOVES US! And because HE loves us first, we love Him.

Here is a passage from Isaiah – to just remind us what Jesus did for us…and can we take the little difficulties(as Paul said) and choose to count them but joy?(2 Cor 4:16; 2 Cor 11:23; Phil 3)

Isa 53:1	Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?
Isa 53:2	For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, [there is] no beauty that we should desire him.
Isa 53:3	He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isa 53:4	Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
Isa 53:5	But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
Isa 53:6	All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

I have one last quote:

“If you wish to know God, you must know his Word.
If you wish to perceive His power, you must see how He works by his Word.
If you wish to know His purpose before it comes to pass, you can only discover it by His Word.”
…(C.H. Spurgeon)

I lied:

Sola Fide – by faith alone
Sola Gracia – only by God’s grace
Sola Scriptura – only by God’s word
Solus Christus – through Christ only
Soli Deo Gloria – only for the glory of God.

Bad things WILL happen. That’s NOT the point. The point IS – how will we respond? I want to always run to the tower of the Lord, and to dwell under the shadow of His wings – because it’s only through the Lord that I have help to make it through the bad things that happen.

Prov 18:10 The name of the LORD [is] a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe.

In case you are interested, Mary Jane Holt, of the The Citizen researched the story, and the truth about the Soldier prayer...very nicely done.
Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

100 days of moving challenge – day 83 – going to the Y!
100 days challenge- blog – check
25 verses in 52 weeks – Phil 4:8
90 days Bible Reading – Luke
50 days T-Tapp – AL, OIP, HD

The First 100 days – Day 71 – Am I Dying?

severe stomach pains
sweating
dizziness
nausea
blurred vision
what is it?

I thought I had food poisoning! But my friend was fine, and we split the whole meal! Apparently, the place I ate lunch also served some things that I am allergic to…shellfish. People on the gulf LOVE their shrimp! Cross contamination can be deadly for me.

2 Cor 6:14-16a Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?

Cross contamination in our Christian walk is deadly. Reading the Old Testament…the Hebrews messed up when they took wives from outside the faith. Solomon messed up with all the wives that drew him away. King upon King, man upon man…even Rachel took her father’s idols and hid them! Cross contamination!

There is a solution:

I died on the imaging table as they pumped IVP(iodine) into my blood system. I was told the rescue was quite exciting, probably only because I survived! They did the huge needle with ‘adrenalin’ and stuck it right into my heart. I’m told that the reaction is eerie…like seeing someone raised from the dead. Understand, I didn’t see it, but I am here now, because of it!

2 Cor 6:16b-18 for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in [them]; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean [thing]; and I will receive you,
And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

The solution for cross contamination in our spiritual life is to cut it out. I became allergic to IVP dye, and eventually Iodine totally, because when they did one of the exams, my spine wouldn’t let go of the last bit of iodine dye. A nerve got stuck on the needle, and they were not able to get that last bit. BTW, needles pulling on spinal nerves seems to wake the dead…I screamed and jumped, while being totally sedated! They had to leave that dye in my spine, because ‘I’ wouldn’t let go. That bit of dye caused the code reaction with the next test…and now, 32 years later…my system does not react well to any type of iodine! It makes me sick.

Just like that iodine dye, we need to let go of the things that compromise our walks with Christ. We need to remember that we are the temple of the Holy Ghost, and we should bring no ‘unclean’ thing into the temple. So often, we cannot do it alone…we need a big shot of ‘Holy Ghost adrenaline’ right into our hearts. We need to be raised up from the cross contamination death we are headed into!

Sometimes, like when we have yucky stuff in our system – we need to purge. Nausea and diarrhea are natural ways for our bodies to purge uncleanness.
Repentance – true repentance and turning way from the unclean things(sin – from murder all the way to lying) – is the only way to rid our spiritual lives from the weakness that comes from being cross contaminated!

Kingdoms were destroyed because of cross contamination. But God is merciful. Just like He gave Israel chances, over and over and over and over…so He will with us.

Lamentations 3:22-23 [It is of] the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. [They are] new every morning: great [is] thy faithfulness.

I have tended to make excuses. Isn’t that why our country is in the state it is in? And our nation? And especially our churches, families, and marriages? We’ve made excuses for our cross contamination.

Go back to the cross…put down the garbage things that are holding us down. Cry out for forgiveness, pray for forgiveness and put everything on the altar and pray for God’s fire to come down and burn off the dross. Then, take up ONLY those things that survive HIS cleansing fire.

This is a matter of life, or death!
Choose Life!

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

100 days of moving challenge – day 69
100 days challenge- blog – check
25 verses in 52 weeks – Phil 4:8
90 days Bible Reading – Isaiah – very behind.
50 days T-Tapp – AL

The First 100 Days – day 69 – flying by!

For those that actually read this, I apologize for my lack of consistency.

For those that appreciate the smaller bytes of my voracious loquaciousness, enjoy.

What has been filling my hours? Nancy DeMoss’s 30 Days of Encouraging Your Husband. Why would that be taking up so much of my time?
Here’s the challenge:

For the next 30 days, purpose not to say anything negative about your husband – not to him and not to anyone else about him.
For the next 30 days, tell your husband something that you admire or appreciate about him, something you’re grateful for.
And – tell someone else what you appreciate about him, as well.

Nancy’s team sends you a daily reminder…and of course, there are days that I just look at the reminder and say ‘seriously?’ And, my heart says ‘Seriously!’

So, this month, since I wasn’t able to fulfill this challenge with just the email notes, I have a journal – the Revive Our Hearts’ 30 Days of Encouraging Your Husband Journal.

So – I am writing something, almost every day…but it’s in this journal..and some days, it’s just hard. It’s not hard to figure out how to say something nice to Jim, it’s hard to figure out how to do so within the parameters of the challenge!

It’s also been hard to not say anything negative when we are both working hard to complete several major projects in the next few months.

Pack up the apartment to RV size
My trip to Germany(April-May)
Our move into the RV(May)
Our vacation trip(June)
Our daughter’s trip here(July)

The visit from our daughter Faith, with her son, is the least difficult! That will be a joy at the end of all of our projects!

As anyone who has traveled internationally, moved, and taken a long vacation with traveling most days, knows…there is a lot of things that go on behind the scenes!

As anyone who has moved from a three bedroom apartment to a, well lets just say one bedroom apartment, knows…there’s a lot of stuff to paw through to downsize.

So, those are my excuses for NOT writing consistently.

Think that will get GOD off my back? probably not.

Today’s husband encouragement verse is

Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:31

I’m trying to remain calm in the midst of several storms…and the stress gets to me…because I look at the storms. And in the midst of all of this…things keep pointing to FOOD!

1 Cor 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

I tend to go to food for comfort when under stress…and I need to think through, is that ‘to the glory of God’?

And, as I published a previously written blog, I came across Phil 4:8 again(it’s been showing up ALL OVER THE PLACE!)

Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren,
whatsoever things are true,
whatsoever things [are] honest,
whatsoever things [are] just,
whatsoever things [are] pure,
whatsoever things [are] lovely,
whatsoever things [are] of good report;
if [there be] any virtue,
and if [there be] any praise,
think on these things.

If I think on ONLY these things…wouldn’t I have no trouble praising and encouraging my husband?

Do you ever think that there are some negative things that are TRUE and HONEST about your husband? those are only 2/8s, or 1/4th of the things to focus on…and if you utilize the other 6/8s, or 3/4ths of the qualifiers…those negative truths don’t qualify to be thought on!

Here’s the tricky, think deeper thought – If I think only on these things, would I have the mind of Christ? And if the answer is YES, then, does this mean, that these are the only things that Christ thinks about when He thinks of me and you? There are some VERY UGLY truths about me…more than the lovely. But if this is the mind of Christ…He chooses NOT to think on these things. And by the blood of Jesus Christ, God the Father does not see those things. And this is why there is no more condemnation! God really does see us as NEW CREATURES! while giving us the time to grow into the man or woman HE intended, HE can see us to be!

Phil 4:20 Now unto God and our Father [be] glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

100 days of moving challenge – day 69
100 days challenge- blog – check
25 verses in 52 weeks – Phil 4:8
90 days Bible Reading – Isaiah – very behind.
50 days T-Tapp – AL

The First 100 days – Day 63 – Minimalism

Our journey here in 2011, in Texas, and in moving full time into an RV, was enhanced by a very unique post. The author is Francine Jay. Her blog is Miss Minimalist, Living a Beautiful Life with Less Stuff.

The first post I read, A Short Guide to Consumer Disobedience…stirred up the rebel in me, the desire to NOT conform to the pulls of this world.

I live a minimalist lifestyle for many reasons: for example, I love the freedom, the flexibility, and the financial benefits of not owning a lot of stuff.

But I must admit, it’s also a chance to indulge my inner rebel. I’ve been a straight-A student, model employee, and overall law-abiding citizen; yet when it comes to consumerism, I can’t resist my desire to stick it to the man.

Today, I found Miss Minimalist’s New Year’s challenge, The Year of the Butterfly.

The small butterfly
moves as though unburdened by
the world of desire

-Haiku by Kobayashi Issa
Today marks the first day of the Chinese New Year, which according to their lunar calendar is the Year of the Rabbit.

Well, I’d like to propose a special New Year for us minimalists: let’s make this the Year of the Butterfly.

I enjoy her writing, and philosophy so much, I purchased her book, The Joy of Less.

Less Stuff = More Joy

Having less stuff is the key to happiness. Do you ever feel overwhelmed, instead of overjoyed by all your possessions? Do you secretly wish a gale force wind would blow the clutter from your home? If so, it’s time to simplify your life!

While I do not agree that having less stuff is the key to happiness – since I believe that JESUS in our hearts, and right relationship with Him is the KEY – I do agree that past that, our stuff holds us hostage.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…NOT THINGS!

Things as idols….that could make hoarding idolatry…and this has been a big issue for me as I’ve downsized!

Does this clutter make me look fat? – Peter Walsh from TLC’s Clean Sweep wrote a book called Does this clutter make my butt look fat?
I haven’t read it, because I’ve been afraid of what it might say! The point is, clutter and hoarding in any area of your(my) life tends to excess. Keeping three copies of one book…why? Eating three hamburgers instead of one…why? Who needs it?

So, my biggest challenge has been cleaning away the emotions connected to the things…which is also part of the point of learning about emotional eating. Binge eating is just the same as binge buying, or binge hoarding. It’s BINGE – more than I need. Do I hear the word GLUTTONY???

So, I’m off to learn more about minimalism in so many areas…and to learn, in a new way that:

Phil 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

In fact…Phil 4 is a great chapter to read, and reread to learn what to focus upon.

Phil 4:20 Now unto God and our Father [be] glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,
In His hands and under His wings,
~Christi
Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

I’d love to hear what you think – please leave a comment! Or ‘like’ me! Or follow me with the RSS feed.

100 days of moving challenge – day 63
100 days challenge- blog – check
25 verses in 52 weeks – Ps 15:3-5(didn’t set up verse 4)
90 days Bible Reading – Isaiah – very behind.
50 days T-Tapp – ???

The First 100 days – day 62 – storms

I have failed to write this blog consistently…and this response is more personal…this is my life.

Life is happening here…but after reading about a friend’s life…I am reminded of the story about the woman that met with Jesus about how heavy her burdens were. He showed her the burdens of those around her, that she could not see – and everyone of those that she picked up were too big, too heavy for her. Then she saw this small burden and asked who’s that was…she was told to pick it up, and she said “it’s so light? Whose is this?” Yours, my child…

So, life is happening here…I have a disability that makes these difficulties challenging…but, I have a God that is greater than all these things…and I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.

I have to remember, like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress…the lions are chained.
I haven’t been able to T-Tapp, because for some reason, my energy levels, my strength, my heart rate and my breathing have all continued down hill. I haven’t even been able to take walks.
I will be taking my walker to Germany, and we are talking about some sort of braces for my ankles.
Apparently, my Fibromyalgia is in rare form, and I’ve had to add Mobix to aid the pain issues.

Other than that, this is all I have to get done:

planning the downsizing(Katy Christian Ministries is getting lots and lots of stuff),
preparing for the trip(April 18-May 18),
doing training for Gabe in prep for Germany(classes and trainers),
preparing for the move at the end of May(which has to be ready before I leave for Germany),
planning the June trip to Ohio(where I will meet a man that wants to confirm face to face what my father was – as in, validate the memories that have ‘destroyed’ my life), and that trip needs to be planned before I leave for Germany,
plan for Faith and Daniel’s visit here in July(because when I get back, I will be too busy moving and vacation to mess with tickets then), and
prepare for medical issues that have come up – in the mean time.

I haven’t blogged.
I haven’t kept up with the scripture memorization.
I’m not T-tapping much more than once a week, though sometimes I skin brush
I’m not walking much – energy issues
I’m not checking in here, or encouraging folks on the my initiated 50 challenge, or even doing the second 50 day challenge.
My blood work came back worse…even though I have eaten better, and exercised better during that 3 months. I KNOW that becoming fully diabetic is my fault. God gave me 7 years…and I failed.
I need to find that money tree…oh right, my God shall provide all my needs….
I’m failing commitments all over.

Anxiety? A little.
Physically – things seem to have gone backwards.
Making progress? definitely…but not as fast, or as well as I’d like…see that noun?

I ‘need’ a foundation…and I have put much of my roots into certain physical things that make me feel at home. God is shaking those roots…and reminding me that my roots need to be grounded somewhere even deeper…and I KNOW that I will get through this…

BUT – in the mean time…I feel like I am going through an earthquake, hurricane, and forest fire all at the same time. Sometimes, daily. I need to remember Elijah…in the cave…God is not in all of this, I need to be still, and wait for HIS still small voice.

The problem – when I get still, and hear his still small voice…I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!!! I want to stay in HIS presence! LOL, I don’t want to go back to the storms!!! But, they still keep raging…and I am learning that while there are times that I need to turn my back on the storms, and look into Jesus’ face…apparently, there are times that I need to face the storms…Sometimes, I need to face my enemies…knowing that HE has my back…and when it’s too dangerous, HE will command the storms to cease.

Still, I daily find myself to be human, weak, and struggling with my inabilities. Technically, in the Biblical and Spiritual world, that means that I am learning that when I am weak, HE is strong. Military Boot Camp was hard…but I learned my weaknesses, and the Navy showed me how to become strong. This is like God’s boot camp for me…and I KNOW that I will come out stronger. I KNOW that HE is with me. I KNOW that THIS is to help me put off those fleshly rags, and put on the garments that HE purchased for me.

I also KNOW that I should be counting all these things gifts, and rejoicing in these trials, testings…because HE is making me into what HE has planned for me. I KNOW that I will be better for these things. But, I also KNOW that I am human. These things hurt, like Eustace’s shedding of the dragon skin – he couldn’t do it alone – Aslan had to use his claws to cut through the layers. My God, My Christ, My Savior, My redeemer Jesus is answering my prayer to be more like HIM. right now, HE is clawing through the layers of fleshly baggage…because I can’t do it alone.

Sometimes, my heart holds on to “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.”
Sometimes, I remember “I shall not die, but live to declare the glory of God.”
I’m trying to just stand – simply stand, and wait to see the deliverance of God.
Sometimes, I just acquiesce to the process…which implies some pride still.
I don’t know that I have totally yielded to this process….which probably means I’m not being still. Actually, re-reading that – duh…I haven’t’ yielded yet!

One thing I know – God knows that I am but dust, and still, He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling…and to present you faultless …FAULTLESS…before the presence of HIS glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God, be glory and majesty, dominion and power both now and ever. Amen.

Thanks for joining me in this journey,

In His hands and under His wings,

~Christi

Ps 63:7 Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.